Dakari: The Real Story
by Artemis' Bow
Summary: KotOR through the eyes of Alriah Dakari, a Republic scout and former Sith Lord. What was going through her mind during their epic journey to undo what her past self had done, a past she doesn't even remember?Chapter7 up, small changes made to all chapters
1. Meeting Bastila

Disclaimers: I don't own the rights or the characters of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I have no money, so suing me is a waste of time and energy.

Okay, well, I played KotOR, and found myself a bit annoyed that you could flirt with Bastila as a male, but not as a female, and I had no interest in playing a character flirting with Carth. I don't like him much. So I decided it was high time for me to improvise. This story is my version of the game, taken through my female character's perspective, but with lines she would never be able to have in the game. A lot of the dialogue is from the game, but some of it, and all the thoughts and such are mine. Sometimes I change the dialog or combine speech options because I like the way it sounds more.

One thing I wondered sometimes that also made me want to write this is what happens in the times the screen fades to black and a chunk of time passes. The characters must have some interaction in those times, right? At least in my mind. So, read and review, please. I want to know what people think. It's important to me.

**Dakari: The Real Story**

**Chapter One: Meeting Bastila and the Destruction of Taris**

She saw the Jedi for the first time, standing limply in the cage. The guard told her about the neural disrupter, and she could see its effects in the woman's unsteady balance and dull, colorless eyes.

'I will save you,' she thought, heading for the desk. Something about the woman drew her like a tractor field, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she'd give her life to save the Jedi's. She pushed herself and the prototype accelerator to their limits, winning the race with an unprecedented time. When she went to claim her 'prize,' Brejik called her and the Hidden Beks cheaters due to the accelerator. When he attempted to withdraw his share of the winnings, Bastila suddenly looked up.

"I may have something to say about that, Brejik."

She watched as the beautiful Jedi stunned her guard, opening her cage and stealing his fallen weapon.

"What? Impossible! You were restrained by a neural disrupter! How could you have possibly summoned the strength to free yourself?"

Bastila's eyebrow rose as she slipped into a comfortable fighting stance.

"You underestimate the strength of a Jedi's mind, Brejik- a mistake you won't live to regret!"

The scout wondered if all Jedi were so violent. She had heard they were peaceful and reasonable, but this incredible woman was obviously aching for a fight. In the brief seconds before Brejik thought to respond, she admired the woman she had set out to rescue. Jedi or not, she was absolutely beautiful with her eyes flashing and her hands wrapped around a weapon like that.

"Vulkars - to me! Kill this woman! Kill the swoop rider! Kill them all!"

They fought together as if they had always done so, their strokes, her with twin vibroblades, Bastila with the double bladed weapon, were quick, hitting each enemy until they fell, and moving on to the next. Brejik and his guards were quickly eliminated. Suddenly sharp purple-gray eyes froze her in place, the personality behind them stunning her.

"Well, maybe those bloody Vulkars will think twice before they try to keep a Jedi prisoner! And as for you, if you think you can collect me as a prize... Wait... I don't believe this! You're... you're one of the soldiers with the Republic fleet, aren't you? Yes, I'm almost sure of it. How did you end up racing for these swoop gangs?" Bastila asked, her expression going from fierce and angry to startled curiosity, and something else she couldn't quite read.

She blinked, managing to avoid stuttering as she answered. "My name is Alriah Dakari."

For a brief instant, she felt her voice threatening to give away everything, but she mastered herself with an effort.

"I'm here to save you."

"Save me? Is that what you were trying to accomplish by riding in that swoop race? Well as far as rescues go this is a pretty poor example. In case you hadn't noticed, I managed to free myself from that neural restraint collar without your help. In fact, it's more accurate to say that I saved you! Brejik and his Vulkars would have left you for dead if I hadn't stepped into that fight. You're lucky I was here to get you out of this mess!"

Bastila's words rankled, but her tone was worse. She was completely overconfident, self absorbed, and critical, but despite all that, she was still hopelessly attracted to the woman. Nonetheless, Alriah's temper rose, her pride rejecting the idea.

"I think you've got things confused. You were a helpless prisoner until I came along!"

"I may have been a prisoner, but a Jedi is never helpless. Maybe you've heard of a little thing called 'the Force'? But I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on you. You did try to save me after all, even if it didn't go quite as planned. So let's get down to business - we're not out of danger yet. If I'm going to figure out a way for us to get off this planet I need to know what kind of resources we can draw on. First, are we the only two survivors left from the Endar Spire?"

Alriah sighed. This was getting them nowhere, and she couldn't risk exposing her emotions to the Jedi.

"Carth and I are already working on a plan to get off Taris."

Bastila's purple-gray eyes brightened slightly, and the scout sighed to herself. The Jedi's attitude grated, but she knew better than to show it.

"Carth Onasi is alive? Finally, some good news. Carth is one of the Republic's best soldiers. He's proved himself a hero a dozen times over! And he sent you here to save me? Maybe I misjudged you. Carth wouldn't have sent you if he wasn't confident in your... abilities. Forgive me - despite my Jedi training, I still tend to act a bit rashly sometimes. Please, take me to Carth right away. Between the three of us I'm sure we can figure out some way to get off this planet before the Sith realize we're here."

Her words mollified Alriah somewhat, and she led the way out, taking a moment to look through what Brejik was carrying, surprised to find a double-bladed lightsaber among his possessions.

"Is this yours?"

"My lightsaber!"

Alriah handed it over, raising a dark eyebrow and tilting her head.

"Brejik had it. I assume that had something to do with you being captured."

Bastila just glared at her, and she shook her head. She knew the woman was a Jedi, and on that basis alone she didn't stand a chance, but she could at least be more polite. Alriah had just risked her own life to save Bastila's, and had yet to even get a thank you. The other people she had helped on Taris had at least done that much.

'I hope all the Jedi aren't like her. One is enough.'

As they walked, something odd happened. A vision suddenly flashed through her mind of a caped and masked Dark Jedi facing off against none other than Bastila herself. She kept walking, but couldn't get her mind off the images. They had seemed so familiar somehow, but at the same time, strange.

'This isn't the time to deal with this, but I think I'll have to talk to her about it later.'

When they got back to the apartment, the exuberant Carth greeted them. She sighed at seeing the man. She didn't like him very much. He was frustratingly stubborn at times, and at others a bit of a flirt, and a rather bad one at that. He was always preaching about something, and she had learned to just go with it. She was interested in his past, if only because he was a hero of the Republic, but getting it out of him was like pulling Bantha teeth.

"Bastila - you're alive! Finally things are looking up. Now we just need to figure out a way to get off this planet."

Alriah sighed again when Bastila glared at the soldier too. She was getting fed up with that haughty, critical expression of hers.

"You mean you don't have a plan to get off Taris yet? What have you been doing all this time?"

The scout shook her head, feeling her short black ponytail brush her neck, the touch steadying her, making her feel slightly more grounded. At least she wasn't the only one the woman snapped at. She idly wondered if Bastila ever snapped like that in front of her Jedi masters, and doubted it.

"We were trying to find you, remember? Don't worry, we'll figure something out."

"I see. Now that I'm back in charge of this mission, perhaps we can start doing things properly. Hopefully our escape from Taris will go more smoothly than when you "rescued" me from Brejik."

She found that offensive, and apparently her 'partner' did too. Carth straightened, his eyes narrowing, his face darkening. Privately, she was amused by the way he puffed himself up, and sincerely doubted the Jedi was all that impressed by it. It might make her more bearable, but... she didn't want Bastila to be impressed too much by Carth.

"I know you're new at this, Bastila, but a leader doesn't berate her troops just because things aren't going as planned. Don't let your ego get in the way of the real issues here."

'Wait, when did she become our leader? The ego and berating parts are right, but she doesn't have the right to think she's suddenly in command after being out of the loop the way she was. They both seem to take it for granted that she's suddenly in charge. She may be beautiful, powerful, and intelligent, but she's not a leader,' she thought. It was true. Though she had no memory of being a leader herself, she knew she would never act the way Bastila was with anyone under her command. It was better to prove one's self to her troops than assume that she was in command. She could also tell that Bastila was one who, while headstrong and proud, could take orders and help in a chaotic situation, but couldn't control a situation and could easily find herself in over her head.

"That hardly strikes me as an appropriate way of addressing your commander, Carth. I am a member of the Jedi Order and this is my mission. Don't forget that! My Battle Meditation ability has helped the Republic many times in this war, and it will serve us well here I am sure."

"Your talents might win us a few battles, but that doesn't make you a good leader. A good leader would at least listen to the advice of those who have seen more combat than she ever will!"

Slightly annoyed by the argument she could sense brewing, she stepped between the two, holding up her hands for silence. She may have agreed with Carth, but that didn't mean she was going to let their bickering go on and on. She'd rather get away from the Jedi before her emotions became uncontrollable, and the sooner they got off Taris, the better.

"Both of you settle down! This isn't helping."

To her surprise, Bastila flushed, not in anger, but with something like shame and embarrassment, which only made her all the more charming to look at. The woman sighed, and she smiled to herself at see a crack in the rather cold outer appearance she'd been fighting through.

'She could be a genuinely sweet person if she'd just relax a little.'

"Yes... you're right, of course. I apologize, Carth. This has been a difficult time for me. Of course I'm happy to listen to your advice. What do you suggest we do?"

Carth smiled, letting out a breath, which deflated his chest somewhat. It amused Alriah a great deal to see this clear image of him as a bag of hot air, which is what he seemed to be at times. He may have been an excellent soldier, but he wasn't much of a people person.

"First off we can't get hung up on who's in charge; we all need to work together if we want to get off this rock. The answer's out there, we just have to find it."

Her eyebrow crawled a little higher than it had been. To hear something so sensible and reasonable from Carth was truly amazing. Bastila seemed impressed too, but the dark haired scout wished she could find some way to make a good impression on the Jedi too.

"Well said, Carth. And the sooner we start looking the better; I've already been a prisoner of the Vulkars and I don't plan on being captured by the Sith."

Dark eyes flashed, and Bastila looked at her in surprise at the sudden flare of her emotions, the first she'd given away since their initial meeting. She would NOT allow the beautiful woman to be taken again while she still drew breath. She would protect the Jedi, even if it meant her life. She would take on anyone, the Dark Lord of the Sith included, if it meant Bastila was safe.

"Don't worry. I won't let that happen."

The purple-gray eyes widened and warmed for a split second, and in that instant, she saw a myriad of emotions that were gone before she could identify them. The beautiful face closed down, becoming a hard mask.

"I think we'll need some help getting off Taris. Maybe if we ask around one of the locals can help us out. We should probably start by asking around in the cantinas," she said firmly, looking away from the dark-haired woman.

Alriah sighed. She'd given too much away. Despite that, she had some hope that she still had a chance to reach the Jedi, if she'd only let her. Putting her thoughts aside for the moment, though, she approached the other woman, doing the best she could to shield her emotions. There were other matters she needed to attend to.

"Is something wrong?" the Jedi asked as she approached, "You seem as if there's something troubling you."

She sighed. Yes, she was troubled by the vision, or whatever it was, that she'd had, but... did she really want to broach the subject? Bastila may or may not answer, and there was something inside her that didn't want to know. Still, it bothered her, and she decided to at least try to get some answers.

"Something weird happened when we first met. Like a vision."

The purple-gray eyes widened, and she saw a flash of fear cross the masked features, but it was gone as soon as she blinked. She tilted her head, wondering what could have caused that, but didn't get the chance to ask.

"A vision? A vision of what?"

The tone of the question confused her. On the one hand, Bastila sounded intense, almost... frightened... but on the other, she sounded... hopeful, eager even. As she answered, Alriah watched the other woman's eyes, looking for answers.

"Of you. Fighting a dark Jedi," she said slowly, thinking about it. She thought back to the robes the dark one had worn, trying to ignore that strange sense of deja vu. "Revan, I guess," she finished, remembering hearing that Bastila had fought Revan. The purple eyes widened, and again she caught a glimpse of that excited fear before it was hidden again.

"This is... strange. Such visions are often a sign of Force sensitivity."

The answer gave away nothing, but the Jedi's body language betrayed more than she probably realized. The way her eyes shied away from Alriah's said much, as did the sudden tense energy about her.

"Force sensitivity? What do you mean?" she asked softly, studying Bastila's response, aware that wherever this line of conversation was going, the woman was scared.

" I... I'm not sure. It may be that you have some connection to the Force. It would not be unheard of. When we first met, your natural talent may have fed off my own Force abilities. It is possible that in the excitement of the battle's aftermath the Force allowed you to witness one of my more intense memories."

Alriah frowned. She knew it wasn't that simple, and Force sensitivity or no, she could sense that Bastila was lying, or at least withholding something important. Without something more concrete, however, she couldn't exactly confront the woman, so instead she decided to dig a little more.

"This isn't the first time I've had a vision."

The stark statement got the response she expected, and it worried her. Bastila's eyes widened, and for just a moment, her face flushed, and she could very clearly feel the other woman's terror. What she couldn't understand was what could possibly cause that reaction.

"The Force is complicated," Bastila said slowly, apparently oblivious to the other woman's intense focus on her, or how blatant her emotions had been a moment before. "Even I with all my training cannot fully understand it yet," she continued, "This is a matter best left to the wise Masters of the Jedi Council. Once we escape Taris we can seek the guidance of the Council, if you wish. They will understand the significance of your vision... if there is any. However, I think it would be best if we all stayed focused on the task at hand right now. We can't afford any distractions; we need to find a way off Taris."

Alriah knew that was the end of the conversation, for the moment, anyway, so she turned away, using the workbench to upgrade her armor and vibroblades, along with Mission's. She took some time to talk to Mission about her brother, finding herself both bemused and concerned about the way the young woman defended the man who had apparently all but abandoned her. She decided to wait to hear what had happened with the woman named Lena, but it sounded as if Griff wasn't the most... reliable sort. She also spent a short time talking to Carth and Malabar about Taris, all the while trying to ignore her intense awareness of Bastila's presence and the way she was watching her. Finally, unable to ignore the feeling that the Jedi wanted something, she turned and strode back to her corner of the room.

"How can I help?" Bastila asked as she approached. Alriah smiled slightly, which seemed to confuse Bastila, but she decided that Bastila found her confusing and discomforting anyway. In many ways that bothered her, but it also pleased her to some degree that she wasn't alone in feeling that way.

"You want to talk to me about something?" she asked softly, finding herself needing to hold back from touching the other woman to try to put her at ease. By nature she wasn't the most tactile person, but sometimes a comforting touch was just what was needed to put someone at ease. She knew better then to cross that boundary, though, especially now when Bastila was looking at her in that strange way again.

"I would like to know what happened after you crashed on Taris. I'm curious as to what you and Carth were doing before we all joined forces," the Jedi answered slowly, her eyebrow raised.

"Before we rescued you, you mean," she answered, half-teasing and half-serious. She hadn't managed to erase the image of Bastila standing weakly under the effects of the neural disrupter collar from her mind. She had no doubt that if she hadn't come, Bastila would have been sold or worse.

" I managed to free myself, as I recall. In fact, if I hadn't been there Brejik and his thugs might have killed you in that fight. It's probably more accurate to say that I rescued you," Bastila answered sharply, apparently feeling that she was being mocked. Alriah just shook her head, torn between laughing and shaking the stubborn woman. Or simply kissing her. That was in there too, somewhere.

"Can't you just admit that you were rescued?" she asked, wondering what it was in this woman that refused to admit that she needed another's help. Once again she wondered if Bastila acted this way with her fellow Jedi and doubted it.

"I'll admit that I probably wouldn't have been able to free myself if not for the brawl after the swoop race. I guess I should thank you for that, at least."

Alriah sighed inwardly, realizing that that might be all she'd get out of the woman. Still, she was determined to at least chip away at that arrogant armor and see what was inside. She listened as Bastila went on, obviously trying to steer her away from the subject of rescue.

"Actually, your presence at the swoop track is what I'm curious about. It couldn't have been an easy task to find me there. Yet somehow you managed. You also avoided detection by the Sith, discovered I was a Vulkar prisoner, gained sponsorship for the race and became the Taris swoop champion. That's quite a resume."

"And rescued the damsel in distress. Don't forget that."

At Bastila's glare, she laughed to herself, keeping her emotions tightly under guard so they wouldn't be evident to the Jedi.

"Yes... well. I hardly consider myself a damsel in distress. I'm a member of the Jedi Order, after all. But I won't deny you've impressed me with what you've done."

Deciding to let the rescue thing go for the moment, pleased enough by the admission and the genuine emotion behind it, she replied, "I had a lot of help: Carth, Mission, Zaalbar."

That seemed to take Bastila by surprise. She obviously hadn't been expecting her to say that. She probably assumed she'd say something less... rational.

"Your modesty is admirable. But though others helped, you were the catalyst for these events. When you were chosen to join this mission, I doubt any of us expected this much from you. A Jedi could have done such things, of course. But only by drawing heavily upon the Force."

She tried to ignore the obvious prejudice in that statement. It didn't work.

"I think you're underestimating us non-Jedi," she commented, and then went on before Bastila could reply, seeing that she was readying herself for an argument, "Are you saying I can control the Force?"

"The Force is in all of us, though for most people it is a barely measurable whisper. But there are some individuals outside the Jedi Order that we considered 'Force sensitive'. It's obvious to me that the Force has been working through you. There is no other explanation for your great success, though I am not certain what to make of this discovery. Perhaps if you weren't - well, if you were younger the Jedi might take you for training. But as it is..."

As Bastila had started talking, Alriah had been annoyed with her, but as she continued, she realized that the other woman was speaking almost against her will, and again there was that strange combination of fear and excited, eager hopefulness. She actually found herself more concerned for Bastila then upset with her. There was obviously something going on under the surface, something that Bastila wanted to happen that she didn't dare dream would, but... there was no way to know what it was.

"Be glad I'm Force sensitive, or I couldn't have rescued you," she said teasingly, deciding it was better to risk annoying the woman than let her dwell on whatever it was that haunted her. She got the response she had half-hoped for when Bastila raised an eyebrow, her purple eyes becoming almost transparent. This fascinated her. Most people's eyes darkened, but Bastila's just got lighter.

"Ah, yes, the rescue again. Very well. For what it's worth, I concede the point to you: you rescued me from Brejik. And yet we're still stuck here on Taris," she said, sounding sarcastic, resigned, annoyed, smug, and bemused all at once, though Alriah thought there might be just a trace of admiration in there somewhere as she continued, "Hopefully between your abilities, my Jedi training and the skills of our companions we can find a way off this planet."

Once again she knew she was being dismissed, but this time she found herself wanting to smile. She caught herself, knowing that Bastila would wonder why she was smiling and ask about it, and that wasn't a conversation she was willing to have. Instead, she gestured for Carth and Bastila to accompany her out the door and into the main building. She wasn't surprised in the least when the Twi'lek who ran the kiosk told her Canderous was waiting. She'd run into the Mandalorian too many times to think he wouldn't be important to their cause. Knowing that it was likely that whatever Canderous wanted would fit into her plans anyway, she stopped by the shop on the way into the Cantina for supplies, and as they were leaving, Carth turned to Bastila, a curious look on his face.

"Bastila, I was wondering something. How did those Vulkars manage to capture a famous Jedi like you? Were you knocked out when your escape pod crashed?"

Bastila frowned irritably, but Alriah had a feeling that she might have more cause than usual to not want to answer that question, and found herself mildly annoyed with Carth for asking. She considered intervening, but curiosity won out for the moment.

"No, I was conscious," Bastila answered slowly, her eyes, interestingly enough, flicking to her for a moment, "But my Force powers were exhausted from using my Battle Meditation in the battle for the Endar Spire. Without my help you might never have gotten off the ship alive.

Alriah noticed that this point seemed very important to her, and thought she understood why. Whatever had happened embarrassed Bastila, and she wanted it very clear that she had been handicapped by doing something important to their survival. Carth seemed to understand this, at least to some degree, but he still pressed the issue.

"Fair enough. But I've seen you Jedi in action. There's no way those thugs would have stood a chance against your lightsaber."

This got her attention immediately, and she was almost sure she knew what had happened. Dark eyes closed for a moment, and in one of those moments that seemed to be coming more frequently, she knew what was coming.

"My lightsaber was... misplaced," the Jedi replied coldly, once again glancing at her, obviously surprised to see warmth and understanding in her expression, "I couldn't find it after the crash. I looked everywhere in that pod. The Vulkars came and overwhelmed me even as I was searching for my weapon."

"Wait a minute, let me get this straight. You lost your lightsaber?" Carth asked, laughing, apparently oblivious to the glare he was getting from the raven-haired scout, "I mean, isn't that a violation of some kind of Jedi code or something?"

"Leave her alone, Carth," Alriah said sharply, her voice cutting through his mirth with the same razor intensity as her sword as Bastila flushed, trying to appear cold and collected but obviously feeling humiliated. When the other woman looked at her, the scout was looking at her with sad, understanding eyes, and Bastila was once again confused. Once again, though, Carth couldn't contain his mirth and chuckled, drawing the Jedi's attention, and her wrath.

"This is no laughing matter! During the crash my lightsaber mush have... it must have fallen from my belt and rolled under my seat! The Vulkars probably found it there when they searched the wreckage."

Carth, finally realizing that he was laughing at a proud, irate woman with Force Powers and a lightsaber while an exceptionally dangerous and apparently annoyed scout glared at him warningly, held up his hands and shook his head, finding himself more afraid of the quiet, cold menace that radiated from Alriah Dakari than any threat from Bastila, Force powers and lightsaber included.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't get mad. I'm sorry. It's just funny to think of a legendary Jedi losing her lightsaber. Take my advice: this is one detail you might want to keep out of the history texts."

Bastila seemed to almost not hear him. She had picked up on the cold, tightly controlled anger that Alriah had been directing at Carth, and was looking at the other woman with an expression that once again touched on fear, excitement, and something else all together.

"I hardly consider myself a legend, Carth," she responded absently, shaking her head to keep from staring into dark eyes that held depths she couldn't begin to fathom, despite her abilities and knowledge, and focused on what she was saying, "Though I will consider your advice when I relate these events to the Jedi Council. There is no need for them to know every detail of what transpired."

That seemed to settle the matter for everyone involved, although Alriah could sense both Carth and Bastila watching her, Carth with obvious fear, concern, and attraction, Bastila with poorly veiled interest, appreciation, and something that could have been fear, or it might not have been. She wasn't sure. Despite the strength and obvious displays of the Jedi's emotions, in some ways she was still a very hard read. Obviously, she had absorbed some of her Jedi training, though not all of it. It seemed to be selective. There was something that Bastila felt she had to protect above all else, even if it meant losing control over some other things. The thought interested her, but she had to put the thought aside as they went into the Cantina. As they talked with the mercenary, she realized it was exactly what she'd expected. They would get the codes from the Sith base to get through the blockade, and he would help them get a ship. She glanced at Bastila over her shoulder, surprised to see an expression on her face that could have been sorrow.

"I don't sense any deception from him, which is surprising. This may be exactly what we need," she commented softly. Alriah frowned inwardly. Bastila seemed upset about something, and she doubted it was the lightsaber issue. She kept an eye on her as they found Janice Nall's droid shop and bought T3-M4, and as they hacked into the Sith base, bribing the desk clerk and fought the Sith troops. She was amazed and pleased once again to find that she and Bastila fought in near-perfect sync, as if they'd always fought together. As they approached the elevator, Bastila hesitated for a moment, and she turned, curious. The younger woman didn't say anything, just strode into the elevator after giving her a long, searching look.

"What was that all about?" she muttered, out of the hearing range of the other two. She followed them into the elevator, which took them to the Governor's office. As it turned out, he was a Dark Jedi apprentice who had yet to earn his lightsaber. Alriah found him to be somewhat pathetic. He was undisciplined, angry, and thought he was the master of the world when instead all she saw was a frightened child. As he fell at their feet, she sighed, looking down at him. Sorrow and regret filled her. She'd tried to give him a chance. She felt so alone... She'd tried...

_I know._

She lifted her head, looking at Bastila. She seemed startled, but didn't say anything. The voice that had spoken, that she'd found so soothing, so reassuring, had not been Carth's. She was sure of that. She had no proof, however, that it had been Bastila. Except, of course, for the fact that she'd felt exactly that the one time Bastila had touched her, though it had been an accidental brush, she'd felt almost the same thing, though to a lesser degree.

_Don't be frightened. Don't feel alone. I'm here. I'll always be here._

She sighed, feeling the words like a touch, and could almost feel a gentle hand stroking her hair, her face. The pain faded, and though it didn't leave, it was bearable. She felt something in her, as if there was something else inside her, something that wasn't her, but wasn't unwelcome, either.

_I've been here since then._

Before she could respond, the presence faded. Just as she would have grieved for the loss, she realized it was still there, just not so close. But it was in reach, if she needed it. Deciding that she didn't need to understand it yet, as it didn't feel remotely evil. It felt... strong, warm... and loving.

"Then?" she whispered, and then shook her head. It was all right. She could wait for the answers. Turning back to her companions, she gave Bastila a long look. On the off chance that the voice had come from Bastila, it wasn't the woman she'd seen thus far. But then, she already knew that the Bastila she'd seen wasn't the real woman. The fear in her eyes made her wonder, too. Bastila was frightened. She half-smiled at the Jedi, and oddly enough, that seemed to scare her more. She hid it, but Alriah had seen it. Bastila watched her fearfully as they went back to the apartment, and she could tell that the woman was expecting... something from her. That same expression haunted her as she took Mission and Bastila with her down to the Lower City, heading for the Cantina. That was, of course, until Mission decided to speak up.

"Hey, Bastila. You ever just use the Force for fun? You know, a little jolt of the Force to trip some jerk who's ticking you off?"

If Bastila had been a kath hound, the fur would have stood up all over her body. She turned, her eyes blazing. Amusingly enough, Bastila reminded her of Carth in that moment, only much more beautiful, and much more indignant.

"I would never use the Force for such a petty and trivial revenge! The mere thought of it is preposterous!"

"Ah, come on. There's got to be times when you've thought about it. Don't be so stuck up - you can tell me."

Alriah watched the interaction with interest. Mission was being her typical teenage self, thinking she was all grown up and sharing secrets with the adults. But it didn't work that way. Mission wasn't an adult, and Bastila... well, she was Bastila.

"I am not stuck up," the Jedi replied sharply, sounding exactly that, "I merely have the years of training to give me the wisdom and understanding to see how childish such an act would be."

If they were capable of it, Alriah would have expected Missions blue and black headtails to stand on end, and she stood back, waiting for the inevitable tantrum.

"Childish?" And there it was. "Is that a crack about my age? You ain't much older than me, miss high and mighty! Just 'cause you're some Jedi doesn't mean you can be a prissy little..."

Mission suddenly found her feet up in the air, and hit the metal flooring hard on her back. Alriah just shook her head as Mission jumped back up

"What the -?? Hey, that wasn't funny!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mission. Come now, we have to get going. Please do try to be less clumsy in the future."

Alriah was impressed. Bastila did a very good impression of smug innocence. She sighed, and sent Mission back to the apartment as they approached Javyar's Cantina and spoke with Canderous. The last thing she needed was a pissed off teenager while she dealt with a Mandalorian. As Canderous laid out his plan, Bastila became more and more agitated.

"This is too risky. We should find another way."

Canderous gave some sarcastic response she didn't listen to, instead focusing on Bastila's reply.

"No, I... don't have another plan. I would rather not place my life in _your_ hands, however."

That was interesting. As Bastila said that, she had been looking at Canderous, but as she finished, she was looking at her. Did that mean Bastila would place her life in her hands? It certainly seemed to be exactly what she was doing. As they traveled to the estate, Bastila sat near her, and far from Canderous. They weren't touching, but at no point was the Jedi so far that Alriah couldn't feel the heat of her body radiating from her. Considering the way Bastila had been avoiding being near her in the beginning, this interested her, but she wasn't going to question it. She kept an eye on Bastila all the while she was talking to Davik, aware the other woman was watching her and trying to hide it. With a mental shrug, she just continued to speak and act as she always did. After Davik left and they started to explore the estate, Canderous stopped them, just as Carth had at one point, and she knew what to expect, bracing herself for it. Canderous was less annoying than Carth, but they certainly had some things in common. Like their temper, their pride, and their need to be superior to the superior Jedi in some way.

"So, Bastila, I heard a rumor that the Vulkars captured you without much of a struggle. It must be embarrassing to be bested by a handful of street thugs."

Alriah sighed, trying to decide whether or not to intervene. Bastila may have been arrogant, stuck up, proud, and stodgy, but she still didn't deserve to be attacked like she had been.

"There were extenuating circumstances. And I can assure you it took far more than a handful of Vulkars to subdue me."

"Okay, let's not get into this," she interjected, seeing how, under the surface, the Jedi was hurt by the repeated mentions of the incident. She was covering it with stubborn pride, and she was legitimately angry. But of course, Canderous wasn't going to listen to her.

"Whatever you say. All I know is that if we had more Jedi like Bastila fighting against us in the Mandalorian wars, my side might not have lost."

"Bold talk from a broken-down mercenary who was serving at Davik's heel. I'd call you his pet kath hound, but they have enough loyalty not to turn on their masters."

"Insults? Maybe if your Master had trained your lightsaber to be as quick as your tongue you could have escaped those Vulkars, you spoiled little Jedi princess!"

"I was not spoiled! I was given the same training as everyone else in the Order! You are nothing but a... no. I must not do this. There is no emotion; there is peace.

"That's the problem with you Jedi," Canderous scoffed "Always chanting about peace and control, never up for a good fight. Well, except for Revan, I guess."

That struck home. For a split second, Alriah could almost physically feel the impact of the words. That was strange. There was no logical reason that should have thrown her so badly, unless... she had something to do with Revan. If she trusted her vision, Bastila had fought Revan. It was entirely possible she had been traumatized it, or there was something else, something that she'd suppressed or fought since then.

"Enough, Mandalorian," she said coldly, "I won't rise to your bait any more. The game is over. Let us continue on with what we were doing."

Even Canderous had to back off from that cold tone. Even a blind, deaf-mute could have felt the cold wave that spread from her. Alriah felt it run through her and stepped forward, one hand "accidentally" pressing against Bastila's. The younger woman seemed to slowly relax as Alriah calmed her own mind. The calm seemed to surround them both, and the cold around Bastila diminished. As they went on, getting the codes for the hanger, fighting Davik, and fighting their way through debris as the Sith bombed the planet, she continued to reach out for Bastila every time she felt her getting too upset. She also found that the times Bastila got upset coincided with something else, like the Sith bombardment, which she thought meant the Jedi sensed the pending events, which helped her determine when they were in the most danger. Before they could reach the Ebon Hawk, though, a huge piece of debris fell from the ceiling, right down on Bastila. She saw the Jedi strain to either get out of the way or use her Force powers, but it was just too big.

"Bastila!" She leapt forward, grabbing the woman and pulling her close, wrapping both arms around her and diving to the floor, using her body to cushion the Jedi's smaller form, then rolling to protect her from the falling debris. She used the momentum to roll back to her feet and keep running, ignoring the pain and keeping Bastila close. She could feel the woman's surprise and concern, but there was no time. When they finally got to the ship's ramp, Carth ran to the bridge immediately while she and Bastila moved more slowly, knowing there was nothing they could do at the moment but gather themselves for whatever was coming next.

"Bastila, are you hurt?" she asked softly once they got out of Canderous's hearing range. The Jedi shook her head slowly, looking at her closely, her eyes a confused maelstrom of emotion.

"Why... why did you... you saved my life. You could have been killed by that debris."

That surprised her. She hadn't expected Bastila to admit that so readily, nor was she going to push the issue.

"It was nothing. I just... didn't want you to get hurt."

Bastila frowned slightly, looking down at the deck.

"Because it's your mission to protect me for the war effort," she said, her voice flat.

"No," she answered, aware that an answer wasn't expected. She could have just left it at that, but she suddenly felt it very important that Bastila know that she wasn't just a mission to her, just a chore or duty, "no, Bastila, that's not it. For Carth, that might be enough, but not for me."

Bastila looked up, confused and unsure.

"What do you mean by that?"

Alriah shrugged slightly, having some trouble meeting Bastila's clear purple eyes but not sure why.

"I'm a scout, Bastila. Soldiers do their duty and that's enough for them. Me... I have to have a reason beyond that. I care about you. I don't want to see anything happen to you. Not because of duty, or because you're a Jedi, but because of who you are as a person. So don't worry, Bastila, you don't owe me anything. All I ask of you is that you take care of yourself."

"Alriah," Bastila whispered, clearly touched and more than a little surprised by her honesty. Alriah smiled faintly, pushing her dark hair out of her face.

"Come on. We should almost be to the apartment if we're not there already."

As they picked up their companions, Bastila took a place on the bridge, along with Carth. She stood behind Bastila's chair, leaning over her, getting another of those odd sensations. This one told her that Bastila wanted her close and took comfort in her presence.

"Plot a course for Dantooine! There's a Jedi enclave there where we can find refuge!" Bastila called over to Carth, inputting a set of coordinates.

"Incoming fighters!" he cried, scanning the radar.

Bastila turned to her, reaching up with one hand, which landed, possibly accidentally, but probably not, on her own. The woman was pale and obviously shaken, her eyes seeming to hold the weight of a world's tragedy in them, Alriah herself felt weighed down, as if millions upon millions of souls were crowding against her, crying for her to save them. She shook her head, feeling a rush of understanding from the Jedi, but there was no time to deal with that now, though with the understanding came the support they both needed to deal with the weight of all those souls.

"Quickly, to the gun turrets! You have to hold the Sith fighters off until we get those hyperspace coordinates punched in."

She nodded and ran down the trembling corridors to the turrets, balancing herself without even thinking about it. The shaking of a ship under fire was nothing new to her muscles. She found a certain level of familiarity and comfort in it actually, as if she'd always lived on ships under fire and the relative stability of a planet was almost foreign to her. As she climbed into the gunner's seat, she took the controls with ease, no thought required to track and destroy the drone fighters. Instead, she thought about Bastila. She was sure she was imagining that she could still feel Bastila's hand on her own, but it seemed so real that she almost looked around for the woman. Her order to come here had been abrupt but not unkind or uncaring. Actually, she had noticed a certain hesitation to the order, and the scout wondered if perhaps the Jedi hadn't wanted her to leave, but that was ridiculous. Wasn't it?

"I'm delusional," she muttered to herself, destroying the last of the fighters. She double-checked her scanners to be sure, then ran down to the bridge, just as they entered hyperspace. She almost lost her balance at the sudden shift, but she suddenly found herself braced and saw the Jedi looking at her intently, a slight strain showing on her face.

'Bastila...'

She reached forward and took hold of Bastila's chair, bracing herself against it and lightly squeezing her shoulder in thanks. For just a moment, Bastila looked immensely relieved as she got herself settled safely into one of the bridge chairs, and she wondered what that was about. She sighed to herself as they got settled into hyperspace, suddenly exhausted beyond words. Something nagged at her, but she didn't have the energy to figure out what it was. Now that the adrenaline was gone, her wounds made themselves known, and they hurt. She rose when she was sure there weren't going to be any more crises for now and walked slowly to the dormitory Mission wasn't in. She didn't have the energy to deal with anyone right now. Something inside her mind was pressing to get out, and it was taking what little strength she had to hold it back. The effort was making her head pound painfully, adding to the already long list of pains and aches. She flopped gracelessly onto a bed, trying to find a reasonably comfortable position for her weary, injured body and not succeeding.

"Are you alright?" a soft voice asked, and she smiled faintly, not bothering to open her eyes. She knew that voice, that presence, though there was more warmth and care in it than she'd noticed so far.

"I'm well enough, Bastila. I'm still alive, after all."

She heard the other woman moving and decided that opening her eyes might just be worthwhile. She found the Jedi kneeling at her side, one hand on the bed, the other bracing her weight on the deck. Her expression was genuinely concerned, the warm regard taking away some of the feelings of loneliness and isolation that she'd been experiencing.

"You're hurt."

"Yes, but I'll live."

"That is not enough."

That got her attention. She actually lifted her head to get a better look at the other woman. Bastila herself seemed rather startled, but she shook her head slightly, sighing to herself.

"What isn't enough?"

"Living. It's good that you'll live, Alriah, but you're hurt. There's no need for you to suffer, is there?"

Alriah smiled a little at that, relaxing back onto the pillow while still keeping an eye on the Jedi.

"I'll be all right."

"Why don't you use a medpac at the least," Bastila asked, clearly prepared to press the issue.

"Because we don't have that many left. Carth used more than I anticipated. He really needs to do better in close-range combat, or do a better job of staying back. The advanced pacs are especially low, and I still haven't seen any place we can buy more than a few at a time. We don't know when we'll need them in bulk or when we'll be able to get more."

Bastila shook her head, looking at her almost affectionately.

"But I... we... will definitely need you, preferably in good health. Who else will keep Carth from getting killed? Or... or me?"

The scout's dark eyebrow rose at the admission and she smiled slightly.

"I'll be okay with some rest, Bastila. But... thank you."

Bastila looked at her for a long time, then slowly sat down beside her on the bed, looking uncertain and uncomfortable, but still she stayed where she was.

"How is that good enough for you? You must be in quite a bit of pain... I don't know that I would be so strong."

Alriah smiled, hiding her surprise that the other woman was being so open with her.

"I don't know, Bastila. I imagine I'm just used to it. Don't worry too much about me. I'm rather difficult to kill."

At that Bastila's expression became a mask of pain and regret, and her voice was a mere whisper.

"I know."

Before the scout could think of anything to say in the face of the agony Bastila radiated, the Jedi reached out, her cool hand against a cheek that had become almost feverishly warm. She felt the cool rush she always did when Bastila used the Force, then the wash of calming light that was her healing power. It didn't heal all her wounds, but it made her far more comfortable, the pain reduced to a much more bearable level. Again she felt the Force wash over her, and she looked into Bastila's eyes, seeing a strange distance there as if she were both there and somewhere else.

"Bastila..."

Those clear purple-gray eyes met hers, relief showing finally as Alriah's wounds closed.

"You didn't have to do that," the scout said softly, watching those eyes focus on her with evident relief.

"Yes I did. You wouldn't do any less for me."

That was true, but she hadn't expected her to say that, of all things.

"No, but..."

Bastila shook her head, gently brushing black hair out of her face.

"Rest, Alriah."

She would have protested, but she could feel the Force flowing her through her, relaxing her muscles and her mind until she couldn't help but fall back onto the bed. Her eyes started to close, and she struggled to remain awake, wanting to say something to Bastila but not quite sure what.

"Thank you," she managed, struggling to keep from slurring her words, "you rest... you need to rest too..."

Bastila smiled down at her, stroking her cheek once before rising.

"Don't worry about me right now. You do that enough anyway."

"It's never enough," she murmured, surrendering at last the pull of sleep. Just as the last vestiges of her consciousness faded, she felt something soft brush her lips, but had no way to tell if it was a dream or reality. The last thought she had was how glad she was that Bastila had come to check on her.


	2. Interlude: The Ghosts Left Behind

Disclaimers: I don't own the rights to KotOR. Don't sue. I'm broke anyway.

So. Those who know my writing must think I'm insane. Well, I am. Two new stories and two new chapters to my other stories, all in the course of a short time, and now this? Well, what can I say? I missed writing, and I had started these stories a while back, and always wanted to do something with them. 

This is one of those big fade-to-black interludes where a lot of time must pass and there's nothing shown in the game that irritate me so much. I wanted to do something with it. Sorry if it sucks, but the character is always seen having nightmares, but it seems to me that her visions don't quite warrant the level of strain that is shown. On top of that, she's never really shown dealing with all the crap that keeps happening to her and everyone around her, so... being the obsessive-compulsive person that I am, well, here we are. 

By the way, the official description for the sound of lightsabers meeting in combat is a "smacking hiss." Don't ask me why. I asked a former Lucasfilm employee, and he double and triple checked it. So it is what it is.

Anyway, read and review, and while we're on the subject, thank you to all those who have reviewed so far, especially the person who informed me of that patch. You know who you are. It's very much appreciated. Anyway, it's all the more important for me to have as much feedback as possible now that I have more writing to do. I appreciate reviews a great deal, and I do try to follow through on any suggestions I get. I hope you like the story.

Dakari: The Real Story Interlude: The Ghosts Left Behind

Alriah tossed and turned, trying to escape the nightmare she was trapped in. She couldn't see anything, but she could hear the sounds of battle: blaster fire, clashing blades, and the unmistakable buzz, crackle, and smacking hiss of lightsaber combat. Beyond that were explosions, the sounds of bombs exploding, of buildings falling. Above all that she could feel that same sense of screaming, crying souls pressing on her from all sides. She tried to comfort them, giving all her strength and will to give them some rest, but there was just too many. They were drowning her, consuming all that she had to give and more. Still she didn't pull back, desperate to give them rest. Somehow she knew that she was responsible for them, and she would not abandon those responsibilities.

_Enough. You were not at fault._

The voice was strong enough to break through the sounds of battle and death, and she instinctively turned toward it, her dream-vision finding a figure bathed in light at her side. 

"This was my fault, somehow..." she answered, feeling herself weakening but still not pulling away from the ravenous crowd of souls. She knew she was dying, but she didn't care. She had caused the deaths of countless others. What did it matter if her life should end? These countless souls might then be able to rest.

_Enough, dear one. Your life is worth more than that._

"More than all of them?"

_To me, yes. I will not leave you to die._

She frowned, trying to see the face of the figure, unable to put a name to what she saw. She knew the person, of that she was sure, but the name and the face kept slipping beyond her comprehension.

"Who... who are you?"

_You know me. Do not concern yourself now. You'll remember when it's time, both who you are and who I am._

"I... I do not know who I am?" she asked, confused. It sounded right, though. She didn't know who she was. The name she wore, it was not her name, or at least not the whole of it. There was something missing inside her, something both dark and brilliantly light.

_That's right. You have a choice, as you always did. But that does not matter now either. Come, let us leave this place._

"But these people... they cannot rest..."

_Come with me, my dear, and I assure you, they will rest. We will find a way._

"We... we will find it? Together?"

_Yes._

"Then I will come with you."

She could sense profound relief from the brilliant form and couldn't restrain a smile. She so wanted to reach out, but no, the other was already doing it. Before she knew what was happening, strong arms were wrapped around her, lifting her up gently. She hadn't realized she'd fallen. She could feel herself being held against a warm, protective body and then being gingerly set down on a soft, flat surface. As the warm body retreated she reached out blindly, not wanting to be alone in the darkness she found herself left in now that the sounds of battle and screams had faded. A soft hand wrapped around hers, calm flowing from that touch to the rest of her body and mind.

_You're never alone, my dearest. Look and you'll find me. If you need me, I swear to you I'll be here. Don't be afraid. Trust me._

"I trust you," Alriah whispered, laying back on her pillow, feeling a hand brush her cheek. She captured it with her free hand and brought it to her lips, smiling at the soft gasp she was rewarded with. 

_I… I am with you, dearest. Rest now._

"Stay?" she asked tiredly, her body responding to the other's loving presence.

"I'll be here, darling."

This was said aloud as a warm form settled next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist, resting a head on her shoulder. She was too tired to open her eyes, but the feel of breath on her neck and soft hair brushing her face was enough for her to know that this was the only person she's ever want this close to her.

"I love you, too."

She could feel the smile against her skin, and she could sense an endearing shyness and gratitude from the other. She thought she understood why. There were some things the presence just couldn't say yet for one reason or another. That was alright. It would come with time. For now… it was safe to rest now. She was safe.

_Rest, dearest. There is much to come. You will need your strength. _

"Just stay," she answered the voice, knowing she would be understood and too tired to say more.

_Always._


	3. A Choice Revisited and a Jedi Reborn

Disclaimers: I don't own the rights to KotOR or its characters. I make no profit from this story other than the enjoyment of my readers and myself. I have no money, so there is no use in suing me. In other words, leave me alone with my madness and save yourself a lot of bother.

So let's get back to the main story. I know that not everyone appreciates my style or my writing, and that's okay with me. Still, either way, review, please. I don't go out of my way to alienate people, especially not my readers. If I'm given a suggestion, I do the best I can to follow up on it. Still, I'm not perfect, and I've been out of the loop for a long time. I do the best I can.

Anyway, this chapter is somewhat heavy on discussion, but I thought it was important for this part of the story to be expanded on. After all, the character is about to have the course of her life changed dramatically.

Read and review, please. I'm tired, and sometimes writing is all I have to keep me sane. Reviews help too.

**Dakari: The Real Story  
**

Chapter 2: A Choice Revisited and a Jedi Reborn

Alriah floated comfortably in a warm place between waking and sleeping, feeling a little cold, but not alone. There was a lingering presence in her mind that was at once reassuring and warm, keeping the absence of a person at her side from chilling her. She could feel that presence nearby still, and a hand brushed her cheek before the footsteps retreated. She heard someone speak but was too tired to make out the words, though the volume almost jarred her out of her comfortable place. Another voice came then, lower but more intense, even somewhat angry.

"Be quiet. Alriah is exhausted. I know you want to talk to her, Carth, but you focus on piloting the ship and let her sleep."

Again came that other voice, this time sounding rather petulant. She felt another presence coming closer, and at the same time something within her mind seemed to break loose. That presence was grating and broke into the bubble of calm around her, making it all the more difficult to fight back the shard of darkness floating at the edge of her consciousness. It wedged itself into her conscious mind, which seemed to immediately alert the other awareness in her mind.

"Don't... That's quite enough, Carth!"

She felt a sudden rush, as if the Force was being gathered and released, and heard something collide with what was probably a bulkhead.

"I warn you, Carth, if you disturb her after what she's been through, I may be forced to take action. Go back to the bridge and pilot this ship. I will see to Alriah. Is that understood?"

A mumbled comment later, one set of footsteps was retreating and the other, the softer and lighter steps, were again approaching her and that soft hand had returned, bringing with it a sense of peace and calm to replace what had been lost with the interruption.

"Go back to sleep, Alriah. You won't be disturbed again until we reach Dantooine. You certainly could do with the rest, though it may not be completely restful right now."

"Bastila... there's something..."

"I know," the Jedi replied reassuringly, though her voice carried a hint of fear and something that could have been bitterness, "just rest. It'll pass, and we'll deal with it then. I... I suppose you should remember what you dream, if you can, but try not to let that be your priority."

"Bastila... Thank you for telling Carth off..."

She could practically feel Bastila's poorly restrained blush and smiled slightly.

"You're blushing."

"Nonsense! I am a Jedi! I don't blush!"

The sharp comment, while amusing, jarred her state of near-perfect calm. Before it could slip away any further, though, Bastila's hand was on her cheek, soothing her back into that quiet, shadowed place.

"Stop causing me to wake you," the Jedi warned, her tone almost affectionate, "Rest, Alriah. Please."

"Just... for you..." she replied teasingly, feeling sleep wash over her and not fighting it this time. She knew the shadow was waiting for her, but that was okay. Bastila said the shadow would pass, and if she couldn't trust the Jedi, who could she trust?

"Go now. Go on..."

She smiled tiredly and let herself drift, enjoying the feel of the bright presence in her mind that came closer the deeper into sleep she fell.

_At last. You should rest more often._

"Would that mean hearing from you more often?" she asked. The figure smiled at her, recognizing the teasing for what it was. If she wasn't mistaken, she thought she sensed a blush.

_Always teasing me, I am so glad to have a chance to know you._

Alriah noticed the sadness in the voice, the regret, and reached out, bringing the brilliant form against her.

"Why wouldn't you have?"

_Because... because I hurt you. Badly. And then I had to lie to you, and hurt you far more._

The scout shrugged slightly. She may not have any memories to associate with that comment, but she knew with all her being that it didn't matter all that much right now.

"I love you."

She felt the figure smile warmly at her and tightened her embrace. Fears, regrets, pain, they all went away. The screaming she realized had been at the back of her mind faded to nothing, until all she could hear was a sound that until then had been drowned out by everything else. It was soft, just at the edge of hearing; a rushing that could have been water or air, but when she listened more closely, it wasn't either of those things. It was music in the purest sense, music that seemed to be made up of everything that was and ever would be, a flow that made up the very core of life.

"What is it?"

_The Force._

"It's calling to me..." she said, only realizing it as she said it, "It... It misses me..."

_You'll be back to it soon, dearest. It would never abandon you._

"Nor would you."

The calm confidence of the statement seemed to startle the other, but she knew it to be true.

"That is the reason you're here, right? You're inside me so I won't be alone."

_Yes. I... I care for you, after all._

"Then that's enough."

She felt the other's soft laughter and gentle pleasure at the comment and reveled in it. She settled into the flowing music of the Force and the other stayed with her until she slowly began to wake, rising out of the stream. Her first instinct was to fight, but she controlled the impulse. The Force was not for her to control or command. It had welcomed her and now it was telling her to go. That was all right. She would be welcomed back when it was time.

_Good. You are wise. Go now, my dearest. I'll be waiting. Wake now._

Alriah did as she was told, rising slowly out of sleep and into the dimly lit dormitory of the Ebon Hawk. She stumbled slightly as she stood up, surprised to find her armor and her clothes folded neatly beside her. A dark eyebrow rose as she thought about the only person who had been close enough to undress her. She certainly hadn't undressed herself. Shaking her head, the scout dressed and strode out into the corridor, taking a moment to give Mission an understanding look, knowing she wouldn't tolerate anything more than that right now. As she entered the bridge, the ship was just slowing for their approach into the atmosphere and landing at the Enclave Bastila had told them about. The Jedi was rising from her chair as she approached, obviously eager to be down, her eyes fixed on the planet outside the windows.

"Dantooine..." she said, her voice almost reverent, "it seems like a lifetime since I last set foot on her surface, though in truth it has only been a few months. We should be safe from Malak here... for now, at least."

"Safe?" Carth sputtered, rising from the pilot's chair, his face a study in disbelief and disdain, "You saw what his fleet did to Taris; there wasn't a building over two stories high left standing! They... they turned the planet into one big pile of rubble."

The Jedi and the scout both looked at him for a long moment, Bastila's expression weary and intolerant while Alriah was both mildly irritated and annoyed by the man's persistent tendency to argue with the stubborn woman and think only in soldier's terms, though she was interested to hear what the braided woman would answer that with. What he said was true, after all.

"Even the Sith would think twice before attacking Dantooine. There are many Jedi here, including several of the most powerful Masters of the Order. There is great strength within this place."

That was true too. Even she could feel it. There was a rushing all around her that wasn't unlike a strong wind or the pull of the tides. She could feel a waiting presence here as well, not unlike the shadow in her mind. Oh yes, there was much strength to be found here, of all sorts.

"I agree with Bastila," she commented, letting the feel of the place ebb and flow around her. She could feel Bastila's eyes on her, and looked at her directly as she added, "We should be safe here."

The Jedi smiled faintly, then seemed to notice she was doing it and stiffened. Alriah shook her head inwardly, seeing the response for what it was: Bastila's attempt to ignore her emotions. Even she could see that it was the way the braided woman ignored her emotions until they burst out of her that was the danger, not simply feeling them.

"We can get supplies here and recuperate," Bastila commented softly, still looking at her, this time with confusion and some fear, "The Academy is a place of mental and spiritual healing; something we could all use after what we've been through."

Carth might have said something, but she gave him a long look, forestalling any possible comment. He looked rebellious, but she shook her head slightly. He sighed loudly, and once again she almost smiled at the image of him being a deflated bag of hot air.

"Maybe you're right. It isn't easy to witness the annihilation of an entire planet. I know Mission must be taking it pretty hard."

"She will find a way to come to terms with her grief. She is stronger than she appears. We just need to give her time," Bastila responded, this time looking sincere and understanding. Alriah wondered just how deeply the destruction of Taris had to be affecting the Jedi, attuned to the Force as she was. She did agree that Mission was stronger than she might seem at first, but she was also more fragile. Still, she knew that Bastila, for all her cold attitude, did recognize the girl's pain and that her advice on handling it was most likely correct.

'But what about you, Bastila?' she asked herself silently, looking closely into those translucent purple-gray eyes and seeing a deep, nearly endless well of pain and despair there. It was like looking into her nightmare from the outside, she realized. The smaller woman glanced at her, noticing her scrutiny, and shifted under the understanding, sympathetic black eyes.

"Now I must go speak with the Council," she said abruptly, her words slightly rushed as if trying to avoid being caught in the scout's attentive regard any longer than she absolutely had to, "I need their advice on... recent developments. After I have met with them I will meet you outside the ship."

She immediately turned on her heel and left, leaving Carth staring after her with more than a little annoyance before turning back to his piloting, landing them neatly in the Enclave, while Alriah just smiled sadly. She hated that Bastila looked at her with such fear and guilt, especially since she didn't know what was causing the look. She didn't know of anything she could have done since meeting Bastila to cause that. As for the presence in her mind, if that was Bastila, it certainly wasn't the fearful, constantly tense and closed woman she kept seeing.

'But as I noticed before, I know that the Bastila I see isn't the real person. She's the one I'd like to know.'

Deciding that there was no use in worrying too much about that for now, she went to do something productive with her time. She couldn't do anything about Bastila's problems with her right now, but there were things she could do. She tracked down Zaalbar and with him at her side she persuaded Mission to play Pazaak with her. The flow of the game soon swept Mission out of her depression, and she even managed to talk a little about Taris and her brother. By the time Bastila returned, the scout was reasonably sure that Mission would be fine, as Bastila said, with time. She was hurting, but she'd heal. As she walked down the ship's ramp, though, she thought about her nightmare and started wonder if she or Bastila would ever heal. The Jedi looked even more strained now, and her concern and fear seemed to be almost overwhelming her.

"I have spoken briefly with the Council; they request an audience with you. We should go at once."

That got both their attention, though Alriah had enough sense and patience to wait for more information. Carth, on the other hand, wasn't so patient. He glared darkly at the Jedi, his expression immediately becoming suspicious.

"An audience with the Jedi Council? That's pretty unusual for someone who isn't even a Jedi. What's this about, Bastila?"

"I'm sorry, Carth," the braided woman answered, not sounding all that sorry, "but I cannot tell you. All I ask is that you trust in the Force and the wisdom of the Council."

The answer amused Alriah, because she knew that Carth, for all his arrogant sense of entitlement, wouldn't dare question the Jedi Council, or at least not yet. Carth had a healthy fear of Jedi, though that fear took a step back in his dealings with Bastila for some reason. Maybe her youth and beauty served to put him at ease, but Bastila was probably more dangerous to him than any of the Jedi Masters.

"Well, I don't like being left out of the loop, but I'm not looking to get you in any trouble with the Jedi Masters. We'll do things your way for a while."

The warning in the statement was clear, as was the arrogance, but neither woman spared him any more attention.

"Come, they are expecting us. I will lead you to the Council chambers."

Bastila was speaking to Alriah, but Carth followed anyway, apparently under some illusion that he had the right to be with them. She followed Bastila into the building, but was stopped by a young Jedi, a Padawan from her robes and temper. Interestingly, her eyes were filled with pain and her voice, when she spoke, was harsh and cold, as if covering some deeper sorrow.

"You there, Padawan! Why are you not wearing the customary robes of the Jedi? Do you mock the honored traditions of our order?"

"Are you a Jedi?" she asked, determined to be polite. She didn't ask the question because she wanted to know. She already knew the answer. What she was interested in was how the young woman would answer. As she expected, she became confused, apparently caught off guard by the question as well as the calm, well-mannered tone it was asked in.

"My name is Belaya. I have come here to further my learning in the ways of the Force. Many Jedi come here to train under Master Zhar. Any who belong to the Order should surely know this. You must be neglecting your studies, Padawan."

It seemed this young woman was determined to be rude and take out her rage and pain on anyone she met. Or perhaps every Jedi she met? That seemed more accurate.

"I believe you are mistaken. I am not a Padawan. I am Alriah Dakari," she paused slightly, then continued with an inner smile, knowing the next thing she said would be sure to get an interesting response, "I came here with Bastila."

"Bastila?" the Padawan asked, her expression cooling immediately, giving Alriah the idea Bastila was not exactly well liked by the younger students here, "I have heard of her. They say she has already mastered the art of Battle Meditation, remarkable in one so young. Though I have heard she has a foolish pride in her own talents."

'Something you have some trouble with, I imagine,' the scout thought, keeping the observation to herself. Belaya seemed to harbor a rather intense jealousy of Bastila's abilities and favored status. And of course, Bastila and Belaya were probably about the same age, though Belaya seemed a little younger. The young woman probably felt she wasn't accomplishing enough next to the prodigy.

"But as for you..." Belaya continued, heedless of her thoughts, "you claim you are not a Padawan? I find this hard to believe. The Force is strong within you. I can feel its presence. If this is some type of jest, it is in very poor taste. The Jedi Order is not a subject for jokes."

"I am telling you the truth," she answered, trying to hide her amusement. She was starting to wonder if that stubborn, bullheaded arrogance that covered a deep well of pain was a quality the Jedi selected for. Both Bastila and Belaya were both deeply wounded by something, though she didn't get the sense Belaya had carried her pain for anywhere near as long as Bastila had. The difference was in the degree of fear that shadowed their eyes. When Belaya got over her surprise, her tone was warmer, more conciliatory.

"Please forgive the abruptness with which I first greeted you. It was harsh, and perhaps unfair. My Master often warns me I must learn to control my emotions. I see I have much left to learn. I wish you a pleasant stay here on Dantooine. May the Force be with you."

As she walked away, remembering the direction Bastila had gone, she considered Belaya's obvious problem, which, she admitted to herself, was also related to a core problem of Bastila's.

'I do wonder, though, how hard it would be to draw on her jealousy and make her a pawn to it. Too easy, probably. Though whatever the cause for her pain is, that might heal much of her troubles if it were resolved. With Bastila it is much the same. It must be hard for her to be so clearly disliked by her peers, but whatever it is that hurts her so much seems to be far worse than that for her.'

Deciding to think more on that if the issue came up, she continued into the Council chamber with only a brief comment from him. As she approached, she took a moment to take in the four Masters that made up the Council. One was a Twi'lek of a somewhat unusual reddish-pink tone, his bearing unusually dignified and quiet for one of his race. Despite the sense of calm he gave off, his expression was curious and welcoming.

'So... interesting. He's a very unusual man, especially for his race.'

The man next to him, a balding human with pale, wrinkled skin was not so welcoming, however. He looked stern and stiff, his eyes suspicious and piercing. Next was a small green Jedi who, despite his size, gaze of a feel of command and wisdom. This, then, was the leader, the head of the Council, be it directly or indirectly. He was very difficult to read, and all she could get for sure was a wary watchfulness and the patience to not judge immediately, though no indication of what his final decision about her fate might be. Last was another human, this one dark-skinned and mostly bald. He looked bookish and intelligent, with an open face and a curiosity that she was sure extended to most things he set his unusual green eyes on. He was obviously a scholar of some renown, but considering he was a Jedi Master, she was sure there was more to him than books and study.

"Ah, so you are the one who rescued Bastila. It is appropriate you are here," the Twi'lek said, breaking her out of her musings about the Masters. It was interesting, though not unexpected, that he was the first to greet her, not the green Master or one of the two human. What was also interesting was Bastila's faint blush at his mention of the rescue. It seemed she had actually told the Masters the truth, not a version that didn't involve rescue, which would have been a lie of sorts.

"We have been discussing your rather special case," he added, continuing when she said nothing, instead waiting patiently, "I am Zhar, a member of the Jedi Council. With me are Master Vrook," indicating the pale, balding man, "Master Vandar," this time the smallest of the masters, though his voice carried, as she expected, a deep respect and loyalty, "and, of course, the Chronicler of our Academy, Master Dorak," this time gesturing to the scholar, "Padawan Bastila I am sure you are already familiar with."

She smiled at the young Jedi when he indicated her, her dark eyes warming when the Padawan blushed again, just enough that she could see but not enough to be obvious. Turning back to the Masters, she tilted her head, regarding all of them before focusing again on Master Zhar, who she felt was the one she should address for now.

"I've got some questions for all of you," she said cautiously, knowing it was an understatement but not at all willing to blurt out her thoughts. These four held much power over her, and until she understood the rules, she would tread lightly. Her response seemed to meet with Master Zhar's approval, along with Master Dorak's, though Master Vrook shifted, looking even more wary and suspicious now, and Master Vandar remained impossible to read.

"Indeed, I am sure that you do. I assure you that we will have answers for you."

She had to smile slightly at that, despite the seriousness of the situation. Zhar was doing his best to keep her from feeling overwhelmed, she thought, and she appreciated the effort. Still, it was rather difficult to overwhelm her, though she decided that making that clear was not in anyone's best interests.

"Why am I a special case?" she asked, again cautious. She was more than aware that her words and actions would, in some way, reflect on Bastila, and she was not going to do anything to jeopardize the younger woman's standing with the Council. She knew Bastila was watching her closely, and noticed her body relax just slightly out of the corner of her eye at her direct but tactful question.

"Bastila tells us you are strong in the Force. We are considering you for Jedi training," Zhar answered, though he glanced briefly at Vandar before speaking. That was interesting, and proved much of her theory about the hierarchy of the Council. She debated her answer before speaking, deciding on honesty and respect, sure that would cause a reaction she could study.

"Nothing would give me greater honor than learning the ways of the Jedi."

Master Vrook shifted, his focus sharpening immediately, while both Zhar and Dorak looked at her with more than a little surprise. Once again, however, Vandar was nearly impossible to read, though she got the feeling he approved, at least of her words.

"Master Zhar speaks out of turn, perhaps. We need indisputable proof of your strong affinity to the Force before we would even consider accepting you for training," Vrook commented, his tone cool and doubtful, matching his expression.

Bastila immediately stirred at that, her purple-gray eyes boring into the Master. Alriah wished she could reach out and calm the woman, taking no offense to the man's caution. In fact, she thought it wise. She was an adult, for one, and adults were almost invariably very difficult, if not impossible, to teach difficult lessons to. She was an unknown quantity, and if they were as powerful as they must be to have their positions, they could sense the shadows in her mind, of which there were many. They had every reason and more to be doubtful. Still, it was touching that Bastila would come to her defense so quickly.

"Proof? Surely the entire Council can feel the strength of the Force within this woman... and I have already related to you the events that took place on Taris..."

"Maybe it was simple luck." Vrook replied, shrugging off the woman's objection while at the same time fixing her with a glare that even Bastila withered slightly under.

"We both know there is no luck," Zhar objected mildly, and Alriah thought this might be an old debate between the two, if not the entire council, "There is only the Force. We all feel the power in Bastila's companion, though it is wild and untamed. Now that this power has begun to manifest itself, can we safely ignore it?"

She watched the interaction, fascinated by the personalities and conflicts between them. It seemed that Vrook and Zhar didn't get along all that well, which wasn't surprising. Their personalities seemed to conflict on many levels, while Dorak and Vandar seemed content to observe. She did agree with both, though. It was possible that at least some of the things she had accomplished had been done by good fortune or coincidence. Still, even she could recognize that the power inside her was untamed to some degree, and she didn't doubt that was dangerous. Beyond all that, though, it amused her to be referred to as Bastila's "companion," in no small part because it made the Jedi start slightly and blush just a little bit once again

"The Jedi training is long and difficult, even when working with a young and open mind," the balding Master said finally, echoing her earlier thoughts, "Teaching a child is hard. How much harder will it be for an adult to learn the ways of the Jedi?"

"I am willing to try my best," the scout commented, seeing that she was expected to respond in some way and once again deciding on the tactful, honest approach. She was willing to try, but she was not about to claim she was ready or demand anything from them. She hadn't earned anything from them yet, including their respect, much less the right to make demands.

"Traditionally the Jedi do not accept adults for training, though there are rare exceptions in the history of our order. But you are a special case," Dorak interjected, speaking for the first time, apparently impressed by her diplomacy. Once again, though, was the repeated observation that she as a "special case". Of that she had no doubt, but why?

"I agree with Master Dorak," Vandar commented softly, speaking up at last, "Many of our own pupils are leaving the Jedi order to follow the Sith teachings, we need recruits to stand against Malak! With Revan dead..."

He trailed off, and only the slight droop of his long ears gave away his unhappiness. Vrook glared at her before looking at Vandar, though much more respectfully.

"Are you certain Revan is truly dead? What if we undertake to train this one, and the Dark Lord should return?"

The small Master shook his head sharply, cutting off what looked to be the beginnings of a rant. Vrook froze for a split second, as if realizing he had been about to give away something confidential. She was curious, but once again she understood that she would get no answers now, and would lose ground with these men if she asked. She couldn't afford that. Still, time revealed many things, and patience had rarely left her without answers.

"We should discuss this matter more fully in private," Vandar said, looking at her with open interest now. Obviously something about her had caught his attention, and judging from his expression, at least some small degree of respect, "Bastila, you and your companion must go. This is a matter for the Council alone,"

Bastila bowed, looking strained and upset once again. Alriah had a feeling she knew what this discussion would be about, but she certainly wasn't going to ask. Whatever the subject was, it was apparent that it touched Bastila deeply.

"As you wish, Master Vandar. We shall return to the Ebon Hawk and leave you to your deliberations."

She walked out with a bow, and Alriah followed immediately, taking a moment to nod respectfully to the Masters, but she didn't bow. She knew, as she was sure they did, that she shouldn't. She was not one of them, but she should still be respectful.

"That went better than expected," Bastila said softly when they returned to the Ebon Hawk. She gave her a long, searching look, then relaxed slightly. "Thank you for being so tactful. I..."

"I know my actions reflect on you, Bastila, even if I don't understand why," she said softly when the Jedi's voice trailed off. She looked at her gently, her dark eyes warm. "I didn't want you to be hurt by anything I did, not for any reason, and definitely not with your Masters."

Bastila seemed taken off guard, then flustered. She sputtered for a moment, trying to maintain her professional demeanor. Taking pity on the woman, she moved past her onto the ramp, then turned, brushing the hair that always hung in her forehead back.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Bastila, not if I can help it. I don't know why you always look scared when I'm around, and I don't expect that to change right away. But... I'm not going to hurt you."

She knew Bastila was still staring at her as she turned around and started walking away again, but once against she didn't far, but through no fault of her own. As she took another step forward, she felt something break out, another sliver off the massive darkness in her mind. It took her off guard, as this one was stronger than any of the others she'd dealt with. She stumbled, hitting her head against the edge of the entryway to the ship. She fell to her knees, barely able to keep from smacking her head on the floor.

"Alriah!"

Bastila's voice sounded weak and scared almost to the point of panic, and all she wanted to do was comfort her, but her head was spinning and pounding too much for her to do anything. She felt hands on her, but those hands were shaking badly. She fought her pain and the rising nausea, gathering all her self-control to open her eyes, knowing the hot, sticky fluid on her face was blood, but that wasn't important. Bastila's face was tear-streaked and pale, her entire body trembling. Alriah lifted her up, ignoring her pain, ignoring her dizziness, and carried her as gently as possible while stumbling down the corridor to the dormitory bed they'd shared before.

"Hold on, Bastila. We're almost there."

She finally got the Jedi settled into the bed, collapsing onto her knees once she had.

"Alriah?" she whispered, her voice raw.

"It's okay, Bastila. Whatever this is... it'll pass."

"You have to get off the deck, Alriah," the younger woman ordered, which was almost funny considering how weak her voice was, "Get up here."

"Yes ma'am," Alriah answered, laughing slightly until she was forced to shut her mouth against vomiting. By sheer force of will, she forced herself onto the bed, wrapping her body protectively around Bastila's slimmer, smaller form. She felt the shadow embed itself in her conscious mind, taking over her thoughts and senses.

_Don't fight, Alriah!_

The return of the voice and the lessening of Bastila's shaking reassured her, and she forced herself to relax her mind's defenses, letting the shadow take over without a fight. She could feel the presence relaxing as she did, the fear and tension in the voice fading when it came again.

_Good. Well done, Alriah. I know that was difficult. Don't worry, dear one. It will pass, just as you said. It will be over soon. Just let it happen. I'm here. _We_ are here._

"It's safe, then?"

_Yes._

"Then I'll do as you ask."

The scout slipped into the shadow with the abruptness of a fall off a cliff and into an ocean, watching the vision with detached interest. As she listened to Malak she was disturbed by how little it seemed he had grown since that first real step into darkness. Revan, though... Revan was silent. She could feel a fierce sense of purpose from the black-robed form, a sense of knowing and certainty. Revan knew that what she was doing would lead to the dark side. She knew her choice could cause others pain. That was why she hesitated, not for lack of strength or fear, but to apologize in advance for what she felt she must do. At least that was the impression Alriah got. Malak talked on and on about the power of the dark side, but Revan didn't care about that. She felt it and ignored it. She wasn't here for power; she was here for... something. Something else. A path that walked in twilight, neither dark side nor light.

_**You see now.**_

This was a different voice, a voice at once familiar and alien. It carried a weight of knowledge and pain that seemed to extend beyond even what she'd felt from the Jedi Masters. It seemed a galaxy weighed on the owner of that voice, and she found herself drawn to it, not just from a desire to ease pain, but also from an obscure sense of kinship and understanding.

_**You recognize my choice. You recognize my path.**_

"Yes," she answered, watching the two young Jedi walk through the archway, Revan's stride confident and her bearing set. She knew what she was doing. Malak was doubtful and afraid, and said as much, but Revan felt only regret for the pain she knew she must cause. There was no turning back. In that alone had Malak been right. She would walk her chosen path to its end, and in so doing would be hated, reviled and feared.

"But it was the only way," she whispered, recognizing the truth for what it was.

_**You understand. Then wake, and remember. And remember also, I mean you no harm.**_

Alriah knew that already. This voice was, in its own way, as loving as the other. This one was colder, more alien, but it was still caring. The other presence was aware of the new one, and she could see them both in her mind's eye, one dark, the other light, with her in the middle.

_**As for you, young one... you're forgiven. What was done is done, and cannot be undone. I do not fault you for what you had to do. Now go, little one, and watch over her.**_

The shadow turned toward her, and she could sense a slight smile from her.

_**Guard the little one with your life, Alriah Dakari. She's special.**_

With a kiss to the brilliant form that obviously took it off guard. and a light caress to Alriah's cheek, an almost maternal gesture, the shadow was gone. Worried, Alriah looked at the bright figure, who was clearly upset, but when it turned to her, it was smiling, not, as she had half-feared, longing for the shadow or gone along with her.

_I'm here. Do not worry, Alriah. I have my regrets, but you are my life now, not the other. We are no more than a memory._

The scout smiled, further reassured when the bright form embraced her.

_Go now and remember, dearest. It is time for you to wake._

She shook herself mentally as she once again rose out of shadows, taking stock of her body and her surroundings. Bastila was gone, and part of her wondered if she'd just dreamt having the Jedi in her arms. Nonetheless, her face and hair were clean of blood, but a lingering ache and bloodstains on the pillow proved that her fall, at least, had not been a dream. She had to brace herself as she stood, pain and dizziness taking over for a moment. She got her body under control again before walking out of the ship to where Carth was waiting, looking toward the Enclave until she approached. When he noticed her, she gave him a subdued greeting, really just wanting to get away from him. He was making her headache worse.

"This morning's getting stranger by the minute," he commented, "First Bastila comes out looking like she saw a ghost, and now you."

He seemed startled when that immediately got her attention, but the look on her pale face was apparently enough to keep him from asking any questions.

"Well, Bastila did mention that you should go to the Council chambers before she left. It is no doubt urgent, so you shouldn't keep them waiting."

She ignored his faint sarcasm, too tired to deal with it and not willing to get into it with him anyway.

"Did she say anything else?" she asked, worried, though not sure why.

"No she didn't. She didn't seem well, as I recall... and for that matter neither do you. Are you alright?"

"I had a rough night..." she answered after a long moment of thoughtful silence. She was concerned about Bastila, and not particularly interested in telling Carth why it had been a rough nigh. She did try to appreciate his concern, though. Instead, she simply said, "Let's go."

"You got it," he replied, probably because she was giving him a look that warned him of dire consequences to asking her more questions right now. She jogged to the Council chambers, trying to ignore the persistent ache in her head. When she got there, she saw that Bastila did indeed look rather pale. Her eyes were sunken and shadowed, and her body was stiff and drawn. The Masters were all watching the look that passed between them with much more intensity than they had yesterday. Dark eyes narrowed as she examined them, noticing that they all seemed very interested in her indeed, but not in a way she was sure she liked or appreciated.

"Bastila has told us of a most unusual development," Vandar started, surprising her slightly. He didn't seem to be the first to speak in most situations, so clearly whatever was going on was unusual, "She claims you and she have shared a dream, a vision of Malak and Revan in the ancient ruins here on Dantooine."

Ah. That immediately erased the headache fromher thoughts. So that was it. But... they had shared the dream? So perhaps she hadn't simply imagined holding Bastila's shaking form. Now she understood why the poor woman looked so exhausted and pale. Despite the shadow's lack of harmful intent, it was still draining to cope with and remember. Still, this explained much, probably more than the Masters knew.

"These ruins have long been known to us, but we believed them to be merely burial mounds. Perhaps they are more than we first suspected, if Revan and Malak found something there," Master Dorak continued, picking up where Vandar had left off. He spoke with all the interest of a scholar about to make an incredible breakthrough, and she found herself perversely amused by his almost boyish eagerness to understand the ruins. She liked Master Dorak. He was a good man.

"Yes... they did seem to be searching for something," she commented, keeping her words short and to the point. Remembering the dream was hard enough without having to relive it, which she had a feeling Bastila had already done. But there was something...

"Wait... How would Bastila know if we shared a dream?"

Vandar seemed surprised by the question, but his expression immediately smoothed, becoming that blank mask again.

"She says she felt your presence within the dream, the presence she has felt within you since..."

"Master Vandar!" Vrook barked. All the masters had stiffened, as if Master Vandar had been about to reveal something forbidden. Bastila's reaction was by far the most interesting. Now that she was paying attention to it, she could feel an undercurrent within her mind, like a conversation heard from far away. Right now she could sense an acute, agonized terror that made her want nothing more than to wrap her arms around the young Jedi and hold her until it all went away.

"... Ever since Taris," Vandar finished, almost, though not quite, glaring at his companions. When he looked at Bastila though, he calmed, although it was clear there was something he wanted to say that he was holding back. "It is not unknown for this to happen between two people strong in the Force."

Vandar looked at her closely, then seemed to come to some conclusion within himself, his ears once again giving him away to the attentive observer. With another glance at Bastila, this time regretful and more than a little sad, he continued on with his explanation.

"Bastila has described this shared dream to the Council in great detail. We feel it is more than a dream. It is a vision. The Force is acting through you as it acts through Bastila."

"I am having visions now?" she said, not doubtful, but worried. She had felt the power of the Force, even if her immersion had been relatively brief. If it were acting through her and Bastila, what would it do? That much power within any human, and two humans...

"You and Bastila share a powerful connection to the Force... and each other," Zhar continued, picking up the thread and apparently oblivious to her thoughts and the fear that filled her, "This is not unheard of. Connections often form between Master and student, but rarely does a bond develop so quickly."

She looked at Master Vandar, who was examining her intently, very possibly the only one of the group who understood her sudden fear. A connection with Bastila explained much, though it in no way proved the voice in her mind was actually Bastila's. What it did prove was that Bastila had reason to fear her. If she understood the implications of this bond, her actions affected the Jedi in a very real way, and it would likely make it all too easy for any mistakes on her part to affect the younger woman, and vice versa.

"Whatever dangers may lie ahead, we cannot ignore the destiny that has brought you and Bastila here to us. Together."

"Are you saying I'm... joined with her?" she asked softly, looking into frightened, purple-gray eyes before turning back to Master Vandar. He looked at her with a great deal of sympathy, as if, as she suspected, he knew what the real source of her fear was and sympathized as best he could. She appreciated the effort, but still Alriah was afraid, a state she was very uncomfortable with.

"You and she are linked, as is your fate to hers. Together you two may be able to stop Darth Malak and the Sith."

Well, that at least was a bright point, but power and that kind of glory really didn't matter to her. Bastila, however, did matter, and the thought that she could cause the other woman harm with a mere thought upset her deeply. But the thought of her being captured by the Sith as she had been by the Vulkars terrified her far more. For that reason alone would she do this. Power and glory were irrelevant in the face of that.

"But do not let your head be filled with visions of glory and power!" Vrook warned in an uncanny echo of her own thoughts, "Such thoughts are the path to the dark side. The way of the light is long and difficult, as you must learn. Are you ready for such hardship?"

"I will try my best," she replied after only a moment's hesitation. She knew her life was about to change drastically, but she was also aware that if she were to learn to control the power that slept inside her mind and to keep from harming Bastila unintentionally, this was the only thing she could do. Of course, she had no objection to learning as a matter of course, finding great pleasure in knowledge, but this was important on so many levels.

'I have to protect her. If becoming a Jedi will do that, all the more reason to do it.'

The Masters seemed to approve of the answer. It was neither tentative nor overconfident, simply what it was: a statement of both a desire to learn and a willingness to work for what she gained.

"Understand that there is little choice in this matter, for you or us," Vandar interjected, his ears drooping and his eyes mournful, "Across the galaxy the numbers of our order dwindle. We have sent many Jedi in quest of a way to thwart Malak's advance... Many have not returned. The Sith hunt the Jedi down like animals, ambushing and assassinating our brothers wherever they are found. We fear it is only a matter of time until they discover even this hidden refuge."

"Other Jedi have fallen from the light and embraced the dark side, giving their allegiance to the Sith and Malak, their dark lord," Vrook added, his voice angry. The anger seemed to be from a sense of helplessness, which must have been difficult for a proud, strong man who had obviously worked very hard to get where he was, and in his own way cared deeply for what he stood for and protected.

"Jedi are turning to the dark side?" she asked, not surprised so much as disappointed. The shadow stirred slightly, and she felt Bastila's eyes on her, proof, at least to her, of Bastila's connection with her.

"The lure of the dark side is not easy to resist," Vrook answered, his face clearly showing that he had experienced that temptation himself and didn't come through the experience unscathed. Her estimation of the dark-tempered man rose dramatically. "Malak's power grows as more and more planets fall to his conquering armies."

"If Malak is not stopped the Republic will fall, and the Jedi will be hunted to extinction. The galaxy will enter a time of darkness and tyranny not seen for a thousand generations," Zhar added, looking distant and disturbed, as if he were seeing it in the walls around them.

Vandar shook his head, cutting off the musings of his two Masters. Small though he may be, it was clear to Alriah as they talked that he had seen the full extent of the dark side's cruelties and had resisted the call to power with grace and wisdom, if not ease.

"The Council has decreed that you and Bastila must investigate the ancient ruins you dreamed of... once the Council deems you ready."

The dark-haired scout accepted this calmly, though the more eager side of her wanted to push, to get this over with. She wanted to protect the countless lives that were being destroyed by the Sith, but she had to face the simple fact that her primary concern was Bastila.

"Perhaps there you will find some clue, some explanation, of how Revan and Malak were corrupted," Master Dorak added as an afterthought, though she noticed that Vandar and Bastila both shifted slightly at the term he used to describe Revan's fall, "And perhaps there you shall find a way to stop them.

"I am ready now. I accept this mission," she said firmly, meaning both the training and the task itself. Three of the four Masters seemed to mistake her meaning, but she could see that Vandar seemed to understand. When she looked at Bastila, she couldn't tell if the woman understood. She was pale and obviously shaken, but somehow she had managed to mask her emotions, and the current she felt only relayed fear and concern, nothing definite.

"The Force flows through you like no student we have ever seen. But you are willful and headstrong... a dangerous combination," Vrook said. While Alriah agreed with him, it annoyed her that he believed her stupid or reckless enough to rush headlong into a fight with the Sith without training. She was a reasonably competent fighter, but she knew there was far more to this mission than combat. Vandar seemed to see this irritation and continued where Vrook had left off, being much more informative than the brooding master.

"Before we send you to investigate the ruins, you must be trained in the ways of the Jedi so that you can resist the darkness within yourself... within all of us" he paused slightly, and she knew that had not been what he meant, and he seemed to want her to realize that. He knew, then, about the shadow, and probably about the light as well. That was interesting. "Otherwise you are doomed to fail."

"As you wish, Master Vandar," she answered, deciding she liked the old master. He saw and heard far more than the others, that much was obvious, and what he didn't know he found out. He was the one she most wanted respect from. If she could earn his respect, she could earn anyone's, including broody Master Vrook's.

"We must begin your training at once," Zhar said, his voice more enthusiastic now. Of course, it would be. This was something he knew. He was in his own arena. "You have a destiny upon you that you must be prepared to face. The entire fate of the galaxy is upon you."

"I can only hope you will prove up to the task," the dour master commented from Zhar's side, his wrinkled face doubtful as always.

It was agreed, then, that she would train. She just hoped that she was up to the task, as Vrook had said. Even without including defeating Malak and the Sith, which she recognized as a far off possibility that would take much work to accomplish, even if it could be done, she had a great deal of stake in this. She would do exactly as she said she would. She would do the best that she was capable of, and whether she failed or succeeded, it would not be through lack of effort or devotion. Only fear and doubt would hold her back, and she was determined not to allow that.

'Bastila... forgive me. I didn't see. I didn't understand. Now I do.'

As if aware of her thoughts, which was very possible, Bastila looked at her, her head tilted slightly to the side. Just this once, her eyes weren't afraid. They were warm and understanding, which reassured her more than any words could have.

'Then let it begin.'

Zhar led her and Bastila out of the Council chambers into his training room, and as she walked Alriah made a decision. She would succeed. She would become a Jedi. There was no trying. She could do or not do, but she would not try. She felt the shadow presence rising, sensing her approval, but also Bastila's somewhat fearful awareness of her presence.

So it begins. Which path will you choose, I wonder?

"Whatever path I must."

_**Well said. Go now, and find your way. There is much to do, and little time to do it.**_

She agreed, watching Zhar watch her. He would train her well, she decided, and she would be a willing student. Here was a beginning. Here was an end.

_**And here is a rebirth.**_

And so it began.


	4. The Dark Path of the Fallen

Disclaimers: This is an obsession of mine, but I do not own the rights to KotOR or its characters

Disclaimers: This is an obsession of mine, but I do not own the rights to KotOR or its characters. I just mangle them. Leaving me alone would be a good idea. I might just turn rabid and bite. Or something.

Life is a strange thing. Not all that long ago I couldn't write at all, and now I can't stop. Isn't that strange? For over a year my life was constantly in chaos, and writing was a dream. Now, here we are, and my obsession is revived.

Now, a key factor here is reviews. I've been, as I said, unable to write much of anything for over a year, and now I'm running on an obsessive compulsion. I do still take reviews into account though. I'm a writer mostly for myself, but I do want others to enjoy what I write, or at least be able to get through it. Reviews are very helpful with that.

So, on with the story, and on with the madness. Oh, as a note: 

_italics_ - bright voice/Force, '_italics_' - Bastila's thoughts, '' - Alriah's thoughts, _**bold**_** - **Shadow

**Dakari: The Real Story**

Chapter 3: The Dark Path of the Fallen

The weeks of training were brutal and difficult, as Alriah had expected. At first it was all she could do to raise a datapad, and the frustration she felt further got in her way. When she first dueled Bastila, she found herself hesitating and unsure of herself, which was an unusual experience for her. In those times, Bastila defeated her often, and she'd collapse into her bed weary and battered, thinking over the combat and forcing herself to see where there she could have done better, and to find the weaknesses in her opponent's technique. Zhar's words rang in her mind as each day she grew stronger and more disciplined, 

"The path you have chosen to walk is difficult. Intensive training will prepare you physically for the demands of the Order. Meditation will teach you to channel the power of the Force."

As she heard his words, she kept coming back to the reasons for her intense effort.

'I will not hurt her.'

That became her mantra. She taught herself to concentrate through the frustration and fear and soon found herself effortlessly levitating, holding up any object near her and maintaining near perfect control over it. She practiced endlessly, even when her body and mind tried to tell her that she had no more to give. Her mind, already focused, became as sharp and focused as a lightsaber. As she worked to strengthen herself, she could feel Bastila's watching presence, and sometimes the light and dark forms would come in her dreams. They never said anything, but their presence was enough. They approved.

'I will not hurt her.'

Her skills with a blade also improved quickly. She decided that the only way she could effectively fight was to know her own limits and go past them. Control would keep her from causing unnecessary pain, so she could fight even Bastila effectively. She would not hurt the woman, but as she continued to train it became all but impossible for Bastila to defeat her. She even convinced Mission and Carth to spar with her when Bastila was too tired or busy with her own training. Mission was a clever, unpredictable fighter, while Carth was predictable but strong. Zaalbar was wild and strong, though less quick to rage than many of his people. Canderous was often the biggest challenge. He was fully willing to fight dirty, and she respected both his skills and his cool in battle. He was almost impossible to frighten or rattle, but for all his skills, she found she could best him as long as she maintained control of herself. And those lessons she took with her. And another of Zhar's lectures came to mind as she found this truth.

To truly understand the way of the Jedi, you must open your mind to knowledge. Seek wisdom in the teachings of the great Masters of our Order." 

'I will not hurt her.'

Every day she trained under the direction of Master Zhar and every night she studied. She had made a promise, and now she had a way to keep it. This training would prove invaluable. One day, as she was dueling with Bastila as she often did, it proved worth her time, as she knew it would. As their swords met, her mind became empty and silent, and she could see past the surface of the woman, down past her eyes and her flesh, past her conscious mind and into the depths beyond. She could sense every move the Jedi was about to take and every flicker of emotion she felt. There, in the center of a storm of past, present, and future actions, reactions, and emotions, she felt herself reach a state of perfect calm. And then, moments or hours later, Bastila was there with her. They stood together in the middle of the storm, both souls, both minds joined in perfect harmony. 

"A Jedi is never alone - others in the Order will always stand by you. You and Bastila share a special bond. Do not be afraid to turn to her when you need help in your training." 

In that place of calm, connection, and understanding, she realized that Zhar had been more right than he probably knew. As long as she and Bastila lived, neither would ever be alone. There was no need to be alone, after all, and really no desire. Though each feared their bond for their own reasons, neither could think of living without it, despite it being a relatively new addition to their lives.

'I will not hurt her.'

The thought echoed, and after a moment she realized they were both thinking it.

'I will not lose her.'

Again, the thought came from both their minds, though there was little separation between them in that moment.

'I will protect her.'

And that was everything. It was an oath, a promise, a binding, and more. Given within and before the Force, it strengthened their bond. It surpassed the faint connection they had to one that was almost physical. They existed both within themselves and each other, and in that one moment, they both knew that anything was possible. Defeating Malak was the least of what they could do, and the least of what the Force had planned for them. With that knowledge, the moment passed and they found themselves falling back into their own bodies and minds, but the connection remained. Alriah's sword had stopped just short of Bastila's neck, and her blade was on the floor. Clear purple-gray eyes looked up into opaque black with complete trust. There was no fear, no apprehension. Just trust and mute surrender. Surrender to what, though, Alriah wasn't sure. To her skill, possibly, or perhaps to their bond. Whatever it was, it was there, and she smiled, her blade flicked away from the vulnerable throat with unconscious grace and ease. She held out her hand, helping Bastila back to her feet.

"I am impressed," Zhar said, interrupting the silence that had fallen around the two. They looked at him simultaneously, which seemed to both amuse and impress him. Apparently deciding he had perhaps been too informal, he added, "The way of the Jedi is difficult. It requires great discipline. Yet even though you are a mere apprentice, your potential is unlimited - and your progress amazing." 

She waited as the Twi'lek master started one of his lectures, but then he stopped and smiled, the pretense of stiff formality falling away again.

"I have never seen an apprentice duel like that, nor a Padawan. You moved as one. It is amazing one bested the other."

Bastila shook her head, her eyes slightly glazed.

"Alriah is the better of the two of us, Master. That has been proven."

Zhar almost stared at the Padawan. Bastila wasn't one to admit something like that so easily, nor did she seem to mean just combat. After that day, though, Alriah found that the younger woman's attitude toward her changed. At times she would go far out of her way to spend time with her, and it would seem as if she couldn't bear to be apart from her. At other times, Bastila avoided her as if she were a demon come to steal her soul. She was rarely, if ever, the same from day to day, and this instability worried Alriah, who took to watching her whenever possible. When they were together, though, there was no distance, no separation. Bastila spoke of her training and of the honing of her battle meditation, listening while Alriah spoke of her own training and of the worlds she'd seen in her travels, of the people and the cultures she'd come to know and respect, and of those she'd had to fight. Some nights the shadow would come and she'd dream of amazing things and worlds, and she and Bastila would talk about that too. Still, her training period came to an end both too quickly and far too slowly. On that day Zhar approached where she and Bastila were sparring, waiting respectfully for them to finish before speaking. Even before the fateful words, though, Alriah had a good idea of what he would say.

In all my years I have never seen one who has mastered the initial training so quickly. You have done in weeks what many cannot do in years. I am honored to welcome you fully into the Jedi order."

He shook her hand while Bastila looked on with an expression that could have been any number of things, but from their bond Alriah knew she was proud of her. Zhar went on to explain the basics of three final tests she needed to pass, revealing that the first was knowledge of the Jedi Code when she asked. She knew the Code, having looked it up the first day of her training, but she wanted to speak to the other Masters, so she told Zhar she'd come back later and complete the tests. First, however, she asked him about Revan and Malak. He was informative and honest, for all that he was tense. After a short time, she could see why there might have been some doubts about training her. After all, it sounded as if she and Revan had much in common. They were both fascinated with learning and knowledge, and would go to great lengths to understand. 

'Actually, Revan and I have quite a lot in common...'

As the shadow laughed, she felt Bastila grow tense and put the thought aside, deciding she'd come back to it another time. Instead, she went on to question the other Masters. Each had his own viewpoint on the matter. Master Vandar was the most ambiguous by far, and Dorak was the most factual. Vrook was tense from the moment she came into his sight, and continued to become more so as they spoke. Vrook spoke of Revan and Malak with anger, pain, and strangely, regret. As she looked at him, she realized she had a great deal of empathy for the man. Dour and frustrating he might be, but he was a good man doing all he could in a world that wouldn't work with him, a world he couldn't hope to ever understand. 

"What can you tell me about Bastila?" she asked, deciding to change the subject to one the man could cope with better.

"Bastila?" he repeated, looking somewhat surprised, probably because she had asked while looking at him with a great deal of compassion and understanding, "The young Jedi holds great promise... and great danger. She can do much for both the Republic and the Council. Without her skill in Battle Meditation the Sith armada would have conquered the galaxy long ago. But despite her command of the Force Bastila is still young. She is a Jedi, but she has not attained the rank of Master. The Council would do well to remember this before we lay the fate of the galaxy on her slender shoulders."

As Alriah walked away from him, she smiled inwardly. He was completely right, even with his angry demeanor and faint sarcasm. Bastila was all the things he'd said she was. She approached Master Vandar with the same question, noting once again the same informative ambiguity with which he answered many questions.

"I'd like to ask you some questions."

"A Jedi must ever be seeking knowledge. What is it you wish to know?"

"What can you tell me about Bastila?"

"Bastila will be a great Jedi someday. Even among the Masters and the Council it is rare to find one so skilled in the art of Battle Meditation," he paused, looking at her closely and alertly before adding, "Bastila was there when Revan was slain. Did you know that?"

She hadn't expected that, and she had no idea why he was telling her about that, but if it was going where she thought it was going, he was about to tell her something that would say a great deal about Bastila, and about many other things.

"Carth mentioned something about it," she said cautiously, remembering what the soldier had said, which hadn't been much. She was guessing what she was about to be told wasn't exactly common knowledge.

"Bastila herself does not like to talk about it. She was accompanying the strike team that confronted Revan when the Dark Lord was destroyed. Her role in the death of such a promising young Jedi as Revan upset her greatly." 

The way the Master was looking at her told her even more than his words. This was only a part of the story. This was only part of Bastila's intense agony, the past that haunted everything she did, said, and felt. This was the beginning of an explanation of why Bastila looked at her with such pain and fear. If she was as much like Revan as it sounded... if she was like Revan, she reminded Bastila of the incident every time she looked at her. How much more was there to it?

"But Bastila knew she had to set her personal feelings aside for the sake of the galaxy and the Republic," Master Vandar continued briskly, which also told her a great deal, "The Force is strong with her now, and without her skill in Battle Meditation we would have lost this war long ago. The way ahead will be difficult for young Bastila... and for you. But you must draw strength from each other. May the Force be with you."

His quick dismissal was even more information, and she walked away with her mind racing. What had really happened? What had caused this bond between herself and Bastila? Her similarity to Revan? Some connection she might have to the former Dark Lord? That made sense. There were definitely things she didn't know and large gaps in her memory that she'd never really thought about until now. And then there were her dreams, visions, whatever they were. Those were things she had no reason to know, and they were things, with a few exceptions, that Bastila shouldn't know either. 

'And of course there's the voices. That one... it spoke when I dreamt of Revan. What if...'

She shook her head as a pounding, rushing sensation almost overwhelmed her. She felt Bastila become aware of her sudden weakness and pain, and her mind rushed to brace hers. Slowly the pounding eased, but Bastila's mind didn't retreat right away. She stayed, not doing anything, just supporting her. Finally, both the pain and the Jedi left, and she recited the Code for Master Zhar flawlessly. When he told her she needed to build herself a lightsaber, she did as he ordered and went to Master Dorak, who described the three Jedi classes. All had potential, but she knew that while she had the skills and intelligence to be a Consular, she knew that wasn't for her. It was also true that while she was strong and clever enough to be the Guardian, that wasn't her path either. She was a scout. She fought when she had to, persuaded when she could, and used her intelligence to master many different skills so she could act as both a member of a group and alone. 

"I chose the path of a Jedi Sentinel."

And that was what she was. She was a guardian and consular, but those were part of being what she was, and of being a Sentinel. She was the first and last line of defense, a warrior, an advocate, a technician, a healer, and so much more, and she knew it. So it came time to walk the path that would best allow her to utilize her entire range of skills. 

'Interesting that I chose the same path as Bastila,' she thought, 'though I am surprised that she wouldn't be a Guardian. She seems very combat-oriented... though she tries not to be. It is possible that the Sentinel is a better expression of her true self, the self she isn't able to be yet.' She quickly built her lightsaber and chose what Force powers she would learn first, and healing became an obvious choice. She had seen Bastila's use of that power and knew she'd need it. She ended up deciding on a stunning power for humans as well, aware of how many times that would have been invaluable on Taris. When she reported back to Zhar, he commented on the perfect alignment of the crystal, and she realized she hadn't even really thought about it. As she listened to the Master's vague description of her next task, she felt the bright and shadow forms rising and couldn't help but wonder if they had helped her get this far.

_No._

_**No. All you have accomplished has been your own work.**_

_We would not take that away from you. Your strength, your skills, your thoughtfulness, your heart... you've worked for all of them. And you've worked hard._

'Did you block my memories?'

_**NO!**_

The shadow was almost frightening in her anger, but at the same time not. The anger was clearly not directed at her. She seemed to calm after a moment, looking at the bright form, which was cowering slightly, and radiated regret,

_**I apologize, young one. I am not angry with you, or even with your masters. I am simply angry that my actions caused the necessity. **_

_I understand._

'As do I, I think. If you are who you seem to be, especially.'

Both forms were silent then, looking at her for a long moment, then the bright one seemed to smile, wrapping her in a warm embrace, looking over at the shadow as it did. 

_She's catching on very quickly._

The shadow nodded, but she didn't smile. She regarded Alriah seriously, then shook her head slightly, as if coming to a decision she didn't want to voice but knew she had to.

_**It is not yet time for you to know who I am, Alriah Dakari. Let it suffice for now that I mean no harm to you or the little one, or any other. I am proud of the person you have become, but you are not strong enough yet for the truth. I am sorry, but if you discover who I am before you are ready, I will take the knowledge from you.**_

As much as the newly made sentinel wanted to disagree or object, she knew the shadow was right. She nodded, resolving to be patient. So far these two had proven trustworthy, and though the shadow was overwhelming in some ways, she showed obvious care to not cause unnecessary pain or strain. Until she had reason not to, she would trust them. She owed them that much, but no more. She knew she loved the bright one, and that the shadow had much to teach her, so she would be patient. If they threatened Bastila in any way though, there would be an accounting.

_**That is as it should be. Go well, Alriah. When the time comes you will know all.**_

With that, the shadow was gone, leaving her alone with the bright presence. 

_It is good you've chosen to be so patient with us. We want to help you, but there are things..._

'I understand,' she said softly when the presence trailed off, 'don't worry. I can wait. For now, I have time. I don't know how much, but I'll wait as long as I can.'

She shook her head, refocusing on the world around her. She sensed Zhar's curiosity and slight fear, but dismissed it. He knew more than he was telling her, so she had no reason to divulge everything to him either. She accepted the task she'd been given, aware that she would be given no further help or information from any of the Jedi. Mission and Carth were willing to accompany her, and while she seriously considered bringing Canderous, she knew that she didn't have the patience to put up with him and Carth together, and of course, Mission was who she was. Zaalbar crossed her mind briefly, but she realized immediately that a Wookie might not go over well. Once outside the enclave, she took some time to speak to the people there, including a kind older couple and a Jedi named Nemo, who was hardly more informative than Zhar had been and seemed offended when she asked if he was a master.

'Very conscious of his status, isn't he? Interesting.'

Then she came across Jon, who angrily explained the situation with the Mandalorians and his daughter. Alriah could feel the pain radiating from the man, and it was clear his rage was the only way he had to cope with his guilt and sense of loss. Still, the intensity of his emotions was overwhelming, and while she did her best to make it clear that she would not act out of revenge or on the full authority of a Jedi, she decided, and least within herself, that she would at least see what the Mandalorians were doing for herself, and if his story about one of the Mandalorians having lightsabers in his possession was true. Once again, as she had with the deaths on Taris, she felt responsible, as if somehow the Mandalorian mercenaries were there because of something she had done. 

'What is this feeling? How could I be responsible for them? During the war I was... where?'

Yet again the gaps in her memory became obvious, and while her mind tried to rationalize it, she knew something was wrong. She was not the type to claim responsibility for something she had not done, so the fact that her subconscious felt at fault somehow in this matter was significant. She fought back the reeling, pounding feeling again, this time prepared for it. She knew now that whenever she got too close to understanding such matters, the strangeness in her mind would force her back and away from those thoughts. It wasn't the dark or light presence. It wasn't a "presence" at all. Just a powerful barrier that was obviously not a part of her. It had been forced on her by another, and for now there was nothing she could do about other than learn what triggered it and what didn't.

'Patience leads to many answers. I just hope whatever this is doesn't get more brutal.'

Alriah and her companions walked out into the fields of Dantooine, only to be met by another settler, this one looking for her lost droid. The scout didn't need to be a Jedi to realize that there was something very off about Elise. The desperate need she had for her droid's return made her wonder about the woman's sanity. It was clear she was using it to replace her husband in ways that it was clearly not designed for. After agreeing to look for the droid (and privately deciding that if she found it there might need to be some sort of accounting), she walked away, noticing the kath hound on the ridge and waiting with wary patience until it howled, bringing a large pack down on them.

'Kath hounds shouldn't act that way. It's too aggressive, even for them. The Masters were right. There's something stirring them up.'

Her lightsaber flashed, and a kath hound whimpered pathetically, falling mid-leap. She turned, slashing another of the large canines open along one side. She didn't want to kill the animals, but as they surrounded her and her companions, she knew there was no choice. The energy they radiated was chaotic and violent, and that couldn't be reversed. Whatever had corrupted them did so unintentionally and crudely, and it had warped the creatures minds.

'I am sorry. Forgive me.'

She drew the prototype vibroblade she carried with her off-hand, remembering when she had found it on the Endar Spire. Just like now, all the death had been pointless but necessary. So, just like then, she fought. A larger horned kath hound moved to charge her and she danced out of its way, her vibroblade scoring it across the face while her lightsaber gutted a beast that was trying to break past her to Mission, who was already dealing with two of them. She flipped the blade around, jumping up and slashing hard, cutting the animal's head clean off. Her dark eyes closed as she instinctively sought and found the calm center within herself, and the battle became like a dream. There was no need for Force powers or fancy tricks. She stood in the center of a storm, surrounded on all sides by death, fear, anger, hate, and confusion.

_There is no chaos._

Her saber swept back and up, cutting through two hounds in one strike, and the storm around her became a song, a scream, a sigh. It was not chaos. It was a presence, a mind, a person. She just had to find that person. They were drowned in chaos, but not lost. Alone, but still there was hope.

_There is no ignorance._

This corruption stemmed from ignorance, but there was more. It was pain. It was despair. It was rage and self-loathing. It was guilt. It was death.

_There is no death._

Mission cried out, a bite from a kath hound bleeding freely. Alriah summoned the Force around her, sensing and healing her companions' wounds. 

_There is only the Force._

With a rush, Alriah swept through the remaining kath hounds, her blades whirling and slashing in time to the song. She knew that song. It was what called her to battle, and what told her when the battle was over. It was what allowed her to kill when needed and to show mercy when possible. It was the Force. It was herself.

_We are one._

It was Bastila too, there with her, and the shadow and the light. It was everything. It was nothing. They all watched and felt what she did. They saw through her eyes and felt with her soul.

_You are all_.

That message she didn't understand. How could any one be all? An individual was powerful, but could not be everything. But the Force was singing the words, and she had no choice but to hear and accept. One day it would be important. Today all she could clearly understand was that yet more blood was on her hands, yet more lives to add to the countless that she had ended or begun.

'What lives? What did I do! Who am I!'

There was no answer to her questions, and she didn't expect there to be. Only in battle, in the calm within the storm, did the barrier within her mind lift, but as soon as the battle was over, the barrier returned. 

'I said I would wait, and I will. But whoever has the answers to these questions will have much to answer for when this is over.'

Despite the lack of anger or anything other than focused interest and curiosity, she felt Bastila's fear through their bond. Without thinking, she reached out through it, projecting all the calm and reassurance she could. Bastila did seem to calm, but still there was that thread of fear, and of something else, something she tried desperately to hide. 

'You know the answers.'

Any reassurance she might have given was instantly gone with that thought, but Alriah just inwardly shook her head, sighing softly. Panic was rising in the younger woman, and for all that she did want answers, she cared too much for Bastila to press, or to not do all she could to reassure her. Sometimes she hated that she was so hopelessly attracted to the Jedi. 

'Enough, Bastila. There's nothing to worry about from me. I told you, I won't hurt you. I will not do anything to harm you. So please, please calm down.'

As she, Carth, and Mission continued exploring the plains of Dantooine, she let herself stay in contact with Bastila on a nearly constant basis. When they stumbled on another pack of kath hounds, she found herself surrounded by the beasts, and she could feel Bastila's concern. It almost made her smile to sense the young woman's fear for her, rather than of her. As she attacked the animals, she saw and sensed a flash of white approaching her at high speed. Pressed by kath hounds on all side, she was unable to turn and fight as a white giant slammed into her side just as she slammed a barrier down on her connection with Bastila. Pain erupted, and she found herself flying through the air and landing hard against something hard. Sensing danger, she forced her body to roll away. Her hand reached out, and she found her lightsaber falling into it. She flipped it on, slashing hard as a kath hound lunged for her throat. Blood spurted across her vision, but again she saw that deadly flash of white coming for her. 

_NO!_

'_ALRIAH!_'

Her black eyes flashed at the sound of those cries. Drawing on the power of the Force, she jumped up and slashed hard, cutting across the beast's eyes, blinding it. It stumbled around blindly, but before it could cause any more harm, she used Stasis on it, sheer strength of will keeping it from breaking free. With the beast frozen mid-lunge, she stabbed the huge albino through the chest, sensing the life fade from the beast as her lightsaber tore through its heart, instantly cauterizing the wound. As Stasis faded, the beast fell, her saber burning through its flesh as it collapsed. She leaned against its huge bulk, her lightsaber dangling from her fingers.

"Alriah? Hey, are you okay?"

That was Mission, of course. Carth started to move toward her, but something seemed to repel him. For a moment she didn't know if it was her own distaste for the man, or something Bastila had done, but then she felt the Jedi's presence rushing through her, strengthening her and taking the pain away. She smiled, forcing herself to straighten and tighten her grip on her weapons.

"I'm fine. I was only stunned."

'_Only stunned! Would there be any way you could understate that injury further!_'

'I'll be fine, Bastila. You needn't worry about me. Thank you for... for helping me. I needed it.'

Bastila couldn't hide her pleasure or surprise at the comment, but her concern and fear were the strongest emotions still. 

'_Don't you dare do that to me again!_'

'What? I apologize. I didn't mean to frighten you, Bastila.'

'_I am a Jedi! I..._'

She paused, obviously catching Alriah's amusement and doubt.

'_Be that way. Go on. You have a task to complete. You and I will speak more on this later. And use a medpac! Stubborn, infuriating woman..._'

Alriah chuckled to herself as Bastila's presence faded back into the background, leaving her to heal herself and continue. Shortly after, they stumbled across the first Mandalorians they had seen, bullying and then murdering a settler who offered his own wife and child for his own life. She could see how the Mandalorians and the Duros would overwhelm a farmer like Jon, but at least he hadn't been willing to sell his own family for his safety. They were strong, but sheer numbers also counted for a lot. As she fought the Mandalorians, Carth and Mission dealt with the weaker Duros. She was still a little weak from her encounter with the albino kath hound, but still no match for her. As she stood over the last of the men, she sighed softly, finding herself relieved that she'd decided against bringing Canderous. She didn't know how he'd feel about fighting his own people, and right now, tired as she was, she had no desire to find out. As they traveled, they also stumbled across another Jedi, Bolook, who had been put in charge of a murder investigation. 

'I did not expect the Jedi order to be so... diverse...' she caught herself thinking, and almost smiled. It wasn't the mix of races. That was to be expected, after all. It was the personalities of the Jedi. There were those like Belaya and Bastila, who were wounded, angry, and aggressive, and then there were those like Nemo, who had grown old and rather without the recognition or achievements he'd wanted. And now there was Bolook, who seemed to be rather bumbling and blustering. And there were, of course, the masters. Vandar seemed to be in a class of his own, though she could see that Vrook, at Bastila's age, could have been much like her, if not worse. Dorak seemed to have always been a scholar, and Zhar might once have been like Bolook, though she doubted it. 

'And this murder... with so many lies, it is actually rather clear what happened.'

After talking to the men and Bolook several times, she gave him her verdict: both men, Handon and Rickard were guilty of attempted murder. As she laid it all out for him, she could see the Jedi's eyes widening and a certain amount of awe enter his expression. She sighed softly. It really hadn't been all that difficult to figure out. Both men were poor liars.

"Damn you! Damn both of you!"

Alriah wanted to laugh but had the self-restraint not to. Mission, of course, was her usual self and could be heard giggling as the men were led away by the Jedi. Carth just seemed confused, but that was okay. It wasn't like she really needed him to understand what she was taking about. That done, she led her party on into another area. Here she could sense the core of the problem, but she also sensed that it wasn't time to deal with it yet. There was more to do. So she continued to explore instead, fighting through what seemed to be an army of enraged, warped kath hounds. Near the source of the darkness the trio stumbled onto another set of Mandalorians and Duros before they went on to the Sandral Grounds. There she found more kath hounds and Mandalorians, along with what appeared to be a cave from a distance. Interestingly enough, she also found a droid near the cave entrance. The hounds were attacking it, but as she cut through them, Alriah immediately noticed that it seemed to be provoking them. After speaking with him briefly, her eyebrow rose and she immediately saw the situation more clearly.

"You're Elise's droid, aren't you?"

It seemed startled, but she could understand its desire to be away from his mistress. In her grief she was treating him as a substitute for her husband, and that was not healthy for her in the least. When the droid asked to be destroyed, she seriously considered the options. She could force him to go back, but that would not serve Elise in the long run, and that had to be a priority. On the other hand, she liked droids and regretted that this one had to be destroyed. Still, she agreed, understanding that it really was the best way to help its aberrant mistress. With one swing of her lightsaber, she destroyed the droid, picking up a piece of it to show to Elise if she needed proof. Feeling a little more burdened, she and her companions made their way through the cave, fighting the kinrath. They looked like giant bugs, but despite their ugliness, Alriah could sense their lives flickering out under her blade, and she regretted the loss. They too, however, had been warped beyond all recognition.

'Forgive me...'

When she found the kinrath eggs among the crystal formations in the back of the cave, she let them be. These had not been corrupted. They had a chance. She had no right to take their lives. Instead she walked among the beautiful crystals, remembering a rumor she'd heard from Zhar that some of these crystals could be used in lightsabers. She found a few color crystals and other focusing crystals that would work in Bastila's lightsaber, along with her own. Once back outside in the light, she gave herself a chance to breathe before continuing on, realizing that the pace was grueling on Carth and Mission. Still, whether she realized it or not, Mission needed to be kept busy and active so she wouldn't fall into depression, and Carth's occasionally provocative comments kept her in the present, even if they were annoying. 

'I feel like I'm traveling with children.'

Still, when they came across a third group of Mandalorians, they fought well together, and she was glad she had them at her back. Even Carth. Something alerted her, a change in the song of the Force, and she turned back, heading back into that place of darkness and doubt. There she found the Mandalorians' leader, Sherruk, and he did indeed have a collection of lightsabers. She weakened the Mandalorian troops, then pulled back, drawing Sherruk away from her allies. The regular soldiers they could deal with, but he was dangerous. She wasn't even sure if her combat skills would be enough to counter this warrior. He had the advantages of size, weight, strength, armor, and familiarity with the terrain, though she was quickly coming to realize that Dantooine wasn't totally foreign to her. 

'This is going to be interesting...'

She felt Bastila start at that, and as Sherruk launched a leaping power attack at her, she closed her mind down hard, not wanting to risk Bastila experiencing the pain she knew she was about to go through. She caught his blade on her own and used his own momentum to get out of the way. Before he could catch his balance she swept past his guard and managed to score a hit along one arm, but had to pull back as his sword slashed down at her. His energy shield kept her lightsaber from being effective immediately, but she hit him with a flurry of attacks that weakened it considerably, but not enough. He lunched, using his sheer mass to unbalance her. Determined, she withstood the assault and pressed her own attack. He couldn't quite get the better of her, but she was tiring and he knew it. 

'Of course, I've been fighting all day and he's probably been relaxing. It's my own fault. I may as well deal with it.'

Seeing a weakened place in his shield, Alriah attacked it in earnest, breaking through it and cutting deeply into his shoulder. Had her lightsaber stuck the way a normal blade might have, he would have gutted her, but instead she was able to dance away. Still, his aim had been good and she felt his blade cut a slice just below her rib cage. He ended up overbalanced, however, and she took advantage, burying her saber in his back and through his chest, killing him instantly. He collapsed, leaving her to collect his lightsaber collection. She decided against facing the darkness just yet and instead went all the way back to the Enclave, using the workbench there to turn one of the red lightsabers he had carried into a yellow-bladed weapon for herself. She gave Mission her vibroblade, with the understanding that she might need it again some time. She also installed the crystals she had found, pleased with the results of her work.

'Finally I can really call this my own weapon.'

When she went to the Ebon Hawk to rest briefly, an enraged Bastila met her. 

"Just what do you think you were doing!"

Alriah frowned, wondering what the younger woman was talking about and asking as much. She suddenly found herself backed into a wall with an indignant, glaring Jedi looking up at her with an expression that even Sherruk might have found intimidating. All it did for her was make her want to smile, however. Bastila could be frightening, but something about the whole situation struck her as highly comical.

"You know what you did. You used a mental shield to temporarily block our bond. You did it twice, actually. And now you stand before me with the nerve to ask what I am so upset about?"

Any amusement faded almost immediately. Now she could understand at least some of Bastila's anger. If the other Jedi had locked her out in the middle of a desperate situation, leaving her no way to know if something terrible had happened until it was over, she might be upset as well. 

"I am sorry, Bastila... I simply did not want to risk you getting hurt if I did. I didn't mean to frighten you."

Her understanding seemed to only confuse and infuriate the woman further, and she stared up at her, sputtering, for a long moment before finding her voice again.

"Well, that is certainly an issue, of course, but... but you are important to... to the Council, and I... they... need to know how you are faring. After all, you are still only an apprentice."

Alriah smiled down at the smaller Sentinel, amused by her blustering and babbling. She could sense her embarrassment and confusion and decided not to press the issue, though she was tempted. When Bastila continued to babble about the Council and her importance to them, though, she couldn't resist, though she had to admit, if only to herself, that it hurt to see her denying any more personal interest in her well-being. She had read enough about Force bonds to know that only very strong attachments could create such bonds, and they had to be mutual. She had noticed several mentions of Revan forming strong bonds, and of another Jedi, one of her followers, who, along with Revan, formed very strong connections between herself and her soldiers. One important factor that came up over and over again, however, was that the attachment had to be mutual.

'So for Revan and this general of hers to be able to so easily forge connections, they would have had to care very deeply for life, all life, and connect very strongly to the Force. I can see how Revan would be dangerous in the Council's eyes if that were the case.'

Shaking her head, she interrupted Bastila's babbling, her dark eyes boring into purple-gray ones.

"Are you saying you wouldn't care if something were to happen to me, Bastila? If that is the case, than I am afraid I would prefer you simply leave me be."

She had rarely, if ever, been so blunt with the young Jedi, and it obviously took her off guard. She could feel Bastila's realization of her pain through the bond, and though it took something of an internal struggle, she did put aside her stern mask for a moment and let the confused, hurt young woman she was show through.

"Don't be foolish, Alriah," she answered with none of her usual acidic tone, "of course I care. You know as well as I do that we could not have formed a bond such as ours without mutual... concern... for one another. You are important to the Council, but... you have the right to know that you are also... important... to... to me. I would rather not see you in harms way, but should you be, I would rather be able to support you than be shut out and forced to wait helplessly for you to either open your mind again or... or die. How would you feel in my place?"

"Much as you do," Alriah answered softly, looking down at Bastila with a warm, grateful expression in her dark eyes, "and I thank you for being honest with me. I would rather not travel with those who cared more for my importance to a cause than they do for me. Especially if that person were to be you."

Bastila's eyes widened as understanding washed through her. She finally heard the pain in Alriah's voice and mind, and realized that she had caused it.

"I am... I am sorry. I did not mean to imply that you were unimportant. I should... I should return to the Council. They are probably awaiting the completion of your mission..."

Strangely, Bastila didn't move, despite her words. Instead she stood there, her body forcing Alriah's to stay pinned against the bulkhead, looking up at her with those odd, disturbed eyes.

"What is it?" she asked gently, not wanting to frighten the woman. It felt as if she was on some sort of precipice, just barely managing to keep herself on the side she had always known but so desperately wishing to explore what might be on the other side. It was a feeling she understood very well. She had faced it repeatedly since meeting Bastila, and now it was her turn.

"I... I do not know. I feel... I feel strange..."

The scout frowned, feeling her way through their bond to the strangeness Bastila was feeling, then smiled faintly. That too was a feeling she understood.

"You do not want to leave."

The Jedi looked at her sharply, but when she might have tried to flee, Alriah held her in place, embracing her tightly.

"You are afraid, Bastila. That is fine, but if you are afraid, it is better to give a name to what you fear. I have found that many things lose their power once named and identified."

"And what makes you think I am afraid now, Alriah Dakari!" Bastila retorted, trying and failing to summon her usual fire. It was rather difficult, however, when her traitorous body was leaning into the taller woman's embrace and she couldn't hide the sense of relief and comfort she was getting from having Alriah safe and close.

"You tell me, Bastila Shan."

The Jedi's eye's widened, and Alriah smiled. It had taken some research to find Bastila's surname, or if she even had one, but the results made it worth it. 

"How... I..."

Bastila shook her head and sighed.

"I suppose I should be accustomed to surprises from you, Alriah."

The scout smiled gently, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. Bastila, with a trancelike expression, reached up, her hand stroking the dark hair, then pulling out the small band that held her short tail in place, leaving the black hair to frame Alriah's face. The scout allowed it calmly, though she wished she could do the same to Bastila's hair. 

"What is it..." she started to say, then shook her head violently, "No. I... do not know what came over me. I am sorry, Alriah. I should... I should leave you to your mission." 

With that, the young woman fled, but she could not, or would not, hide her mind from the apprentice Jedi, and she knew that Bastila didn't really want to go, but she was afraid. Afraid of herself, and of Alriah. 

'You and I need to have a long talk one of these days,' she thought, knowing the thought reached Bastila. The Jedi seemed both fearful and hopeful of the prospect, and the older woman shook her head, leaving the ship with an echo of the feel of Bastila's small frame pressed against her own sustaining her. Carth and Mission rejoined her, though she really wanted to go alone to face whatever was to come. They wouldn't let her, however, and she didn't want them following her without her there to support them if they should be attacked. On her way back to the grove, she spoke with Jon, who was so grateful he offered 1000 credits. Alriah tried to persuade him to keep them for himself, but he wouldn't hear of it. She also spoke to Elise, who ran away crying after she gave her the news. She wanted to go after the woman, but she had run into the Enclave, and it wasn't as if she could harm herself there.

'Actually, I sense something good for her there... I'll come back later, I suppose.'

With Mission and Carth in tow, she traveled back to the grove, fighting off the few wandering kath hounds as they went. At a place that looked ancient, she found a young woman meditating and several Mandalorian corpses. That alone was enough to warn her to be very wary. The woman rose and approached, and even as she summoned the Force and put Mission and Carth in Stasis, she analyzed the woman who she sensed would shortly be her opponent. She was a Cathar, and a rather beautiful example of her kind. By human standards she wasn't the most attractive woman, but Alriah had spent most of her life among aliens, and knew how to recognize beauty when she saw it.

'Beautiful or not, she is Cathar, and they are unpredictable,' she reminded herself, remembering what she had read about the race and allowing her own instincts and the Force to guide her. 'She must be strong to have single-handedly fought and killed the Mandalorians. If she was a Jedi, she was probably a Guardian, a warrior. Cathar temperaments are not well suited to the Consular, and I do not feel that she would wish to be a Sentinel. They are much like cats in that they have little patience for what does not interest them.'

"I will be your doom!" the woman cried, just as she had finished her assessment of the woman. Prepared for the fierce attack, the Cathar's first strike was knocked aside. Alriah knew she hadn't been trained in fighting opponents with lightsabers, as none of those who had dueled with her had been willing to use them, but she felt her body respond immediately to the threat. As she and the cat woman circled and feinted, she was always cautious of that deadly red blade. One well-placed blow from that weapon could be the end of her, and she had entirely too much to do to die here. 

'Come, young Cathar. Let me understand your pain.'

Pain was what was clearly driving this woman's rage and hate, and much of it was directed at herself. It made her a wild fighter with very little concern for her own life, and that was a dangerous position for one's opponent to be in. For her part, Alriah dodged and feinted, finding herself once again in that place of perfect calm. She could sense the Cathar somewhere within the storm and reached out, wanting to see the pain that drove this woman. She saw a blue lightsaber flash and a different woman, one she didn't know, fall in agony. She felt the rage, guilt, and despair that came with that single strike, and understood. The Cathar loved this woman, whoever she was, and could not stand that she had caused her pain.

_There is no death..._

She blinked inwardly, trying to understand. She didn't sense that the woman had died, but the Cathar's thoughts were clearly centered on death, and being the cause of it.

'She thinks she killed this woman... I could be wrong, but I do not believe that is the case.'

Understanding allowed Alriah to see and predict what the Cathar would do, and she was prepared for it. She knocked the other woman's lightsaber aside and lightly scraped her sword arm, deliberately striking only hard enough to numb it from the intensity of the lightsaber's energy blade. Temporarily paralyzed, the Cathar could only watch as she calmly flicked the glowing blade to her throat. The cat woman sighed, surrendering. Once her red blade vanished, she turned off her own saber, waiting as the woman sized her up before speaking.

"You... you are strong. Stronger than me, even in my darkness."

She sounded very surprised and more than a little frustrated, but that was understandable. She had noticed that those who followed the dark side, or thought they did, thought themselves all-powerful.

"Who are you?" she asked, wanting to at least have a name, if not an identity.

"I am Juhani, and this is my grove. This is the place of my dark power. This is the place you have invaded. When I embraced the dark side, this was where I sought my solace. It is MINE!" the last was said in a very feline growl, but Alriah was unperturbed. Juhani seemed unwilling to fight her again, further adding to the conclusion that she was probably a Guardian. The Guardian's seemed to recognize when they fought a stronger opponent and backed off a bit to study them. The better ones did, anyway.

"You were a Jedi then?" she asked, rather unnecessarily, then added, "You embraced the dark side? Why?

Pain tore through her senses at the question, and when Juhani spoke, her voice was the angry, wounded growl of a cat forced into doing something she had not meant to.

"When I slew my master, Quatra, I knew I could never go back. And now I revel in my dark power. Power enough to crush the life from someone such as you..." Juhani paused, sighing again, her fierce yellow eyes sad, "or so I had thought."

"The dark side is never powerful enough," she commented, thinking back on all she had learned and seen that was evidence of that. Juhani shook her head, sighing wearily.

"What is it you want? Why do you bother me?

She considered her answer carefully, then decided on the simple truth. There was nothing to be gained by lying to the woman, and she preferred not to lie in any case.

"I was sent by the Council to cleanse the taint from this grove."

"The Council has sent you here to kill me? Why, then, when you bested me so easily, did you not simply finish your task? Is it not apparent that I can never be saved?"

Well that certainly wasn't true. If it were, the young woman would still be trying to kill her. She shook her head, saddened by how little value so many people seemed to put on their lives. Juhani was clearly loving and strong, and likely very good at whatever she set her full attention to.

"I do not hold anger towards you. I wish you peace, and I have absolutely no desire to kill you, Juhani."

The Cathar growled faintly, clearly frustrated and confused, too lost in her pain and regret to really hear her, even at her most persuasive.

"Not anger, peace... Yet even with your naive attitude you still managed to beat me..." the second part of her statement seemed to finally process, and Juhani started, shaking her head in surprise, "You... you do not?"

She shook her head again, and the tide of anger and self-loathing rose over her again.

"I am pathetic. I sit here and think myself to be great by embracing the dark side, but I am nothing! There is no way I could ever be turned back!" she paused, seeming to come back to herself, and continued on a different thought, speaking as much to herself as to Alriah, "I always thought they held me back, were jealous of my power. But it is only because I was never good enough to meet their standards... I never have been."

"Why are you even thinking like that?" the Jedi asked curiously, honestly interested. She was starting to see now an echo of something that traveled in the empty spaces between Juhani and another, one who loved her dearly. At first she thought perhaps it was Juhani's master, but it seemed to be coming from somewhere relatively nearby, and she thought that even lost in her grief and anger Juhani would be able to sense her master's presence.

"Why?" the young woman barked sharply, interrupting Alriah's tracking, her voice mocking and angry "Because I am right, that's why! I can see the truth in your eyes as well! Do not look at me again!"

She wondered just what it was that Juhani saw in her eyes that she feared so much and reached out, seeking answers and the other end of the connection Juhani was in no state to hear for herself.

'Where are you... you could save her...'

Surprised, she tracked it back to the Enclave, and understanding followed. She knew who ached for Juhani, and who the young woman feared to see. So she stood straighter and strengthened the connection between the Cathar and the one who sought her. Juhani visibly flinched under her knowing look, but she couldn't resist the aura Alriah had surrounded herself with, though her response was clearly unconscious.

"Come now, Juhani. You are a beautiful young woman who has much talent," she said softly, her voice taking on her own warmth and growing affection for the woman, the traces of emotion left by Quatra, her master, and the other's love for the fallen Jedi. She could clearly see Juhani wavering and questioning, and knew she had taken the right track.

"I thank you for your kind words, Jedi. It seems that I still have much to learn; about being a Jedi, and about myself," she started hesitantly, as if she might be forgiving herself, but Alriah could see that she wasn't quite ready to give in yet, and her words confirmed it. "But I wish that the cost of my ignorance had not been so high. I wish that my master had not suffered because of me."

"It is not your fault, Juhani."

The dark woman smiled as she said it, and she knew that Juhani wasn't seeing her any longer. She was seeing the past with her master and the other. 

"I only wish things could have been different... If she were alive now, there would be so much I would say to her... So much I would apologize for..." Juhani trailed off, misery driving her voice into a pained cry, "Oh, how can the Council ever take me back with what I have done? Striking down my Master in anger is unforgivable!"

"Do not worry, Juhani. They will surely take you back," she replied, speaking with a confidence she hadn't expected to have. She didn't know how she knew, but she was sure that the Order had accepted back wayward Jedi who had committed far worse crimes than Juhani. At that thought the shadow stirred, but before she could learn anything from it, it retreated again. She shook her head, forcing herself to focus on the matter at hand. 

"I should convince them that I am truly repentant, that I am willing to forsake the dark side. Maybe, just maybe, they would accept me back. Do you think they would? Could it be possible after what I have done?"

Finally Juhani started to sound hopeful, and the older woman smiled, letting herself relax somewhat. She knew this wasn't over, but the worst was, and it was getting rather draining to project the emotions of two people over her own, especially given that they weren't people she had a connection with. If it had been Bastila, there would have been no difficulty, but Quatra and the other were not well known to her.

"Of course it would. They would always accept you back."

The answer seemed to appease something within the young Cathar, and Alriah was forcefully reminded of a kitten she had once raised that had desperately needed reassurance when trying something it found fearful or difficult.

"I... I thank you, master Jedi," Juhani replied, her voice almost reverent, "I will return to the Council, then. I shall submit myself to their judgment, and hope that they will forgive me. Again, I thank you. I am sure I will hear great things about you in the future."

As the Cathar rushed away, freeing Carth and Mission in the process, she couldn't help but wonder just what she had done to deserve that response. She'd only told the truth. She'd done nothing that seemed worthy of reverence.

'I don't want to be revered or admired...' she commented to herself, 'especially not by someone who feels so deeply. If I were to hurt Juhani, she would be wounded far more deeply. But how to stop her from doing so... I have no idea. And trying might hurt her too.'

The thought bothered her. She truly didn't seek admiration, reverence, or worship. She found those things rather uncomfortable, actually. She thought about the problem the entire way back to the Enclave, unwilling to accept that simply doing the right thing was enough to evoke such a strong reaction in another.

'_Alriah?_'

'Yes, Bastila?'

'_Do you really believe that what you did was such a simple thing?_'

She frowned, surprised to hear such a question from Bastila. 

'Of course I do. Anyone could have talked Juhani down. She just needed some kindness.'

'_You did much more for her than that, Alriah, and that is why she admires you so. If you should get the chance to learn more about her, I believe you will see the full impact of what you have done today._'

'Did I do her harm somehow?' she asked, even the connection between them insufficient for her to understand the strange tone to Bastila's thoughts. She didn't think she had done wrong with Juhani, but she had a vague sense of experiencing times when kindness could be more harmful than any other approach. She knew that Bastila wasn't the one who had made her aware of that concept, but she was starting to wonder if perhaps the young Jedi followed that philosophy. Her emotions were reassuring, and her thoughts were more so.

'_No, no, certainly not. I believe Juhani needed what you have now provided her. Hope. All I ask is that you learn about Juhani. I did not bring this up to criticize you. I simply do not want you to underestimate the importance of what you have done. Talk to Juhani and the Masters._'

'I will, Bastila.'

Bastila's presence lingered uncharacteristically, and she frowned inwardly, wondering if there was something wrong. 

'Bastila?'

The younger woman seemed to shake herself inwardly and come back to herself. 

'_Yes?_'

'Are you... is there anything else you needed?' she asked cautiously, wondering where Bastila had gone for that moment and unwilling to push her back to wherever that was. 

'_No... no, nothing. Go on. You should finish your task._'

The dismissal might have been annoying if it weren't given so distractedly. Aware that whatever the issue was would need to wait until she wasn't traveling or in the company of her party, she let it be. She didn't want to, but there was obviously something very wrong and she didn't want to start working on something she couldn't finish. That would be like abandoning Bastila, and she would not, could not, do that. For whatever reason, the woman had rapidly come to mean everything to her.

'All right, Bastila, as you say.'

The younger woman seemed to sigh, though whether in relief or something else she wasn't sure. Shaking her head to clear it, she traveled the rest of the way to the Enclave. On the way in, she noticed Belaya hovering near Juhani, who was clearly waiting in the central park. She moved to approach the young Cathar, but Belaya approached her first, the pain and terror in her eyes greatly diminished, though the longing was still there.

"You have done a great thing," she said, her voice still a touch arrogant and cold, but much warmer than it had been. "One of our own had strayed, but you have returned Juhani to the Order. For this you deserve the highest praise."

Alriah nodded solemnly, but Bastila, even in her distracted state, couldn't ignore her amusement.

'_Are you laughing at the girl, Alriah?_'

'At her? Perhaps, but not really. More at how like... someone else... she is.'

The dark woman would have rather had Bastila realize what she was talking about and go into one of her tantrums rather than the distracted agreement she got. Sighing slightly, she gave Bastila a sad smile and pulled back, needing to focus on Juhani for the moment. She could feel Carth stirring at the sight of her, but decided to ignore him for now.

"I must give you my thanks," Juhani commented softly as she approached "Because of you, I am once again welcome within the Jedi Order."

"I'm just glad I could help," she replied, smiling gently at the Cathar. Curious, she asked, "Have you spoken to the Council? Did you learn anything more about Quatra?"

"I have spoken to the Council, and they have helped me see the truth. The truth about myself, and the truth about my actions," the younger Jedi replied. The answer was somehow disturbing to Alriah. She respected the Masters, but they were not all knowing, and clearly something had already gone wrong with Juhani's relationship with them. From what Bastila had said, the Cathar was probably misunderstood. Juhani was not human, and could not be trained in the same way. If she was being trained in the same way as most of the other races, she could see why the young woman would feel the dark side was the better option. 

"Quatra's injuries were not so severe as I first believed. I was foolish to believe I could harm a Master such as she with my... my clumsy efforts," Juhani continued, oblivious to her thoughts, though she was confirming some of Alriah's theories. The suggestion that her fighting skills were clumsy, however, was ridiculous. Juhani had the grace and speed of a cat, and even enraged and ambivalent she had been skilled. Clearly Quatra was either a Guardian, or what her research had indicated would be named a Weaponmaster. To fight Juhani in a full rage and survive would take a great deal of strength, skill, and determination. Juhani went on, unaware of Alriah's analysis. "The fierce confrontation between us was nothing more than a part of my training. Quatra wanted me to understand the threat of the dark side, to see how easy it was to fall from the path of the light. 

"So where is Quatra now?" she asked, deciding not to say what she really wanted to, which was something about how dangerous that was for everyone involved. She did agree with Juhani's master, but she didn't agree with how the Council had handled it. Sending a barely trained apprentice could have cost Juhani much more than she had already lost. Loss was etched in every movement, every word, and she had yet to realize that someone not far away was very much in love with her. If she hadn't talked Juhani down, the Order and the galaxy would have lost one who could have been one of the next great weaponmasters.

"After our last battle, Quatra had nothing left to teach me. I needed time alone to explore the turmoil of my own spirit. Only then was I ready to follow a guide - you - back to the light. When I left, Quatra knew her work with me was done. There are other disciples who need training throughout the galaxy, and she could not stay to see if I passed this most difficult trial," the Cathar answered, and Alriah was curious as to whether she was answering with the explanations the Council had given her or with her own opinions. She guessed it was likely a mix of both. Juhani was certainly intelligent enough to come to her own conclusions, but she was doubtful and untrusting of herself, which meant she was more likely to trust someone else's opinion than her own.

"With your help, I have passed this difficult trial. The Council now feels that I am ready to continue my training, though they have asked me to wait here for the time being."

Carth turned at that, looking between the two Jedi and frowning disapprovingly. Alriah waited, knowing whatever he had to say would probably be arrogant and something you'd only hear from a career soldier who had learned to stop really thinking and assume that his orders and opinion were the end all and be all.

"First the Jedi trick you into becoming an enemy, then they welcome you back as a friend. I can't say I approve of their training methods."

Juhani glanced at him, glanced at her, then shook her head. Already her opinion of the Cathar was rising. She had clearly picked up on the need to occasionally ignore others, particularly Carth Onasi.

"I do not know what the Council has in store for me, but I will trust in the Force and the way of the Jedi to help me through whatever is to come."

That was an improvement as well. She didn't say she trusted the Council implicitly, which she approved of. She could see that Juhani was very intelligent, but for now was frightened and unsure. That should end in time, and she was hopeful she'd get to see how the woman would progress from here on.

'One day I'll find out what Bastila meant,' she decided as she walked away. As she roamed the Enclave, she stumbled on Elise, who had found herself in the company of a man named Samnt. She wished them the best, then went to report to the Council, amused by how quickly the woman had recovered now that she was in the company of humans. She gave Juhani and the hovering Belaya a smile on her way in, but the smile quickly faded as she entered the Council chambers, choosing to speak to Vandar before Zhar, though she admitted to herself that was as much for a chance to see Bastila as to speak to the Master. Vandar, when she approached him, nodded rather more warmly than usual, and she smiled, glad to have earned a little more of his respect. While it was true that the Masters were not all knowing, Master Vandar was wise and patient, and she respected him and his opinion.

"It is good to see Juhani has returned to the way of the light. You are to be commended for your role in this. Your actions give us great hope for the future. Go to Master Zhar and inform him that Juhani has returned to us. I think you may be nearing the end of your apprenticeship."

The statement was without prejudice or judgment, and she respected that too. His careful neutrality was a quality she hadn't seen in the other Masters, though Zhar and Dorak tried, in their own ways, to emulate it. Nodding again to the master and giving Bastila a long look, she started to leave, but Master Vrook stopped her.

"I must congratulate you on your actions. You have saved Juhani and brought her back into the Order, and have given us all great hope for your future success. May the Force be with you as you continue your training."

She frowned slightly, wondering what he wasn't saying, but continued to the training room to speak with Master Zhar. When he saw her, he smiled warmly, looking as proud as a mother and trying not to. She couldn't help but be somewhat charmed by his enthusiasm, though she thought he was a little ridiculous. Still, he had done his best with her training and she knew she had learned much from him.

"You have done well, my pupil. The ancient grove has been purified, and Juhani's journey down the dark path has been halted. Because of you she walks once more in the light," he started, but then his expression darkened, "But though she was saved, do not dismiss what happened to her. Juhani is both dedicated and true to the ideals of the Order, yet she was still vulnerable to the dark side. As are we all. She struck her master in anger during training, and injured her greatly."

His tone made her wonder if perhaps one of his own worst fears was having a student turn on him. He had undertaken her training when clearly there was a great deal of doubt and debate about her, and she could easily have turned the lessons he had taught back on him. From duels, she knew he was a skilled fighter, but she thought it was probably that she could defeat him. He likely knew that as well, if not better, than she did. When he sighed and shook his head, she could see the slight quiver in his headtails that indicated his nervousness draining away.

"But it was Quatra's choice to test Juhani this way, and it seems to have made its point. Juhani has been redeemed, and you have passed your final test. Congratulations, apprentice."

He chuckled, reaching out to shake her hand.

"Or should I say congratulations, Padawan? You have proven yourself worthy of joining the Jedi. Let me be the first to welcome you as a full-fledged member of our Order!"

With another pleased smile, he walked away to rejoin the other masters. She followed, wanting to know what her next task would be. As they explained the task before her, she looked from one to another, knowing there was more to what they were asking than what they said, and she could sense that Bastila knew this too. Carth seemed prepared to object, but she shot him a look to silence him. She had gotten near the ruins they wanted her to go to, and while she hadn't sensed purely dark side energy, she also didn't sense that it was a welcoming place for those following the path of light. When Alhan Matale entered demanding justice for his missing son, she found herself relieved. She didn't feel it was right to go there just yet, and the shadow within her agreed. She had to admit to a certain amount of concern for Nemo, however. The old Jedi had been sent ahead of her and apparently died, and she wondered if that was the disturbance she'd felt on her way here.

'So I will deal with the family feud first, then go on to the temple and find out what happened to Nemo.'

She had a good sense of what to expect initially from the shadowy place from her vision, but she was sure that Revan had left some kind of trace there, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. When Bastila chose to join her, she found herself relieved to have her company, even if she was still rather distant. She took a moment to add some of the focusing crystals to Bastila's double-bladed lightsaber, then led the way out into the fields once again, prepared to do whatever was necessary to clear up this apparently meaningless family feud. Carth was accompanying them, and once again she wished her party was a little more cohesive. T3 wouldn't do well here, and neither would Zaalbar. Canderous would be fine, but she wanted Bastila with her and the two of them did not mix. Neither did Mission or Carth, but since she and Bastila both specialized in melee combat, Mission's presence would have been more redundant than useful. While it was true she could handle blasters with skill, she didn't like to. She had grown rather fond of her twin lightsabers, and while in the off-hand the long blade was slightly unbalanced, she compensated easily, feeling very comfortable with the weight of the twin weapons in her hands. 

'Once more into the troubles of the world,' she thought to herself, and apparently despite herself, Bastila seemed to agree.


	5. A Life in Flux and All Life Touched

Disclaimers: I don't own the rights to KotOR or its characters

Disclaimers: I don't own the rights to KotOR or its characters. Don't sue. Trust me, big waste of time. I'd just have to send my 120-pound husky/rottweiler mix after you. Just kidding. Probably.

So, why is it that no one thinks it's strange that the main character doesn't have any time to rest or relax between when she saves (or kills) Juhani and when she has to go solve the Matale and Sandral feud and deal with the ruins? The game never shows your character getting any actual rest or even implies that she gets tired. I find that irritating. It's not like I want my character dozing off or something, but it seems like someone other than Bastila occasionally, and very rarely Master Vandar, should acknowledge that you've worked damn hard.

Okay, so that's my rant. Sorry. That was annoying me. Anyway, read and review. Reviews tell me what people want to see. If I don't get feedback, well... I can't exactly read minds. If anyone has suggestions, comments, or criticism, I take all that seriously. Flames are generally amusing, so those are welcome too, I suppose, but they're not exactly constructive.

Now that all of that is out of the way, on with the story.

**Dakari: The Real Story**

**Chapter 4: A Life in Flux and All Life Touched**

'Sometimes,' Alriah commented to herself, watching the invisible storm clouds gather around Carth, 'the safety of numbers is offset by the need for a little peace and quiet.'

The thought seemed to amuse Bastila, but the smile that was beginning to show on her lips vanished when she waited for Carth to wander a little ways off, his interest caught by something a little ways out of their way. The walk to the Matale estate was long and rather dull, even with the sprinkled kath hound attacks to make it more interesting, and she had questions that begged for answers.

"How can I help?" Bastila asked guardedly, her gaze wary and more than a little fearful. Alriah sighed, hating to be looked at with such fear by this particular woman, but she knew what she had to ask would touch on things Bastila felt she had to guard with everything she was, even at the expense of herself and others.

"I want to talk to you about that dream," she started mildly, not wanting to alarm Bastila any more than she had to. She knew enough about the whole thing to know it was much more than a dream, but she hoped that if the younger woman didn't know how much she knew already, she might be more honest, or reveal something she didn't know. 

"It was less of a dream and more of a vision... a vision the two of us shared. But I am certainly willing to answer any questions the Jedi Council did not."

Alriah couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh, cry, or just get down on hands and knees and beg the woman to stop looking at her like she was about to transform into some kind of monster and rip her apart. All she wanted was some information, and admittedly some alone time with the young Jedi, but that was beside the point. It was just such a pleasure to listen to Bastila's voice when she wasn't insulting her or making demands. Even her "lecture the child" voice, as Alriah found herself thinking of it, was charming in its way. And Bastila did have such an interesting accent. No one she had met sounded quite like her. 

"Do you think we'll receive more of these visions?" she asked curiously, hoping the neutral question might draw Bastila out a little. In any case she rather thought they would, but she wanted to hear what the other woman's thoughts were on the matter. If she would share them, that is.

"With luck we will," she answered firmly, but her purple-gray eyes were distant and unhappy. "I would rather not rely on such visions to guide us, but when we have so little else to go on and the galaxy hangs in the balance..."

The young Jedi trailed off, her face a mask of pain and regret. Alriah didn't know what had caused it, but from the stirring of the shadow within her, she could begin to guess. With an inward sigh, she plunged on, wanting to see how her theories held up against Bastila's.

"Why did we dream of Malak and Revan?"

"Perhaps because we desired to," she replied softly, though from her expression the older woman could tell that Bastila had mixed feelings about that idea, "Perhaps because they came to this planet and were strong enough in the Force to leave a... a trace."

"Well, I certainly didn't want to dream about them," she muttered to herself. While she was extremely curious about Revan and her own connection to the former dark lord, she would rather have known nothing if it meant not causing Bastila such distress. Malak was important if only as their current enemy, but he seemed predictable, frightened, and weak. Revan hadn't seemed to be any of those things.

"That would not be my first choice either, but choice appears to be irrelevant in this matter."

Bastila's rueful response almost made her smile, but as black eyes met purple-gray, both women understood how painful that conclusion was to them both. They couldn't protect themselves or each other from this, and while that brought them closer together, it also put yet another barrier between them.

"What do you mean by a 'trace'?" Alriah asked, wanting to get away from the subject of choices. For whatever reason, that was dangerous ground for them both. The return to the more analytical line of questioning seemed to reassure the smaller Jedi, and she took a moment to think about her answer.

"They did something important here, of that I am certain. It may be simply that we are sensitive to that event. Or it may not."

Bastila shrugged, then continued on in a more brisk tone, her stern mask once again in place over her emotions. 

"We dreamed of Revan and Malak either because we were meant to or because we needed to. There is no other way to look at it."

The dark woman shook her head, disagreeing, but aware that if she pushed the subject, Bastila would close up on her again. Instead, she thought of another question that she thought she already had the beginnings of an answer to, but wanted to hear the response to anyway.

"What do you think Malak and Revan were doing?"

"I have no idea," Bastila answered, and while Alriah sensed that she knew more than she was telling, somehow she was sure that the other Jedi really wasn't sure enough to even attempt a more complete answer. "It was obviously important, however. That is why we must investigate this further.

"I have another question," the scout said when Bastila looked like she might turn away from her. Carth was coming back, and she wanted to get as much information and time out of this as possible.

"What would you like to know?"

"I still don't understand why we shared this 'vision'."

"Are you wondering why we shared the vision? Or why we even received it in the first place?" Bastila asked in return. Alriah just smiled faintly, knowing the woman wasn't really asking her. She was asking herself more than anything, though her answer was directed at her. "To the first I can only repeat the answer that the council gave us. Our fates are linked, and for two as strong as we are in the Force that amounts to a near-physical bond." 

Bastila paused for just a spit second, then hurried on. Through the aforementioned bond, the dark woman could sense that her companion was both disturbed and almost hungry, as if the connection between them was something she feared and greatly desired. She set her mind to determining what was going on beneath the surface while outwardly focusing on what her self-proclaimed "teacher" was saying as she rushed on.

"As to the second, I don't truly have an answer for you. The Force works as it will, and perhaps we should be grateful for what we've been given."

Well, Alriah was certainly grateful, but she didn't need her senses to know that Bastila was unsure about it. It saddened her, but she still had hope that some day she and Bastila could work through whatever was between them, and the bond, and their relationship, would be a welcome thing.

"But how did our fates become linked?"

Bastila's eyes widened and Alriah was nearly overwhelmed by the sheer terror and agony radiating from her companion. Without thinking she used the Force to create another distraction for Carth, wanting to give the wounded Sentinel a chance to recover herself before he returned.

"I... I don't know. Believe me, I certainly don't find the prospect of being joined to you enjoyable in any fashion."

"Well, thanks a lot," she replied, unable to keep herself from sounding just a little bitter. Again those eyes widened, and if she wasn't much mistaken, they seemed to be just a little lost, almost like a child who had suddenly found itself alone on an alien world. She instantly regretted her tone, but Bastila's next words reassured and amused her.

"Please forgive me. I did not mean to imply that you were repulsive in any sense of the word. That we shared something so personal is just not something I'm used to."

The mixed messages from that were confusing, but Alriah decided to focus on the simple facts that Bastila not only didn't find her repulsive in some way, but might actually be attracted to her, and that the young Jedi often found herself alone and friendless, without someone to share her thoughts and emotions with. If she could get the woman to trust her a little more, maybe she could become that person.

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you being in my dreams," she whispered out of Bastila's hearing range. When Bastila reacted, she realized she had forgotten to shield the thought from the woman, and while mildly embarrassed, couldn't help finding her indignant expression and faint blush cute.

"And are you so certain that it is not you in my dreams?"

Bastila's blush darkened at the implication of her own words and at the older Jedi's soft mental chuckle, but she had dug herself in too deep to pull back now.

"Pretty certain, yes," she teased, and once again Bastila blushed. Apparently deciding to take the whole conversation at face value rather than deal with the subtext, Bastila shook her head and glared.

I see. That is most likely vanity speaking, for I am not certain, myself."

"I suppose it's possible it's the other way around. I could be in your dreams, I suppose."

Holding herself rigidly, the Padawan forced herself not to blush, though Alriah found the struggle rather pointless. She was so busy controlling her expression that her mixed, confused thoughts were broadcasting loudly across their bond.

"Regardless of which it is, our fates are linked... the vision was doubtless meant for us both."

The older woman restrained her laughter with a much more subtle effort, deciding to let the subject drop for now. She certainly had been given some interesting signals from her companion, but she knew better than to press the advantage now, when Bastila was so close to locking down on her again. She knew patience had its place and time, and that time was now.

"It just seems a little... convenient," she commented, clearly startling the Jedi, who had obviously expected her to go on teasing her. Bastila forced herself back into her "teacher" self, clearly confused by Alriah's sudden withdrawal into the discussion. Still, she recovered herself admirably and gathered her thoughts, once again in control. 

"The Force often seems to cause events that bend the laws of probability, especially with those that are strongly affiliated with it. In this respect, you and I will simply have to become accustomed to such 'convenience'. We are the tools of the Force and we will do as it wills."

There was something very strange to Alriah about that comment. She had felt the Force, immersed herself in it, and had not felt that it saw her as a tool. She in no way disputed that the Force was alive and had a will of its own, but her impression had been that the Force saw all life as an extension, a manifestation of itself, with each being given its own unique set of choices and paths. The Force did not guide. It aided. Or at least that's what she had felt. She wondered if Bastila believed differently.

"We have no free will of our own, then?"

The young woman shook her head, her expression taking on a hazy, dreamy quality. Alriah felt her mind relax and realized that she was, as Alriah had on the rare occasions she'd had the time to do so, just letting the flow of the Force ebb and rise around her.

"Quite the contrary," she answered finally, bringing a smile to Alriah's lips. It would have been sad indeed if something as loving and undemanding as the Force were to be seen as a slaver or something to that effect. "Ours is the ultimate free will. The Force is our destiny, but the choices we make along it are ultimately our own."

"That's all I wanted to know," she replied, pleased by the way the conversation had gone. She wished she could continue, but Carth was coming back and she didn't feel it would be right to distract him the same way again.

"As you wish. We really should turn our thoughts to business, anyway."

Bastila had also noticed Carth's impending return, and apparently agreed that any further discussion would have to wait, which seemed to be a source of some relief for her. 

'I wish it weren't so hard to talk to her,' the scout muttered to herself, and was mildly surprised to find the thought echoed by Bastila's mind. It was obvious that the woman had a difficult time conversing with her, but the question was why. She was starting to piece the puzzle together, but she knew she was missing some very key information. Before she could really reflect on it, she sensed a disturbance nearby and without conscious thought threw her offhand lightsaber. The whirling blade swept past Bastila's face and sliced through a kath hound like a guillotine before returning to her hand. The young Jedi, who had been watching her, turned in time to see the hound fall into two pieces in the middle of a lunging attack at her.

'How did I let it get that close?' Alriah demanded of herself. If her aim had been off, if her timing had been wrong...

'_It wasn't._'

She shook her head, startled to hear Bastila's voice in her mind, speaking so calmly.

'Bastila, I... I apologize. I didn't mean to-'

'_Frighten me? We are connected, Alriah. I felt you move. I knew what had happened. Though it is strange that neither of us sensed that kath hound approaching until just a moment ago._'

Alriah felt around the area, searching for any reason she would have been blinded, and frowned.

'Carth. When he got close to the two of us his emotions momentarily blinded our senses. He has something on his mind, Bastila. Or many things, more likely. Until he gets them off his chest, he'll be a liability to us.'

'_Then I suppose we should simply deal with whatever it is he has to say. I would rather not repeat that experience._'

When Alriah might have apologized again, Bastila lifted a hand to silence her.

'_Do not let it upset you, Alriah Dakari. I am... grateful... for your intervention. I might have been seriously wounded without it. So please, let us move on. Do not concern yourself with it. I am unharmed thanks to you._'

It was much more than she had expected from the woman, and much more than she felt she deserved. Nonetheless, she knew they needed to carry on, and she forced herself to experience her emotions rather than fight or ignore them. No matter what the Jedi said, something within her knew that constantly fighting emotions was pointless, but letting them be experienced then set aside was productive and calming. She could feel Bastila's fear and confusion at the idea, but shook her head, turning instead to watch Carth apparently find the words he was looking for.

"Bastila, did you ever think about joining all the Jedi who were running off to follow Revan and Malak when they went to fight the Mandalorians?" he asked finally, almost managing to sound simply curious, but it was clear to both Jedi that there was something more behind the question.

"That was nearly five years ago. I was still an apprentice, my Battle Meditation hadn't even manifested itself," she replied cautiously, sounding reasonably calm outwardly, but Alriah could hear and see the tension in her voice, body, and thoughts, and something that might have been guilt or regret... or both, "Yet even then I had the wisdom to obey the will of the Council. Unlike Revan."

That last made Alriah turn her attention away from Carth immediately. The reply itself had been firm and confident enough, with a good dose of her typical arrogance, but her thoughts were anything but. She obviously had very mixed feelings on the issue, and Carth bringing it up clearly wasn't helping. 

"I guess," the soldier answered reluctantly, but the Jedi could see he had more to say, "Still, do you ever wonder if things could have been different? Would Revan and Malak still have been corrupted if the Council had supported them instead of dragging its feet?"

For just a split second, Bastila froze completely. Even her thoughts had frozen somehow. The older woman started toward her, but then she seemed to recover, though her thoughts were fragmented and pain-ridden. Her voice came out angry and annoyed, and she was, but not for the reasons she seemed to imply.

"Do not blame Revan's 'corruption' on the Council! Your Republic saw only the threat of the Mandalorians, but the wisdom of the Masters saw beyond the immediate threat.

"What did they see, exactly?" Alriah asked softly, somewhat curious but more interested in stalling Carth to give Bastila a chance to calm herself. As things were, the woman was on a precipice of some kind, and she didn't want to see what would happen if she were forced over. Bastila seemed to understand, and gave her question a thoughtful, reflective answer.

"There was something lurking out there, something that devoured Revan and Malak - and many other Jedi," the younger Jedi turned to Carth, apparently regaining her stride. "Had the Council sent us all into the unknown, how many more would have fallen?"

It was a pretty good come back, Alriah noticed, though she found the way Bastila said Revan's name disturbing somehow. It was as if every time she spoke of the Dark Lord's fall, something tried to hold her back, make her say something else. Was it possible she didn't believe the Council's, specifically Vrook's, version of events as well? She had been there when Revan had been defeated. Had she said something that seemed to prove otherwise?

"So you're saying we should have done nothing!" Carth demanded, interrupting Alriah's thoughts just as the pounding from that barrier in her mind was beginning to become difficult to bear, "Just let the Mandalorians conquer us unopposed? I mean, the Republic was under attack, and the Order abandoned us!"

She couldn't decide whether to hit the man or be grateful, and settled for being mildly annoyed. It was clear she was getting somewhere whoever had built the barrier didn't want her to go, but each time she encountered it, she learned more about what it hid, and about how it might someday be broken. She shook her head as emotions stormed through her, so focused on the barrier that it took a moment for her to realize that the emotions weren't her own, and that Bastila was replying to Carth's accusations.

"We did not abandon you! But the Council were not about to throw lives away foolishly. In time, we would have aided you against the Mandalorians. But you couldn't wait. Revan and Malak offered a quicker answer, and the Republic chose to walk the easy path rather than the path of wisdom. Now we see the results all around us..." Bastila paused just long enough to take a breath, glaring daggers at the soldier. Her mind was in chaos, however, and Alriah knew that whatever she was going to say next, while not quite a lie, would not be the whole truth either.

"You asked me if I think things could have been different? I know they could have. If Revan had only listened to the Council, millions of innocent people would still be alive."

'_If Revan had listened... no, if she hadn't listened... if she hadn't seen..._'

The thought came almost at the same time as the young Sentinels speech, momentarily disorienting the scout.

'Who, Bastila? Who did Revan listen to?'

Bastila's mind locked down then, but once again, not completely. It was as if she was afraid to be alone in her own mind. Feeling the other woman's chaotic emotions, Alriah wasn't surprised.

"Yeah, right. And every single one of them would be speaking Mandalorian," Carth muttered irritably, turning away, "I think we're done here. Let's just get back to the task at hand."

They did, but in complete silence. Bastila didn't respond to any of Alriah's silent, tentative questions, and Carth apparently was too busy stewing to say anything, so everyone lapsed into silence. When they reached the Matale estate, the short conversations they managed to have with Ahlan Matale was unproductive, though it said much about the man himself. His estate was guarded by armed war droids, and he hadn't allowed them inside his home, instead coming out to meet them with another brace of droids. He was obviously paranoid and almost irrationally angry. What she found most interesting was that he seemed less concerned about his son than the fact something he thought of as 'his' had been taken.

'Bastila, you've been on Dantooine much longer than I. Has he always been this way, or is it more recent?' she asked, watching the old man walk away with his droids, unwilling to risk being overheard by the watching security droid. 

'_It's hard to say_,' Bastila replied, also watching the man, '_Ahlan Matale has grown more paranoid with time, especially about anything related to Nurik Sandral, but this does seem somewhat... excessive... Why do you ask?_'

'I have a feeling,' she answered slowly, 'It's hard to explain. It just seems... something about his attitude was familiar... it reminded me of the kath hounds, only more... inherent. It was as if something within him was so warped and twisted that he's forgotten that it wasn't always that way. As if...'

She paused, shaking her head, her eyes unfocused, seeing past the estate walls, past the plains and the hills, to something else. Dark hair fell across her eyes, but somehow it became part of what she was seeing, the shadow of a fractured world... a core of darkness bonded to a core of light.

'_Alriah?_'

She wanted to turn toward the voice, but her body and mind weren't in her control. Instead that voice seemed to move away while the vision moved closer. She was dimly aware that she was still moving, still walking, but all of that seemed very far away. 

'As if he's gone to war with himself... all the echoes, all the broken worlds, the dead... they echo through the Force... the Force binds all... one life in chaos... one life destroyed... all lives are touched... his hate... his rage... could destroy everything around him...'

'_**ALRIAH!**_'

The mental scream coincided with an awareness of danger, of movement, and she blinked, surprised to find a kath hound frozen in place, her hand extended toward it. With a movement that was more habitual than planned, she cut into the beast with her lightsaber, killing it. She shook her head, confused, the vision replaced by the rolling plains and her companions. Around them were the corpses of a large pack of kath hounds, most of them dead at her feet. 

'_ALRIAH!_'

She turned, looking over her shoulder at Bastila. 

'Huh? What... what happened?'

Bastila stared at her, her emotions running from confused to angry to completely terrified.

'_What happened? What happened? How can you ask me that! You go off and vanish into some place even our bond can barely reach, and you ask me what happened!_'

Now completely confused and rather shaken, Alriah looked around, noticing the corpse of a settler nearby. She jogged over to it, but in her mind she was still trying to focus on figuring out what had just occurred.

'Bastila... I apologize. I didn't mean to frighten you, but please... what did you sense just now?'

'_You were gone. Just... vanished somehow. Where did you go? I could barely sense you, even through our bond._'

'I think... I think I saw... Ahlan Matale... but not... I... no. I saw the heart of Dantooine.'

'_What!_'

'I don't know how to explain it. I was wondering why he seemed so familiar, but... I saw something else. I saw him, then the echoes spreading from him, all over the world, then the galaxy. The Master's say all things are connected through the Force. I don't know if they realize how right they are. Ahlan Matale's hate touches even the furthest reaches of the galaxy. I see now why Master Vandar wanted us... me... to take this mission when another Jedi could have.'

Even as they traveled, Bastila continued to stare at her, confused and vaguely frightened. The older woman sighed, pained to see that look on Bastila's face again. 

'I... I'm sorry, Bastila. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be distracted. We... we should go on.'

Turning away, she started to run, sensing more kath hounds nearby. Drained and tired as she was, she knew she couldn't have stopped... whatever that had been... from taking over, but... she was responsible for the people who traveled with her. Bastila might have been the senior Jedi, but she knew everyone would defer to her if the time came for hard decisions. She couldn't afford to let her concentration slip. 

_**You didn't, you know.**_

She started slightly as the shadow appeared in her mind just as she was shoving a kath hound away from Carth's throat. She hadn't heard that voice for a while now, and hearing from it now was a surprise.

'What do you mean?'

_**Your concentration was unaffected, Alriah Dakari. You saw the kath hounds. You still fought and won. You also learned something valuable. Do not confuse the Force's lessons with some failure of your own. The Force would never endanger you. As for your exhaustion, you can see that you have done much despite it. I will remind you, however, that you are injured. You need to rest. Once you have accomplished what you set out to do, rest for a time. I do not care that there is much more to do. There always is and always will be.**_

That certainly seemed true. Given that had also been the longest speech the shadow had ever made, she decided she had best heed the advice.

'Once this feud is dealt with, I will return to the Ebon Hawk. You are right. I am tired, and I had forgotten that I was injured. I do not feel right going to the ruins at less than full strength.'

_**A wise course. I would do the same. Go well, Alriah, and do not mind the little one too much. She is difficult, but she has her reasons. Walk softly with her, yes, but remember that she has already admitted that she cares for you. Let that comfort you until she is ready.**_

'Does that mean I shouldn't tease her?' Alriah asked, laughing slightly. The shadow seemed to smile, laughing softly with her. 

_**By all means, Alriah. The Force knows she needs it.**_

The shadow receded, leaving her with an oblivious soldier and a slightly upset and confused Jedi. As they reached the Sandral estate, Alriah felt a shadow around the place, like a storm cloud falling across the sun. Something was very wrong here. Remembering the settler and his journal, she knew that Nurik Sandral would be greatly upset by the loss of Cassus. Kath hounds had caused the young man's death, but she doubted he would let it go at that.

'At least he doesn't have war droids at the door...' she commented silently when she noticed the protocol droid at the entrance. This time they were actually allowed inside to meet with Nurik, and as expected, he took the news poorly. She handed over his journal when asked, and tried to refuse his credits, but he wouldn't allow it. When she tried to ask him about Shen Matale, however, he immediately closed down and walked away, grief and pain rolling off him in visible waves much like those caused by excess heat. She heard Carth and Bastila talking, and dragged her attention back to them, 

"Jedi are renowned for their fairness and pursuit of justice. There is nothing to fear from us... unless you have something to hide."

Carth glared, but this time she had to admit he had cause to be upset. That was a very arrogant attitude to take, and a career soldier, especially one who had served in the Mandalorian wars and after, knew better. Jedi were flawed, and their attitudes could cause many problems.

"That's quite a line. You actually believe that? Don't you think someone is allowed to value privacy?"

"Privacy is all well and good, but justice must be valued higher. Is it not obvious to you that this man hides something?"

"Actually, it is," Carth replied, and Alriah found herself impressed by the man for perhaps the first time, "All I'm saying is that not everybody welcomes the sight of a Jedi with open arms. Better get used to it.

Bastila was obviously about to say more, but Alriah sensed someone coming and held up a hand. As a dark skinned young woman approached them, she thought about the debate that had almost started. Justice was important, she agreed, but where did the line between justice and invasion start and end? Privacy had its limits, she agreed with that, but she could understand how people could be wary of Jedi. After all, how hard would it be for a Jedi to invade someone's mind, even accidentally? It was a frightening thought, and as a generally private person herself, Alriah could see how others would be unenthusiastic at best at the thought of Jedi intervention. No one was always in complete control all the time, and when a Jedi's control slipped, horrible things could happen.

_**You are learning quickly. Now is not the best time for that lesson, however. Focus on the girl.**_

She almost laughed at the shadow's gentle, if unnecessary reminder, and she did listen as Rahasia Sandral outlined the situation. 

"I see," Bastila commented once Rahasia had informed them of Shen's imprisonment, "Well there is the answer we seek. The Jedi Council should be informed of this at once.

"You don't think that perhaps there's more to look at here, do you? That maybe everything isn't what it appears?" Carth asked, his eyebrows rising. Alriah had to agree with him, surprised to once again be siding with him and not Bastila. Clearly there was more to the story if a Sandral was risking herself for a Matale.

"Of course not," the young Jedi retorted, apparently oblivious to her companion's thoughts, "It seems very simple to me. The Council must be allowed to decide the next step.

Alriah shook her head, just as Rahasia grew upset and interrupted, telling them of her father's instability since the death of her brother, and, with some prodding, of her relationship with Shen Matale. As she had expected, the choice on whether or not to report to the Council or simply act was left in her hands. She knew she could ask the Council for advice, and that at least some of the Masters would probably prefer it, but this wasn't the kind of situation for that. There were times when seeking advice was essential, but she had all the information, and there was nothing the Council could do differently than what she planned if they were to succeed. Without a word, she led them to the side entrance Rahasia had mentioned and went in. She had wondered if Nurik had his own war droids, and here she found them. Even as she fought them, it amused her to note that they were of very similar make.

'Probably ordered from the same company. Very similar design, too.'

She hacked the security computer when she found it and used it to reprogram the droids to fire on each other. That done, she traveled from room to room, finding a number of useful things as she went. Oddly, it didn't seem that anyone, including herself, considered it stealing to empty the various containers they found. Somewhat disturbed by the thought, she mentally shook herself, refocusing on the task at hand. Finding Shen was simple enough, and while she had the keycard to his prison, she amused herself by hacking the door lock, wanting to keep her skills up.

'Here we go again,' she found herself thinking as Shen refused to leave. She backtracked to Rahasia's room, convinced her to leave, then did the same with Shen. Outside, the couple met and embraced joyfully. In her head, Alriah counted down, and just as she hit zero, the parents arrived, war droids in tow. Shaking her head, the Jedi listened to the name-calling and accusations then carefully interjected herself into the conversation, carefully steering them to listen to their children while not allowing them to focus on each other. 

'_Finally..._'

She had to agree. After what felt like an eternity of gentle guidance and harsh reality checks, the parents agreed to build their children an estate and Shen and Rahasia rushed off to the Jedi Enclave, where they would obviously give the Council the news in person. Now that the job was done, Alriah realized how tired she really was and led the way back to the Ebon Hawk. She knew the ruins could wait just a little longer, or perhaps they needed to. She did want to find out what had happened to Nemo, but that too could wait just a little longer. 

'_Alriah? You seem... unwell,_' Bastila said carefully. Alriah had almost expected her to push her to go to the ruins, but she was obviously nervous about the idea. She also seemed to realize that Alriah wasn't in any shape to take on another challenge just yet.

'I am well enough,' she replied, 'I just need some rest. I promise I'll go to the ruins after that.'

To her surprise, Bastila seemed timid, almost shy, in her response.

'_I... I hadn't thought about the mission, actually. I... you just seem... you seem to be very tired, and I was concerned._'

When it came out, it came out it in a rush, but Alriah still appreciated it.

'Thank you. I'll be fine with a little rest.'

The younger woman didn't seem especially reassured, and she could guess why. If Bastila were paying attention to her state of mind, she'd sense that there was yet another shadow fragment pressing against the walls she'd established in her mind, draining her taxed reserves. Nonetheless, once back at the Enclave, she took a moment to report to Master Vandar, who had apparently been waiting for her. 

"I have heard that the Sandrals and Matales have agreed to cooperation in the construction of a new estate to house their children. Apparently a son of one family and the daughter of the other are getting married. I also hear that we have you to thank for this happy occurrence. I am glad that you are using the authority our Order wields to achieve some measure of good. "

Grateful for the praise and the observation, she bowed and left the Council chambers, sensing the Masters watching her, Vandar and Zhar with approval, Dorak with academic curiosity, and Vrook with something like disappointment. Too tired to wonder about them, she gave the matter no further thought. Bastila, however, had something to say, and her thought penetrated even the haze of exhaustion that surrounded her.

'_We... we should return to the Ebon Hawk...__I think... I mean... you should rest._'

Normally she might have teased the young Padawan a little, but right now she didn't have the energy or focus. Bastila ended up gently and discreetly guiding her to the ship, and by the time they got there, even Carth could see how pale and exhausted she was. As they approached the ramp of the ship, her vision dimmed, fading to a hazy gray. She knew that if she could just concentrate she could find her way with the Force, but even that was beyond her. The shadow fragment was almost through her barriers, and the shadow presence was watching with some concern.

_**You mustn't fight it, Alriah.**_

"I know, I know," she muttered. She felt Bastila move, but when she turned to look, she couldn't see her.

_**I apologize. I did not mean to say you were not doing the right thing. Let the little one get you into bed. I will hold it back until then.**_

Her vision cleared for the most part, allowing her to see Bastila's odd expression, half frightened, half hopeful. When she realized Alriah was looking at her, she schooled her expression, but now that her mind was clear again, she could feel an odd combination of emotions coming from her. Fear, confusion, and anxiety were evident, but so was a certain level of excitement and poorly shielded hope. She blinked, realizing that she and Bastila were in the dormitory.

_**I am sorry.**_

The haziness came back in force, and she stumbled. Abruptly, she felt small, strong arms wrap around her, drawing her close to a warm body.

"It doesn't seem quite fair," she heard Bastila whisper, "that you should have to suffer so now. You were supposed to get a new life, but now you are here, and in so much pain..."

Alriah reached out instinctively, weakly embracing the younger woman, unable to fully control her actions or speech.

"I don't care," she whispered, unsure if she was speaking or thinking loud enough to be heard, "I just want to help you. Please let me... you're so hurt..."

The presence seemed to retreat, but as she stumbled again, she found herself once again supported against a warm body. The presence was terrified and stressed, but still tender.

"If you mean that, than me help you," the body's owner whispered against her ear, "That will help more than anything. Come now, rest. You don't have to push yourself so far, not for the sake of the Council or anyone else. Rest."

She tried to respond, but again the dark form rose, clouding her awareness of the rest of the world.

_**Hold onto the little one, Alriah. You can feel her fear. I cannot stop it anymore.**__**I am sorry. I cannot protect her from this. She won't allow it.**_

'I know...'

With the combined will of her mind and the shadow, she lifted the small form, which was shivering against her like a frightened child, and carried them both to the corner, out of view of the door. Still, the shadow called on her power and closed and locked the door to the dormitory. 

_**This is no time to be interrupted, **_she commented by way of explanation. Smiling slightly, she reached out blindly, wrapping herself around the trembling form. 

"Don't be afraid," she whispered, feeling both the Force and the shadow fragment taking over her consciousness, "I've got you."

As she lost consciousness, she felt another mind joining her own and a compact body press against her. The next thing she knew, she was watching as two familiar figures strode out of the ruins, into the sunlight of Dantooine.

"We shouldn't tarry here too long," Malak whispered nervously, "the Jedi will sense us here."

"It would make no difference," Revan answered softly, and the watcher was surprised by how small and quiet Revan seemed next to Malak. He was much taller than her and physically more imposing, but as she watched Revan move, there was a grace to her motions, even with the heavy cloak, and she radiated strength and wisdom. She was a leader, and Malak would always be a follower. That much was clear.

"But Revan, if the Council should find us here, they will know what we have done!"

"It would make no difference," Revan repeated calmly, striding out of the ruins and onto the plains of Dantooine, "but they will not find us. I have studied many techniques of the Force, and have learned much of the ways of cloaking my presence from others. So they will not see."

"I know nothing of such techniques!" Malak retorted, apparently forgetting that he spoke to his master. Revan said nothing for a long moment, just watched him with contempt rolling off her. Finally she turned away, once again striding across the plains. 

"That is because you devote your time to useless pursuits, Malak."

"If I am not strong, if I am not a warrior-"

"I too am a warrior," Revan interrupted, "and a master of the blade. Perhaps you have forgotten that you cannot best me?"

Malak glared, but once again his Master was ignoring him.

"I take the time to study and learn, Malak, because that too is strength. As you have seen. Unless, of course, you are blind."

"Revan, do not treat me as a child! I too have learned much since we have joined with the Sith, and perhaps it is time you saw my true power! Perhaps then you will respect me as you should!"

Revan didn't bother to turn as he switched on his lightsaber. Using the Force, she drew her offhand blade to her left hand and blocked his attack almost carelessly. As he pressed the attack, she turned at last, dueling with him using only her shorter lightsaber. His attacks were obviously powerful, but Revan seemed to anticipate his every movement and was prepared for it before he had even realized what he was doing. 

"Damn you, Revan!"

Malak leapt up and bore down at her with his full height and weight. In complete control of herself despite her annoyance, Revan knocked his blade aside and used her other lightsaber to neatly slice off the bottom of his jaw. He cried out like a wounded animal. While lightsabers cauterized wounds almost instantly, there was still a bit of blood spatter. Revan absently waved her hand, causing Malak's blood to fly back into his face. Just as he would have fallen, she caught him in one hand, the other taking the lightsaber from his hand. With another controlled motion, she put him into stasis.

"That was your last warning, Malak. I may not agree with all the Sith teachings I've studied, but I do realize that at times a Master must punish her student. I have nearly lost patience with you, Malak, so do not push me any further. I would rather not add you to the list of people I have killed, but if you continue, I will."

He couldn't move, but she could sense his anger. Choosing to keep him in stasis rather than deal with him right now, she strode away. As much as she might want to go to the Enclave, she knew she couldn't. Instead she strode across the plains, heading for another favorite spot. It would be her goodbye to Dantooine, and to the light. She knew she would never again be "just" the paragon of light she had been called by other Jedi. She would never be able to walk in only the light again. She would forever be in twilight, at best. At worst, she would be lost darkness for the rest of her life, however long or short that might be. In any case, she had to say goodbye, because after that, she would go to yet another war.

_**You see, as always, don't you?**_

"I do. And now I know what happened to Malak's jaw. I have seen images of him since his fall. I had wondered how he lost it."

_**There was no choice. He was Sith, and had to be treated as Sith. Still, it was one more action to regret.**_

"I understand. But why did you show me this?"

_**I do not want it thought that somehow I think everything that happened was right. I do not want it thought that I excuse or condone what happened. I want you, and the little one if possible, to see the truth. The good, the evil, the painful, and the healing. All of it. **_

"Nothing with you is ever simple, is it?"

The shadow laughed softly.

_**Are things simple within you?**_

"No," she replied seriously, though she was a little amused, "but that is how I understand you."

_Neither of you are easily understood, certainly._

Alriah smiled, and sensed that the shadow was smiling as well. The bright form had been silent for a long time, and it had been missed.

_**Welcome back, young one. I had started to wonder if perhaps you considered us too much of a bother.**_

_Never. But it is time for Alriah to leave this place. You mustn't overwhelm her with the past. _

Slightly chagrined, the shadow replied, _**I realize that, young one, and I apologize to you both. I will attempt to have better timing in the future. However, I cannot prevent these... visions, if you become so exhausted you cannot resist them.**_

"I understand. I will go on to the temple, then."

_**Before you go, Alriah, a warning. Though the Council considers that place strong in the dark side, that is not entirely true. That place is sad, and its pain echoes through the hearts of all who enter. Those who cannot resist that pain, and the anger that comes with it, do become corrupted, and only then is it a place of darkness. Guard yourself and your companions, especially the little one. She already feels much, and another burden may be more than she can take.**_

Alriah frowned, but she knew better than to leave Bastila behind. They both needed to enter that place, to experience it. 

_The Force will be with you, and so will we. Walk softly, my dearest. I am not ready to lose you, though perhaps I already have._

Both shadow and light vanished, leaving her to slowly pull herself out of the darkness in her mind. To her surprise, the Force caught her as she rose, surrounding and healing her mind and body. As she became aware of herself, she realized that it was soothing both her and Bastila, much like a mother might soothe its children.

'We are never alone,' she thought, feeling Bastila's presence in her mind. The younger woman felt as if she were very alone, her emotions almost blocking her ability to feel the soothing currents of the Force around them. She reached out mentally, bring the Jedi close and using their bond to strengthen her awareness of the Force. The Sentinel seemed to sigh softly, pressing against her.

'_Why must it be so hard?_' she heard the young woman whisper inwardly.

'It doesn't have to be, Bastila. I know that what happened with Revan hurt you, and seeing Revan harm another could not have helped. You must remember though, I am here, and the Force is always ready to aid you should you need it. Please, if you will not let others help you, let it. Let... let me. Let me be your friend.'

Bastila was silent for a long moment, but finally she said, '_How could she have done that to him? Fighting aggression with aggression just makes things worse. You see what Malak has become._'

'I cannot give you an answer, Bastila, but I can tell you this: Revan would not have done it needlessly. Everything I have studied about Revan says that she did not do anything without cause or need. Please, try to put it from your thoughts, or to come to terms with it.'

The Jedi sighed, bathing in the Force and in Alriah's gentle presence. 

'_At times I wonder what her reasons were. How did she justify her actions to herself? When she left for the war she seemed so... so right. So sure. But how is that possible? The Council said not to go. How is everything that has happened as a result _right_? So much pain... so much death... could it have been avoided?_'

'I do not know, Bastila, but I suspect we will find out soon enough. For now, all we can do is trust in the Force. Remember, it is neither our master nor our slave. It is our guide and our companion.'

Bastila sighed, but she did agree. 

'_You are right. I apologize, Alriah. I did not mean to waste time or energy on frivolous-_'

'No, Bastila.'

She pulled the woman closer to her, both physically and from within the Force. She knew she had startled the other woman with the interruption, but as she got to know her, Alriah's helpless attraction to the woman was growing, transforming into an almost overwhelming combination of exasperation, affection, understanding, curiosity, and something that might be becoming love. As her knowledge of the woman grew, so did her willingness to talk to her honestly and without so much awe or fear. She was still somewhat in awe of the beautiful, gifted Jedi, but now she had more reason to be. 

'Your thoughts are never frivolous, Bastila,' she continued, shaking herself from her contemplation of the other Sentinel, 'Not to me. Your grief and regret won't ease unless you try to understand it, and I am grateful that you trust me enough to let me help you along that path.'

Bastila didn't answer, but she did calm slightly, allowing the Force to ebb and flow around them. The great tide pressed against them, pushing them closer together. For a long moment, it felt almost as if they were going to be merged, to become one, but then something from the outside world pulled on their conscious minds. Bastila's presence vanished first, called away by some outer calling. The Force held Alriah a moment longer, and the shadow rose to speak to her while Bastila's attention was elsewhere.

_**Your path is ready, Alriah, but I must warn you again: All your companions carry the weight of much loss inside of them. Chose carefully. The little one must go, must see the place with her own eyes. If you attempt to leave her...**_

'She will follow anyway. I know.'

She could sense the shadow's approval. 

_**Yes. Be cautious. That place is more haunted now than it ever was.**_

She stared at, or perhaps through, the shadow, thinking about her own impressions of the place.

'It's the echoes, isn't it?' she asked softly, the question itself seeming to echo. The shadow nodded, apparently unsurprised, but no less impressed for that.

_**Good. You can sense them. The echoes are growing, and soon not even those who do not hear the Force as we do will not be able to ignore them. You, of course, have never been able to.**_

The shadow paused for a moment, then shook her head before Alriah could say anything in response.

_**Now is not the time, Alriah. Go now. You are ready. Go well, and guard yourself and the little one.**_

Weary despite the rest she'd gotten, she pulled herself awake and left the dormitory, calling Bastila and Carth to her. Bastila seemed almost unnaturally calm and thoughtful, but what she sensed through their bond was reassuring. The young woman had, if only temporarily, put her grief aside, though not all of the animosity she apparently held toward the soldier. The ruins of the temple were a good walk away, but still the calm around Bastila remained, as did her intentional silence toward Carth.

'Here we go...'

She waved her hand in front of the temple door, and as it opened, she was almost overwhelmed by a rush of chaotic emotion and sensation. She felt Bastila stagger and mentally reached out, blocking the tide from her as best she could while opening herself up to it. As the storm raged, she felt herself drowning, and despite all her considerable will, for just a moment she was pulled under the raging stream. Shaking herself and desperately reaching for an anchor, she found a bright point and grasped it. That brightness pulled her head out from under the stream, and she looked up, surprised to find herself face to face with the bright form.

_You take too many risks at times._

She was pulled up and out, and the figure shook its head.

_If I thought you would agree, I would ask you to promise to take no such risk again. But you, for all your wisdom and thoughtfulness, would not, would you?_

Alriah smiled tiredly.

"No, my love, I wouldn't. Not even should you be the one to ask. You know that I do what I must."

_Yes,_ the light replied, sighing, _but that does not mean I like it. Now, are you all right? _

Alriah took stock. The rushing of emotion was still raging, but now that she had experienced its first surge it wasn't so overwhelming, and the bright figure provided a good anchor.

"I am fine. I thank you, though. I don't know if I would have gotten out of that."

The light laughed, a loving, musical sound that stayed with her long after it was gone.

_You would have, dear one. I simply did not wish to witness the suffering you had to endure any longer._

Alriah smiled, warmed by the admission. Now that she was grounded enough, her immediate concern was the barrier she'd established. She was relieved to notice that it was in place and working correctly. Bastila still felt the tide, but the force of it was diminished. The initial surge spent itself on Alriah, though the younger Jedi still experienced much of the emotional wash. To do otherwise would be wrong.

_It's all right. You did right. You... you're so strong. Why is it you're so ready to sacrifice yourself for one who hides so much from you, who denies caring for you?_

"Because that's what love is. To me, anyway. To do any less would be to deny everything I am, everything I feel. And I love Bastila. And you."

The light smiled, and she found herself shaking her head, standing before the door of the temple. Only a second had passed, but it had almost seemed to be an eternity standing over that huge wash of emotion. Out of Carth's view, she felt Bastila's hand touch her arm, running down it to her hand. For just a moment she felt their fingers twine together, and then the touch was gone. In perfect sync, they stepped inside the temple, the mist rising from the floor parting before them. The deeper they went into the temple, the stronger the emotional wash, but together they endured. Carth, following behind them, would feel it only as heightening of his own chaotic emotions, leaving the Jedi to cope on their own. 

_Walk softly, dearest, _she heard the brilliant figure whisper in the back of her mind, _many ghosts await you here._

With that the bright presence vanished from her awareness, but its warning was heeded. Alriah braced herself before opening the inner door, a warning for Bastila to do the same. When the doorway did open, she was prepared for the sudden awareness of many minds that had fallen silent here, of many lives lost, and of an ancient darkness that had been here long ago. She also sensed a much newer ghost, and with a glance around she spotted the fallen form of Nemo. When she looked back up, she found herself looking at an ancient droid of a design completely unfamiliar to her. It said something in a garbled language, and while it was clear the droid was asking a question, likely what their purpose their might be, she had no ability to understand it. That in itself was strange, because even among the Jedi, who were often gifted with languages due to their connection with the Force, she had been told that her command of language was impressive.

"What language is that? What are you trying to say?" she asked, wondering if perhaps the droid might recognize Basic and be capable of recognizing it. The droid was silent for a moment, then said something in another language. To her surprise, it sounded not unlike the wookie language spoken on Kashyyyk, but while she understood wookies, she still didn't understand the droid.

"Bastila, do you have any idea what this droid is saying?" she asked, though she thought she knew the answer. Bastila's words confirmed her own conjectures, which was both reassuring and disappointing.

"I think the droid is trying to communicate with us by cycling through a variety of different languages. Each time it spoke it was using a very different alien dialect. The droid can probably understand us. The only problem is it may not have been programmed with the phonemes of a language we can understand."

She got the distinct feeling that the droid was offended, and when it spoke again its tone said as much.

"I can reproduce any of the languages spoken by the slaves of the Builders."

She blinked, startled to realize that this time she not only recognized the origins of the language, she could understand it. Carth clearly didn't, but the Force seemed to be offering him a translation in a language he understood without his realizing it. Once again Alriah was sure the Force had a unique sense of humor.

"I recognize this language," she commented aloud, more for the droid's sake than for anyone else's.

"I recognize this language as well," Bastila added, and at Carth's confused look, she explained, "It is an archaic variant of the Selkath dialect spoken on Manaan."

She paused, giving the droid a long, confused look. 

"But why would a droid on Dantooine be programmed to speak ancient Selkath?"

The question was legitimate. Manaan was a long way away, and as best as anyone could tell, there were no known connections between Manaan and worlds like Dantooine prior to the Republic. 

"Communication was vital to ensure that the slaves constructed this temple according to the wishes of the Builders," the droid answered, sounding almost condescending. If it had been human it would have shaken its head, and the older woman got the impression of interested wariness when it spoke again. "But you are not of the slave species. Neither are you of the Builders. You are like the one that came before."

"It must be referring to Revan," Bastila interjected. The dark woman found that interesting. She might have assumed it meant Nemo, but once again she got the feeling that Bastila knew much more than she was willing to say, and that she had some evidence of that. 

"The Dark Lord and Malak likely encountered this droid when they explored these ruins," she finished, turning away both mentally and physically under Alriah's dark gaze.

Deciding that now was far from the time for questioning Bastila, she turned back to the droid, curious about its function here. It had mentioned slaves, so perhaps it had been meant to keep them under control.

"Are you some type of guardian?" she asked, that being the most diplomatic term she could think of that was also general enough for the droid's answer to give away some information.

"I am the Overseer," it replied, and Alriah sensed that it had noticed her tactic and approved, "The Builders programmed me to enforce discipline among the slaves while this monument to the power of the Star Forge was constructed. At project completion all slaves were executed. I was programmed to serve should a Builder return in search of knowledge of the Star Forge."

That explained much about this place. The lingering minds would then be the slaves that had been forced to labor here, only to be killed once their usefulness had ended. As much as she hated such a waste of life, the deed was done and long past. There was nothing she could do for those wandering souls now other than do all she could to end such practices now. Bastila and Carth, who were clearly appalled, said nothing, but she could sense both of them fighting to control their emotions. Shaking herself free of her own initial response, she continued her questioning, wanting to get as much information as she could. Knowledge was power and shield both, and she had a feeling she would need as much as she could get.

"How long have you been here?"

The question seemed irrelevant, but it would tell her how old this place was, and that would tell her something of this Star Forge.

"My chronological circuits have marked over ten full revolutions of this system's outermost planet around the sun since the Builders left."

She glanced at Bastila when the younger Jedi started, her eyes wide.

"Ten revolutions would take more than 20,000 years. If this is true then this droid is nearly 5000 years older than the Republic itself! There must be some mistake."

Once again Alriah was struck by the feeling that if the droid were human, it would shake its head. It didn't move, but somehow it seemed to be standing taller, and its tone was mildly annoyed.

"There is no mistake. The Builders constructed my chronological circuitry using the technology of the Star Forge itself. My calculations are infallible."

Before Bastila or Carth could get into it, she asked, "Who are these Builders you keep talking about?"

The droid refocused on her and her companions were sufficiently distracted to avoid a pointless debate. She knew this droid's calculations were accurate. How she knew was, for right now, irrelevant. She didn't know what the Star Forge was, and that was what was important. If this droid were over 20,000 years old, however, and the Star Forge was somehow involved in its construction, it must be an incredible device.

"The Builders are the great masters of the galaxy, the conquerors of all worlds, the rulers of the infinite empire and the creators of the Star Forge."

This speech was impressive, as it was obviously meant to be, but it still didn't answer her question. Bastila noticed this too, and chimed in with her own thoughts.

"These Builders must have been an extinct people, though it is strange there is no record of their existence. Even the archives at the Jedi Academy make no mention of them," she shook her head, going back to her point, "In the years before the Republic the Hutts were a dominant force in the galaxy, but they never constructed an empire. In fact, I know of no species that would fit with this information."

"Something must have happened to wipe the Builders out," Alriah observed, noting that once again Bastila seemed to be attempting to dispute the age of this machine. They wouldn't have records of much of anything prior to the Jedi or the Republic, and if this race had become extinct, information of them would largely have been lost as well. Clearly, however, some ruins such as this remained, enough for Revan to find their great Star Forge, whatever that was.

"The empire of the Builders is infinite and everlasting. None can stand against their might and the power of the Star Forge," the droid interrupted, now clearly upset. One dark eyebrow rose, and she asked the machine, "Have you seen a Builder recently?"

It hesitated, then answered slowly, as if giving up something it sought to protect, "I have been here since the completion of this monument. In all this time no Builder has returned to seek information on the Star Forge."

Smiling inwardly at the admission, she decided to go back to her main line of questioning. It wouldn't do to alienate the droid, after all. Also, she sensed that now was the time to ask that all-important question that had been nagging at her since the vision.

"What is the 'Star Forge'?"

The droid once again seemed to straighten, and it spoke with tones of great pride and something almost smug.

"The Star Forge is the glory of the Builders, the apex of their infinite empire. It is a machine of invincible might, a tool of unstoppable conquest."

She frowned. It wasn't a very informative answer. She had a sinking feeling that was the only answer she was going to get. Still, she had to try.

"Could you be a little more specific?"

The droid hesitated again, and Alriah's heart sunk slightly. Once again an obstacle was in her path, and she had to figure out how to overcome it.

"The... the Star Forge is the glory of the Builders, the apex of their infinite empire. It is a machine of invincible might, a tool of unstoppable conquest."

"The droid is obviously not programmed with the knowledge we seek," Bastila commented in mostly unconscious mimicry of the older Sentinel's thoughts, "The Star Forge sounds like some type of weapon, perhaps... though, in fact, it could be anything. 

On that point Alriah found herself disagreeing. That didn't make sense, given the small scraps of information they did have. It seemed more likely that if this Star Forge _was_ a weapon, it was of a more indirect kind.

"Could it have been a factory or weapons plant?" she asked slowly, processing the droid's silent responses to their conversation. Bastila shrugged, her purple-gray eyes shadowed and dark.

"Maybe... that might explain how the Sith were able to amass a fleet so quickly. But I suspect the Star Forge is more powerful than a mere factory."

She paused, then sighed, gesturing to the waiting machine. 

"Maybe the droid has more information we can use. It seems to respond to you; perhaps you should ask it something else.

She had noticed that too. The old droid did seem to be more willing to talk to her than the others, and she wondered why. In the back of her mind, where she hoped Bastila couldn't hear, she wondered if whatever connection she had to Revan was the cause for this.

"Where can we find the Star Forge?" she asked, finding herself almost reluctant to continue. She inwardly shook herself, recognizing that at least part of that reluctance was actually caused by echoes of the slave's emotions. Their intense hatred toward the thing was evident, and she thought she understood why. If it had been used as a tool for conquest, they certainly had reason to hate it. When the droid spoke again, she dragged her attention back to it, relegating the ghost's emotions to the back of her awareness.

"Now that the slaves are gone, my purpose is to aid those who seek knowledge of the Star Forge..." it paused, then added, "if they are worthy. The ones who came before you - the ones like you, not Builders but not slaves - sought knowledge of the Star Forge and its origins. They proved themselves worthy. They discovered the secrets of the Star Forge locked beyond the sealed door behind me." 

'It's talking about Revan... Whatever test Revan passed, I must do so as well...'

"But there was another who failed to unlock the secrets and paid the ultimate price."

"The droid must be talking about poor Nemo," Bastila observed quietly, both Jedi looking at the old man's corpse, "The Council sent him here to investigate... and it cost him his life."

"Did you kill the Jedi over there?" the dark woman asked. She had a feeling this droid had not, but its answer would give her more information on the challenges she was about to face.

"I am not programmed for combat, I did not harm the one who failed. This temple's own protections will destroy those who seek knowledge of the Star Forge if they are deemed unworthy."

Shaking her head to clear it, Alriah asked, "How can I open the sealed doors behind you?"

"Enter the proving grounds to the east and west. Within them those who understand the will of the Builders can unlock their secrets and open the doors. But those who fail will be destroyed by the power of the temple itself. More than this, I am not programmed to say." 

She glanced back at her companions, and while Bastila did not touch her again, she did pass on some reassurance through their bond. The young Jedi was excited and frightened, but she would face this challenge head on at Alriah's side. Carth was interested, but he was a soldier, not given to scientific thinking or fascination. He saw this as a means to an end, nothing else. Alriah nodded once, all the other two needed to follow her to the door. As she turned to enter the first of the two "proving ground" doors, Bastila did reach out, lightly touching her shoulder.

" Revan and Malak unlocked the sealed door and uncovered the secrets of the Star Forge. Now Malak is using the Star Forge to fuel his conquest of the Republic. We have to find out what they uncovered. We have to find a way to unseal these doors to learn more about the Star Forge! The Republic is depending on us."

Alriah nodded again and opened the first door. Immediately sensing a threat, she drew her lightsabers, shifting in front of Bastila. Several high-power blaster shots came almost immediately, and she deflected them off her sabers. She rushed forward, finding another ancient droid. This one was obviously a combat model, the source of the opening volley that could have injured Bastila. Innate caution kept her from being reckless, and her awareness of the age and sturdy construction of the droid made her even more wary. That served her well. As she slashed down at the droid, it turned, shooting a spray of some sort of coolant at her. She rolled away, but a little of the coolant had impacted her left arm, and for just a few seconds it was immobile. 

'Bastila, don't get too close!'

'_Be careful, Alriah! You're already too close!_'

The reply made her smile inwardly, but her focus on her opponent didn't diminish. Carth had recovered from his initial surprise and was hitting the droid with a heavy barrage. Alriah could see that while the bolts weren't making much of an impact, under concentrated fire the droid's armor was slowly weakening. Before the droid could react, she swept forward and hit the thing with a rapid flurry of attacks, noting as she once again rolled away that even the intense energy of her lightsabers was barely enough to damage the machine. Without conscious thought, Bastila's next attack hit the same place her own had, further weakening the droid's armor. They almost seemed to dance, one attacking, the other following seamlessly. Before long, she could see cracks in the droid's armor plating, but they were small and needed to be considerably widened in order to disable the droid. As she swept forward again, feinting to one side, it fired a volley of blaster bolts toward Carth, who was still harrying it from across the room. She leapt between it and him, deflecting the bolts. Before she could recover completely, she was hit by another spray of that coolant and was almost completely immobilized.

'Damn! That thing is clever! It did that on purpose!'

Gathering her will, Alriah shifted her slightly mobile right hand, the intense energy of her lightsaber burning away the coolant. Sensing danger once again, she forced her partially freed body to one side. She felt, rather than saw, the blaster bolts pass, singing her hair and burning one side of her face. 

"Alriah!"

She saw Bastila break a large chunk of the armor plating off, but she had to duck away before she could take advantage of it. Once again drawing her considerable will around her, Alriah threw her freed lightsaber with all her strength, using the Force to guide its blade. It embedded itself in the droid's cracked armor, destroying its internal circuitry. She slumped slightly, the left side of her torso and her legs still trapped by the freezing coolant. The cold was making it difficult to focus, and she couldn't quite break free using the Force. Bastila, seeing this and sensing how her body and mind were shutting down under the onslaught of cold, rushed over, using one end of her double-bladed lightsaber as Alriah had earlier, melting away the frozen stuff. As Alriah stumbled free, Bastila caught her, supporting her as she found her balance and warming her at the same time. Her blood flowing almost normally, the older Jedi straightened, smiling down at her companion. 

'Thank you.'

Bastila blushed slightly, turning her head away. Alriah let her be and looked around. She noticed an old computer terminal at the far side of the room and walked over to it, managing to avoid noticeably stumbling. She put her hand on it, and it came to life, displaying a series of characters she didn't recognize. Shaking her head, she tried the same tactic she'd tried with the droid and spoke to the machine, asking it if it knew Basic. It didn't respond for a moment, then a new set of characters flew across it. She recognized them, but they made no sense. She tried again, and this time it beeped several times, a sound that was echoed by her datapad. A receptacle appeared, and while she was loath to part with the datapad that contained her journal and all her maps and such, she put it in. The computer hummed, then cooperatively returned her datapad, this time displaying a question she understood about the three seed types of death giving worlds.

'Death giving? That would be...' 

She sighed at the six options it gave, entering: barren, volcanic, and desert. It chirped, displaying the message:

"Death seal unlocked."

She sighed. There was something familiar about all of this, but that she could put aside for now. What bothered her was the reminder that death seemed to follow wherever she went, often summoned by her blade. She hated it.

'_Alriah? Come... we should finish what we came for..._' Bastila commented hesitantly. She nodded quietly and crossed to the other room. This time she was prepared for the droid, and didn't waste time. Instead, she buried her offhand lightsaber in its thick armor coating, using the Force to slowly break through the plating like a drill, her other lightsaber blocking the blaster bolts. When the second droid was disabled, she walked to the expected computer terminal, noting the partially destroyed room and another broken droid off to one side. Oddly, it had been destroyed in much the same fashion, and she would have wondered if she hadn't known that such wondering would immediately activate the barrier in her mind and make her head pound. Instead, she focused on activating the computer, this time getting a question about life giving worlds.

"Arboreal, oceanic, and grassland."

The computer chirped.

"Planetary type conducive to life. Breaking Life Seal."

She turned in silence, heading back toward the main room. She could sense Bastila's concern and Carth's curiosity and frustration, but she knew that if she didn't concentrate, she'd start thinking about things that she didn't dare in such an unfriendly place. As she approached the droid, she got the impression it would have bowed if it could. 

"You have proven yourself worthy, the sealed door is open. If you wish to learn the secrets of the Star Forge you must pass through the door to the room beyond." 

She nodded, saying simply, "I'll be going now."

"I shall remain here as programmed by the Builders," the droid responded, unperturbed by her reticence. Shaking her head, she entered the final chamber, watching for any guardian droids and finding none. Instead a large black device sat near the far wall. As she approached, three struts came down. Between them a sphere appeared, marked in several places. She thought she recognized its significance, and Bastila seemed to have come to much the same conclusion. 

"This... this must be what Revan and Malak found when they entered this temple. This must be where their journey down the dark side began."

She shook her head, disagreeing but unwilling to debate it right now. Her head was already aching, and she wasn't going to set off one of those debilitating headaches here.

"What is it?" she asked, more for the sake of getting the other woman to talk. She liked Bastila's voice, and it was something for her to focus on. If she didn't concentrate, she could almost feel the vibrations in the air, the swirl of dark robes, and in the corner of her eye she could almost see a dark-robed form approaching the device. Revan had definitely been here, but where Malak's presence was a darkly warped, barely noticeable trace, she had left a strong imprint here, and that imprint told her that Revan had indeed embraced the dark side, she hadn't given up her ties to the light, at least not yet. Shaking herself mentally, she forced herself to focus on Bastila's speech. Revan's ghost was strong here, and while she was curious, too much curiosity was a dangerous thing here.

"This is a... a map. Some sort of intergalactic navigational chart. Revan and Malak must have used this to lead them to the Star Forge. We could use this map to follow their path and find the Star Forge ourselves. But we must be wary... they may have laid traps concealed what they found."

Bastila herself didn't seem to believe that, and that wasn't the impression Alriah was getting. She had a feeling that Revan hadn't needed to waste time setting traps or hiding her trail. She'd wanted to be followed, but only by the right person.

'Am I that person?' she asked herself without thinking, and almost immediately the pounding intensified. 

"So what is the Star Forge, exactly?" she asked, almost managing to sound normal. She needed Bastila to keep talking. Her voice was like an anchor, and the quiet hum of her thoughts was a welcome distraction. She didn't need an accurate answer, just something to take her mind off the pounding.

"I... I don't know, but Revan and Malak were very interested in finding it. It must be a tool of some type... or maybe a weapon," Bastila paused for a moment, noticing Alriah's distracted state, then continued on, realizing why Alriah had asked her a question knowing she didn't know the answer.

"Perhaps the Council can tell us more. But I think this map might be the key to finding the Star Forge, whatever it is. See this world here? This looks like Korriban, a Sith world. And if that's Korriban, then this is... Kashyyyk... and Tatooine... and here's Manaan. But there are pieces missing: incomplete hyperspace coordinates, corrupted data... and there doesn't seem to be anything indicating where the Star Forge itself might be." 

Alriah smiled. Even through the pain she had noticed the same things, and agreed with her companion's conclusions. 

"Perhaps those worlds have more clues," she said, and something within her was sure this was true. Bastila nodded, sensing much the same thing.

"I was thinking that too. This map can't take us to the Star Forge, but I know that Revan and Malak visited Korriban at least once. Perhaps they discovered something more there. They may have found something on each of the other worlds that completed this map. Maybe if we find all the pieces they will lead us to the Star Forge..." she paused, her expression intense and clouded, "and some way to destroy it.

Carth, apparently unaware of the young Jedi's sudden mood change, interrupted, his tone doubtful and untrusting. 

"That sounds like quite a supposition. What if you're wrong?"

"What if I'm right?" Bastila shot back, her eyes flashing, "We can't ignore this. Finding the Star Forge might very well be the key to defeating the Sith!" 

It was Bastila's turn to mentally shake herself, and she turned away from the soldier to look at her fellow Jedi.

"We must inform the council of what we have discovered. They must decide our next course of action, though I suspect our task has only just begun."

That last was said very sadly, and Alriah could both see and sense the mixed feeling Bastila had about the issue. What surprised her was how much of the sadness was for her.

'Bastila? What is it?'

'_It... it is nothing. We should leave this place. I don't... I do not like it here._'

Alriah agreed. This was not a pleasant place for anyone, much less a young, grieving Jedi. She led the group out, though she took a moment to pay her respects to Nemo. She noticed that in one of his outstretched hands he held a crystal, and she picked it up. Emotions rushed from it, and she smiled sadly, putting it in a pocket. This was his last gift to the Jedi, a rare crystal he had kept for most of his long life. As the door to the plains opened, she looked back into the temple one last time, and for a long moment Revan's dark robed form appeared before her, standing much as she was now. Suddenly, the ghost turned, seeming to look her right in the eye. The message was clear.

'I see your path, Revan, and I will follow it as far as I must. Even if it means my death. Even if it means falling into darkness. But I do not think your path is truly mine. I am not you.'

The ghost nodded and turned away, leaving Alriah to watch as it vanished into the shadows. Once it was gone, she sighed and stepped outside, into the waiting warmth and light.


	6. Returns of Past Lives

Disclaimers: I do not own the rights to Star Wars in any form or its characters

Disclaimers: I do not own the rights to Star Wars in any form or its characters. I am merely an insane writer who can't help but use them for my own nefarious purposes. Don't sue. It's a bad idea. And a waste of time. Heh.

To any of you who are big action fans, I should warn you that this chapter is dialogue heavy, just as this part of the game was, at least for me. I'll do my best to keep the story interesting and going on its way, but just be aware. 

I haven't said this before, but after noticing a few new things, I decided I would. The reason I'm using so much of the game's original dialogue and scenes is because many scenes and conversations seemed too stiff or to lack the depth they should have, and that annoyed me. Essentially, I'm more or less writing an admittedly somewhat biased novelization of the game. If that bothers anyone, that's fine and I'd be happy to hear about why. On the other hand, if you like the idea, I'd be glad to hear about that too. 

What all this is leading up to is that reviews are often bread and water to a writer. They're a lifeline of sorts, our way of connecting to our readers. In my case, I suffered writer's block for over a year and just recently got back into writing, so reviews are especially important to help me get back into some sort of groove.

Now, on with the show!

**Dakari: The Real Story**

**Chapter 5: Leave Takings and the Returns of Past Lives**

As the trio walked away from the shadow of the ruins, Alriah felt her headache retreating, allowing her to think clearly once again. Immediately she realized that both Carth and Bastila had things on their minds. Knowing Bastila as she did, whatever she wanted would be relatively interesting, and likely more informative than whatever Carth had to say. That being the case, she turned and approached Carth.

"Yes? What's on your mind?" he asked, sounding somewhat sullen.

"You've been very quiet lately, you know that?" she replied, her eyes searching his. He looked angry and frustrated, and more than a little confused. With any soldier, and Carth in particular, that was not a good combination.

"Have I been quiet?" he asked, his tone making the question rhetorical, "I suppose I have. I guess I just don't like being left out of the loop."

"Left out of the loop? I don't understand."

Actually, she did understand, but he needed to vent and he sometimes wouldn't do it without prompting.

"Left out of the loop. You know. Not being told anything... strung along."

"I'm not the one leaving you out of the loop, Carth," she replied coolly. He had information she didn't, for one thing. For another, she really wasn't intentionally keeping him uninformed. There were large gaps in the information she had, and if she tried to explain she wouldn't make any sense, even to herself.

"No?" he shot back, "Well, you certainly aren't helping matters any, either, and it's really starting to irritate me. For one thing, I want to know what the Jedi Council said to you. They pulled you in there and refused to tell me a thing about it."

The thought that Carth had a right to know everything the Council did was ludicrous, and apparently Bastila agreed. Her eyes flashed, changing from translucent to nearly opaque.

"That is none of your concern, Carth, and you would do well to leave the matter be."

He was clearly taken aback by the vitriol in her tone, but while he was more respectful in tone and bearing, still he persisted.

"I respect you, Bastila, but you've been as close-mouthed as the rest of the Council," he said carefully. The idea of Bastila being part of the Council was almost amusing, but Alriah didn't interrupt.

"If you won't talk to me, then maybe somebody else will.

Alriah tilted her head, thinking about what she could say. Something about this whole rant seemed off, though, and she asked a question that had been nagging at her before giving any actual response.

"Why should anything the Jedi do seem strange to you?"

"I may not know much about the Jedi," he replied, understanding the implication behind her question, "but I do know they aren't famous for taking on old Padawans and sending them on dangerous assignments."

She shrugged. She didn't know the answer herself, and so gave him the only one she had.

"They thought it was more important that I help find the Star Maps than stay."

"And why is that? You were a great help on Taris, but why would they keep you with us? Don't they... don't they have to train you?"

Now she understood. He was afraid. He didn't understand the Jedi or their powers, but he did fear them. A barely trained Jedi must seem awfully threatening to him, even one he had fought with and seen in action.

"I've done pretty well so far," she replied softly, saddened by the thought that someone else she traveled with might be afraid of her. It was bad enough that the woman she might be falling in love with was afraid of her, but now this arrogant, overconfident soldier was too.

"That's completely beside the point," he stammered, apparently seeing the pain on her face. He wasn't very reassuring, however. 

"The Jedi encouraged you to stay with us, and I don't believe the reasons they gave. You're a neophyte Padawan who's been saddled with the responsibility of tracking down these Star Maps. Why? That's not normal! I'm not trying to provoke you or imply that you're somehow responsible for the Jedi Council... but give me a hand, here! There has to be a reason!"

Black eyes flashed, closely resembling black diamonds in that moment. She was tired of this. All she wanted was some peace and quiet, and he kept demanding more of her. She didn't have the answers to give! With an effort, she schooled herself to calm, breathing slowly and deeply. Still, when she spoke her voice betrayed some of her frustration and hurt.

"Are you saying I'm not needed?"

He stared at her, holding up his hands. Apparently he realized that he had crossed a line.

"No, I don't... I didn't mean that you weren't wanted, or that I want to go, It's just... damn it!" He shook his head violently, gesturing widely. 

"I'll tell you this much... I am not going to wait around until I'm betrayed again!"

"I am not going to betray you! I am not Saul!" she replied sharply. She understood that his past was still tormenting him, but that was no excuse for behaving like this. They were all haunted by their pasts. She didn't even remember hers, and yet still it seemed to torment her! His eyes clouded, and she knew that whatever he said next, the conversation was over. If he didn't end it, she would.

"Well, we'll just see about that, won't we? Look, I didn't mean it that way. I want to get to Saul, not... no... no, forget it. It seems all I can do is insult you, isn't it? Just forget I said anything. Let's... let's... just get on with what we were doing."

Bastila looked ready to say more, but Alriah shook her head, watching the soldier walk away a little way to calm himself down. Putting Carth from her mind for the moment, she turned back to Bastila, who was watching her with that painful mix of fear, interest, and compassion.

"How can I help?" she asked softly.

"You look like something's bothering you," Alriah answered just as softly, not feeling like drawing Carth back into the conversation. Bastila sighed, her eyes looking into nothing before turning back to meet hers.

"No, not bothering me. Not exactly. I've been thinking about what the Jedi Council said about the two of us. There is a bond between us, I do not dispute that. I can feel it, as I'm sure you can. The nature of that bond and its effect on our mission remain in question."

"I think you're interested in more than just the 'bond' between us," Alriah observed, hiding a smile. While she could sense the truth of that through said bond, Bastila would, of course, still try to deny it. It was a game of sorts, Bastila trying to learn all she could without exactly asking, while Alriah waited for the right moments to pounce on her words and trip her up enough to draw her out more. 

"Please!" came the expected denial, and Alriah waited for the rest of, barely able to keep from smiling, "I'm a Jedi. Such feelings, such attractions, are... well, they're beneath me, quite frankly." 

At that, the older woman rolled her eyes, making sure Bastila saw it. That was ridiculous, of course, and they both knew it. Still, Bastila soldiered on, digging herself into a deeper hole.

"I admit, I find you intriguing," she stammered, then realized how that sounded and added, "Uh... I mean I find your command of the Force intriguing. But my interest in you is purely academic. Surely you can understand why. Our fates are strongly connected; so connected that a literal bond has been formed between us. I saw your service records when you were transferred aboard the Endar Spire, but nothing beyond that. I know very little about you. I'd like to ask you some questions, given our relationship."

Another opening, and Alriah was not about to pass it up.

"Our relationship? Is this some kind of clumsy come-on?" she asked, her dark eyes dancing. Through their bond, she caught a flash of a thought, an image of herself with her black hair loose and framing her face and her dark eyes looking tenderly down at the watcher. Bastila shook herself, trying to sounding professional rather than fascinated.

"I was referring to the bond we share; the one the Jedi Council spoke of," she growled back, then added, apparently without thought, "If I actually was interested in you, rest assured I could come up with a better approach than this!"

"Whoa, guess I touched a nerve there, huh?" the darker woman asked, her laughter reaching her voice. Bastila glared, but at the same time her expression was almost affectionate.

"Touched a nerve? No. Getting on my nerves, most definitely. I suppose this is what you consider being witty." 

She sighed in exasperation, but once again Alriah noted a touch of affection behind her annoyance. 

"Now, are you going to answer my questions? Or would you rather just keep annoying me?"

She thought about taking the second choice, but she knew she had pushed almost as far as she dared. Instead she resolved to wait for another opportunity. Knowing Bastila, she wouldn't have to wait too long.

"Okay, I'll answer a few questions."

Bastila looked and felt relieved, and not for the first time Alriah wondered if she knew how much of herself she gave away between her expressions and the bond.

"Don't worry, these are simple questions. Nothing too intrusive. First, what kind of background do you have?"

Alriah frowned, but decided she would go along with this for now.

"I was a scout. The fleet recruited me for my skills."

"Good," the other Jedi replied, nodding, "On which planet were you born?

"Deralia. It's in a remote system. Why?" she asked curiously, aware that if Bastila had seen her records she knew all of this. Clearly there was another reason for this interrogation. The younger woman just pressed on, and Alriah saw that she'd have to wait to get her answer.

"Excellent. Your current age is?

"Wasn't all this in my service records?" she asked finally. Bastila should know all of this. So either the Jedi hadn't seen her records, or she was testing her in some way.

"Yes, well... the truth is I was studying how you responded to my questions. Your reactions help me judge you; this was a test for me to learn more about your character."

Alriah shook her head, torn between a logical understanding of the need for that and an innate dislike for being used or manipulated. Something within her knew she'd had enough of that for several lifetimes.

"I don't like being manipulated," she said softly, her tone a warning. She cared very deeply for Bastila and would accept a great deal from this woman, but nonetheless she had boundaries and limits, and the young Padawan had come close to crossing them. She regretted her tone when Bastila paled and her eyes dropped.

"I see. I didn't mean to upset you, but I suppose it was inevitable. You've had a lot to absorb since we escaped Taris. I apologize."

She shook her head and stepped into Bastila's personal space, startling her. Before Bastila could step back, the taller Jedi gently lifted her chin so she could look the younger woman in the eye. In that moment, Bastila looked innocent and frightened, a child lost in a world that was too large and too painful. The sadness she had sensed was clearly visible in those eyes, which were now transparent and pale. She was both surprised and saddened when she saw a tear trickle unheeded down the smaller woman's face. With the pad of her thumb she wiped it away, that one small gesture enough to show Bastila that she'd been forgiven. 

"And what did you find out?" she asked gently, letting Bastila take a step back, both mentally and physically, to gather herself. The compact Jedi sighed quietly, and her relief was unmistakable, even through the academic tone.

"You were honest, which is good. And you treated this as a serious matter, which it is. This bond we share will shape both our destinies. It is not to be taken lightly." 

Bastila smiled slightly, calming down.

"But I imagine you've had enough questions for a while. So many things have happened to you since Taris. It's probably a lot for you to absorb. We can speak again later, after you've had time to think about all this."

Before Bastila could even sense what she was going to do, Alriah bent and embraced her warmly.

'Thank you.'

'_For what?_' she asked, confused by the sudden change in her attitude. To the scout's amusement, the question, which had been barely more than a squeak, had been asked through their bond rather than aloud. It was interesting that at times Bastila seemed to find comfort in the thing she fought so hard to ignore at other times.

'For noticing,' Alriah replied honestly, using the bond as well, 'No one else has.'

Bastila seemed pained for a moment, then gingerly returned the embrace.

'_It may not always seem so, but I do care, Alriah, and I do pay attention. I am sorry that you have had to shoulder so much alone._'

Alriah smiled gently and released the smaller Jedi, just as Carth turned back to rejoin them. He looked between them strangely but didn't otherwise comment on their closeness, for which they were both grateful. Alriah did note, however, a touch of jealousy in his eyes and resolved to be more careful around him. They walked back to report to the Council, and Alriah noticed that even as they walked and fought off a few roaming kath hounds Bastila would occasionally touch her. The comforting gestures soothed much of the pain that had been building up within her, and it reassured her that she wasn't just a subject of study for the other Jedi, which was obviously what the younger woman had intended. Once back to the Enclave, they went straight to the Ebon Hawk for a short rest, and Alriah took the opportunity to speak with Bastila again. She had noticed that the other woman had been staring at her for a while, and she was rather curious as to why. Feeling those eyes tracking her, tracing her, was very distracting. 

"How can I help?" she asked as she often did when Alriah approached, though this time there was a note of genuine concern and affection that hadn't been there so far.

"You have something you want to ask me?" she asked, a disarming smile spread across her face. Those unusual eyes blinked slowly, and for a long moment Bastila seemed frozen, only her eyes moving. Her gaze was almost a caress, and Alriah almost moved closer, finding herself wanting more contact with the woman, but she restrained herself. Bastila's reactions were unpredictable at the best of times. Besides, she was still curious. The younger Jedi finally broke out of her momentary trance and shook her head, though she still seemed dazed.

"I do. How did you know?" the other woman asked, clearly curious but also intending to use the time it took her to answer to re-gather herself. Alriah decided that she wouldn't give her the chance, at least not right away. She wanted to know what it was Bastila kept staring at, why her eyes kept sweeping her up and done, kept following her as she moved.

"Well," she replied, savoring the moment a little, aware that she would only get so many chances to openly flirt with the woman and get away with it, "you keep staring at me. See anything you like?"

Those purple-gray eyes widened, and in that moment of surprise the answer was clear. It only lasted a second before Bastila's expression became that familiar flustered, embarrassed glare, but it had been answer enough. 

"You are easily the vainest, most arrogant woman I have ever met!" she retorted, though her thoughts weren't in sync with her words, "Besides, I know you can't be serious since I was purposefully not staring in your direction. I am a Jedi, remember? I have for too much mental discipline to reveal what goes on inside my mind with such obvious physical clues. My thoughts remain hidden, including whatever my feelings are for you."

The Sentinel's eyebrows rose as her companion gave her a look that clearly said 'so there!' and yet she had rather obviously contradicted the point she'd had in the beginning of the tirade. Bastila seemed to realize that as well, and quickly backtracked.

"Uh... I mean whatever I feel about you... uh... I mean whatever I think about you."

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed," Alriah commented, utterly charmed by the younger woman's stammered and weak defense. Bastila hadn't even realized she'd been staring, which just made it better. What was even better was that when she had noticed it she'd had to force herself to stop, and as soon as she'd stop thinking about it she'd do it again. Then something else she had said processed fully, and dark eyes widened just slightly as she realized just how much Bastila's stammering had given away. She almost wanted to kick herself for getting so caught up that she'd missed a key point.

"You have feelings for me?" she asked softly, awed by the thought. She had started to believe that perhaps Bastila might feel some attraction toward her, but the near-confirmation that this woman, who was so obviously afraid of her on some level was also interested in her was far more warming than she had imagined it could be. The Padawan, for her part, just stared, doing a fair imitation of a fish before she managed a response, her face and ears bright red.

"I... that is, you... Why must you be so impossibly infuriating! You know very well what I'm really talking about. I'm referring to the bond between us; the one the Jedi Council spoke of." 

The young Sentinel raised her eyebrow, the implication clear. On one hand the scout was amused, but on the other she was concerned, and she felt she had good reason to be. Once again Bastila had used the Council and her unusual position as an excuse to ignore or suppress her emotions, and that was dangerous. Alriah kept hoping that if she teased the woman enough to pull her out of her shell she might learn that expressing emotion without giving up control to it was actually beneficial, but she seemed bent on driving herself to the brink of insanity by ignoring the very core of her being. Bastila's expression calmed somewhat as if in response to her thoughts, though she'd kept them shielded, and her emotions became almost stable again, though there was a definite element of fear still present. 

"Our connection allows us glimpses into each other's minds. We can feel some of what the other feels," Bastila paused, the conversation taking a serious, abrupt shift that seemed to surprise even her, though she kept going as if it hadn't, "And what I feel within you troubles me. A Padawan must receive considerable training. They must learn to control their emotions and darker impulses. Often it takes years before using the Force can be considered safe. The fact that you are so strong in the Force and have had such relatively little training could have terrible consequences. For you, and for everyone around you."

"What do you think I should do?" she asked, aware that there probably wasn't going to be an answer to the question, but still curious. This abrupt shift worried her, because she could see that whatever the young woman saw or feared, it haunted her constantly. Something told her that Bastila was far more aware of the dangers of insufficient or incorrect training than she should be, and she wondered just where that knowledge came from. She was starting to wonder, though, if Bastila wasn't talking about herself. For now, she put the thoughts from her mind and focused on the younger woman's response.

"I don't think there is much you can do," she replied miserably, confirming Alriah's fears but making her wonder further what Bastila was really talking about, "If things were different I would recommend several years of training under one of the Jedi Masters. But I fear that won't be possible." 

She broke off, thinking quietly in the shielded part of her mind where even their bond couldn't quite reach, then something inside her seemed to unknot slightly. Alriah watched her curiously, surprised and curious when she seemed to calm and some of her fear dissipated somewhat. She felt a gentle probing touch reach through their bond, and to Bastila's apparent pleasure, she allowed it. The younger woman nodded, managing to smile slightly.

"Thankfully you have exhibited a degree of compassion and self-control up to this point. I sincerely hope you can maintain these traits in the future," she commented, managing to sound almost content, then paused again, her expression darkening and her eyes glazing slightly, as if she looked out into the future, or perhaps the past, and what she saw there tormented her. 

"We must all resist the influence of the dark side! It is everything we are fighting against! This is doubly important for you, with your natural affinity for the Force!"

"Why are you getting so upset?" Alriah asked, mentally reeling from the sudden force of Bastila's emotions. The question seemed to bring her out of whatever place she'd fallen into, and she calmed somewhat, the maelstrom easing, though not subsiding. The scout shook herself inwardly, futilely trying to relieve some of the pressure of the barriers in her mind. Whatever was tormenting Bastila so was something she was not supposed to know. For her part, the younger Jedi regained her composure, though to Alriah's concern she did so by once again suppressing her emotions.

"I'm sorry if I come across as harsh. But I am concerned. For you, for our mission. And for myself, as well," she replied softly, her voice more gentle now. Alriah appreciated the effort, but didn't want the young woman to burden herself further at her expense.

"I will try," Alriah promised, and she could see that Bastila understood her meaning. Though the real topic of conversation was questionable, the fact remained that she felt she had to say something to get Bastila to calm down and stop worrying herself so much, so she agreed to guard herself, which was something she would do in any case.

"That is good to hear. Without the proper training, however, I'm afraid you will find the path difficult even with the best of intentions. There is great danger ahead, for both of us." 

She shook her head, and Alriah could feel that tide of emotions rise again, only to be pushed away again. Still, something in her bearing took on some of her previous autocratic attitude, and it hurt. Once again she was dismissing her own emotions, and at the same time doing the same to Alriah's. That was dangerous, foolhardy, and painful to experience. It was something a Jedi should never do, because it risked not only his or her self, but also everyone else around him or her. 

"Our destinies are intertwined. Everything one of us does will have consequences for the other. Any reckless behavior on your part is likely to affect me as well."

The implication struck the older woman like a blow. At no point had she done anything to endanger the other woman, had done much to protect her in fact. Almost everything she had done had been thought out and considered in case she take some action that might negatively impact the younger Jedi. She shook her head, and her eyes became guarded and sad.

"So you're just worried about yourself, then."

Bastila stared for a moment, sensing once again that she had gone too far, pushed too hard. Once again she had pressed against a raw wound, a wound she had put there, and once again she had hurt the woman she was trying to help.

"That's not true," she replied sadly, clearly aware of how she had sounded and regretting the way she had spoken, "I am worried about myself, but also about you. I would rather see neither of us come to any harm."

Had this been anyone else, Alriah would have doubted the words on little more than principle, but this was Bastila. Even without the bond she could not ignore her sincerity, and the bond made it doubly clear. Her insides seemed to relax somewhat and she started to forgive the young woman once again.

"It works both ways, doesn't it? You could help me stay strong."

The unspoken words hung between them, and this time Bastila accepted the implication with a certain amount of equanimity. She knew that at times she needed help. Alriah had proven that. The fact she was still willing to offer such aid even after all the hurt she'd caused the woman seemed to reassure her.

"Yes, that is true. I will do my best to guide you, but I am no Master. Not yet. And there are times when I find the sheer strength of your power almost overwhelming."

There too lay something unspoken. Bastila was considered a prodigy, and her skill with Battle Meditation was unrivaled, but here she was, saying that Alriah was the more powerful. The older woman didn't know if that was true, but she did see what it took for the proud Padawan to make the admission, and admired her all the more for it. It helped that it also leant support to the theory that Bastila cared for her as rather more than just a traveling companion, or even a friend. The tone of both her thoughts and speech had certainly implied more.

"I won't do anything to hurt you," the dark woman said gently, the last of her anger fading. Bastila's expression warmed, but at the same time something haunted her eyes and mind.

"I believe you truly mean what you say. For now. But sometimes it is not so easy to keep such promises." 

She spoke with wisdom gained from long experience with such betrayal, and she wondered who had wounded this beautiful, somewhat delicate soul so deeply. Bastila was too young to know such things. It wasn't right that her innocence had been so thoroughly stolen.

"Your power could be a gift or a curse," Bastila continued, apparently deciding she had given away too much of herself, "When you need guidance, or advice, or support I will do my best to help you stay on the path of the light."

"I would appreciate any help you could offer, though I doubt I'll be a risk to the mission," Alriah replied, not from any sense of pride, but from a very strong sense that if anyone were going to be a threat to their mission, it wouldn't be her. The thought haunted her, because she had a sinking feeling she knew who of her small group could be a potential threat. At least if she were the threat she'd know how to respond. If she were right, however...

"No, of course not. Not yet. But there will be challenges ahead that might make it otherwise." 

Bastila too seemed haunted, and she wondered if perhaps the young woman sensed what she did, and if she was even referring to Alriah anymore.

"I only hope I will have the wisdom to help you through the dark times... But for now, we should return to our mission."

The hasty retreat from the conversation Bastila herself had started concerned Alriah, but she knew that now wasn't the time to deal with it. She strode away and spent a few moments with Mission, playing Pazaak with the teenager. Mission had apparently been playing with Zaalbar, and she was bored. Wookies weren't exactly known for their skill at card games. Next she spent a little time with Canderous, hearing more about his time as a warrior among the clans and about his experiences with Revan. Feeling that she'd done her duty to her companions, she took Carth and Bastila with her to report to the Council. As she approached, Master Vandar greeted her while the other masters looked on.

"Ah, you have returned, young Padawan. Have you discovered what it was that Revan and Malak sought in those ruins?"

"We found an incomplete Star Map and mention of something called a Star Forge," she replied concisely. She had a feeling they knew more than they said, and didn't feel the need to go into more detail. Vandar didn't object, so she decided she was probably right. 

"This news of a Star Forge is disturbing. Action is required, but we must not do so in haste. We must discuss recent events in light of this new information. "

"We should consult the Jedi archives to see if there is any mention of this 'Star Forge' and what it might do," Master Vrook interjected, looking at Alriah as if she were some kind of harbinger of death and destruction. The worst part of it was that for all she knew, she just might be. 

"We must learn why Revan and Malak sought it out," Vrook continued, glaring at her as if he had sensed her thought. Bastila certainly had, and she didn't like it.

"Return to your ship with Bastila and we will summon you when we are done," Vandar said, though something about his bearing said there was more he wanted to say. She bowed and left with her companions, returning to the ship. Before she settled down to rest, she took some time to sit down with T3-M4. She asked his permission to work on him and he agreed, though he, like many of the more independent, and thus more quirky, astromech droids, was wary of being damaged by 'imprecise human hands', so she set about exploring his expansive functionality. Even for an astromech droid he was impressive and versatile, and she couldn't help but be saddened that the woman who had built him was dead. T3 was a work of art, and she told him as much. He seemed pleased, and she laughed at his commentary on her companions. He didn't talk much, but when he did he said a lot. She noticed that he got quiet around the others, so she took care to ensure they had some privacy,

"You are definitely an incredible droid," she commented, giving him a quick polish and making sure his routine maintenance was sufficient. She found she couldn't think of the little droid as 'it,' so she didn't. He seemed to like that, and by the time the Council had called her back, she was satisfied she had a good rapport with him. Bastila had looked at her oddly to see her talking to a droid, but she sensed that somehow the younger woman liked that her compassion extended even to droids. Once back in the Council chambers, Vandar again greeted them, this time even more serious.

"Padawan, you have done well in discovering the Star Map within the ancient ruins. But there is more you must do in the battle against Malak and the Sith. We Jedi know victory over the Sith will not come through martial might. The Council has a mission for you, Padawan." 

She had been waiting for this, and she stood at military rest, prepared to do their bidding, but not blindly.

"I have consulted our vast archives in an effort to discover the nature of this 'Star Forge', but all my efforts have been in vain," Dorak said quietly, clearly disappointed with this failure. To a scholar, a lack of information was a wound that cut deep.

Vrook shifted, adding in sour tones, "Still, the Council are in agreement: the Star Forge must be found! Revan and Malak sought it out when they began their tragic fall; the Star Forge is surely as powerful tool of the dark side."

She frowned at that. No tool was ever anything except what it was made to be. If the Star Forge was a tool of the dark side, that was simply because that role had been forced upon it. As for his commentary on Revan and Malak... that she took with a grain of salt. He clearly had a deep bias.

"The Star Map in the ruins showed you four planets, but it was incomplete," Vandar continued after a long look at Vrook, "It did not show the location of the Star Forge itself. We believe there may be similar Star Maps on other planets. Each Star Map is likely a small piece of a larger puzzle. Find the Star Maps on Kashyyyk, Tatooine, Manaan and Korriban and we believe they will lead you to the Star Forge.

"I am ready to do the Council's will," she said softly, her eyes shifting between each of the four Masters. She kept getting the nagging feeling that something was missing... or someone. Was there another member of the Dantooine Council? Her head throbbed, and she shied away from the thought. Clearly that was one of things she might have once known but was now forbidden.

Vandar noticed her distraction, but still he went on, perhaps aware that given something to focus on her headache was reduced. 

"The Jedi numbers have been ravaged by this war, by defections to Malak's cause and by Sith assassins. But we realize the importance of this mission. Yet if we sent a company of Jedi Knights with you we would surely draw the full attention of Malak and the Sith, dooming your efforts to failure."

That alarmed her. If she had to do this alone, she would surely fail. From their bond, she could sense that Bastila was also upset at the prospect, and had actually started forward, her expression determined. She sent a quiet thought through their bond, halting her, then asked, "Am I to undertake this task alone?"

Vandar shook his head, the slight smile on his otherwise unreadable face showing that he had seen or sensed the interaction between the two women.

"Bastila will accompany you, for there is a powerful connection between you two... a connection that might be the key to unraveling the mysteries uncovered by Revan. And Juhani has also asked to accompany you. After long deliberations we have granted her request."

That was both reassuring and something of a surprise. She had liked the spirited young Cathar, and while she was concerned for her state of mind she trusted that the young woman was strong enough to overcome her doubts. In Bastila's case she wasn't so surprised, but she was reassured. She didn't want to do this without the beautiful Jedi at her side, even taking into account all her lectures and attitude. 

'So, Bastila and a talented, beautiful, powerful Cathar. This should be interesting.'

She sensed something that might have been jealousy from Bastila, but before she could give it her full attention, Vrook started speaking and she had to pay attention to him.

"Juhani nearly fell to the dark side. Perhaps her presence will serve as a reminder to you of the dangers of that path."

She sighed. That man had such a black and white view. He had a point, yes, but still...

"There are others I want to join me," she said, this time focusing solely on Master Vandar, who immediately understood what she was asking.

"Of course those who aided you on Taris will also come; they possess skills you may find useful in your quest. Remember that secrecy and discretion are paramount to your success. You will not be able to hide the fact that you are a Jedi, nor should you. But the true nature of your mission must not reach Malak's ears. You may return here at any time. Dantooine will be a sanctuary for you, a safe haven. Here you can find supplies and whatever advice or other aid we may give you."

She wanted to say that they could count on her, that she wouldn't fail them, but she said neither. She didn't know if she'd be able to keep those promises. Instead, she chose a neutral response. 

"When do I leave?"

Vandar seemed to approve, but clearly Vrook did not. Still, he didn't seem to approve of anything really, so this came as no surprise.

"You may leave whenever you wish; the sooner the better. The longer you wait the stronger Malak becomes. But first a warning, young Padawan: The lure of the dark side is difficult to resist. I fear this quest to find the Star Forge could lead you down an all too familiar path."

"The fate of the galaxy is in your hands, young Padawan" Vandar said, interrupting Vrook while appearing not to. Nevertheless, she was grateful. Thinking about what he had said was giving her one of the worst headaches she'd had so far. "We pray you are up to the challenge. May the Force be with you."

Shaking her head, she approached Master Dorak, who smiled warmly, if somewhat absently.

"Greetings, young Padawan. Have you come seeking knowledge of the past? Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it, or so they say. As Chronicler of the Academy here on Dantooine, I find your quest for knowledge admirable. But I do not want to overwhelm you with the long history of the Jedi Order. You should ponder the history of Revan; it contains many lessons you may need if we hope to defeat Malak and the Sith."

Alriah tilted her head, contemplating the man. She had listened to his and Master Vandar's lectures, and to Master Zhar's speeches and Vrook's rants. Still, she wanted to know what he thought she should be gaining from the story.

"What am I supposed to learn from this?"

The scholar nodded approvingly, sensing the true intent behind her question.

"Revan's tale shows us how even the greatest of the Jedi can fall to the dark side. You must always be on guard against the evil that dwells within you. Think hard upon this lesson."

That was an interesting answer. He had not said something like "the evil that dwells within us all," as she might have expected. He had been very specific. Either he knew about the shadow and interpreted it as evil, or her connection to Revan...

'Ahh!'

Her silent cry alerted Bastila immediately, and the young woman rushed to her aid. To her surprise, Bastila didn't just strengthen her, she pushed against the barrier, sheer will forcing it back just slightly so Alriah could think. The older woman smiled, relieved and pleased. Relieved because now she could think without almost immediately being overwhelmed by pain, and pleased because only sheer force of desperation, fear, and concern could have moved that wall. She had yet to reach that level of desperation and was unwilling to try, especially not here in front of the Masters. Bastila's quick thinking and action had kept her from even stumbling before the Council and allowed her to recover quickly enough that Master Dorak apparently didn't notice the long pause. 

"Where are the Academy's archives?" she asked curiously now that she could think clearly enough for the question to occur to her. She had discovered quite a bit of information on her own, but she hadn't actually seen these vast archives the Jedi spoke of. 

"This facility is a training academy. The archives here are restricted to those who have attained the rank of Master. We must protect overeager Padawans from being exposed to dangerous knowledge. The pursuit of knowledge is a noble goal, but there are some things that require the wisdom of a Master to truly understand."

"I will think on this, Master Dorak," she replied, though inwardly she wondered. Bastila had made some reference to seeing the archives, and she knew that her studies had taken her on courses she doubted the Masters would want "overeager Padawans" to take. So either they had counted on most Padawans not knowing what questions to ask or there was some other reason she had discovered the information contained there. 

"May the Force be with you," Dorak said, interrupting her thoughts. She smiled at him and bowed slightly before turning away. She liked Master Dorak. He was a kind soul, if a little too caught up in academic pursuits. Still, he was brilliant and sensible, as well as capable of a certain amount of neutrality that some of the other Masters clearly weren't.

'Bastila...'

Before she could continue, Vandar called her attention to him. She turned to look at him, curious to find both him and Vrook looking between the two women, one with a certain amount of cautious respect, the other with something not unlike rage and disdain.

"You must not fail in your mission. Find the Star Maps that lead to the Star Forge. This is the only way to stop Malak and his Sith followers. You and Bastila are the galaxy's last, desperate hope."

Vrook twitched visibly, his shadowed eyes almost feral for a moment before calming. Obviously he had not taken very well to Bastila meddling with the barrier in her mind. Perhaps he had helped put it there.

"But beware the dark side. Bastila will guide you, but she herself is young and new to the ways of the Jedi. You must help her as much as she helps you." 

That was no great burden. She had already agreed to do such a thing, and would have done it anyway. To do otherwise would not have been right or fair. What she did notice was that Vandar had said nothing about Bastila guiding her. Only Vrook had said any such thing. That was curious, but as Master Vandar spoke again, she turned her attention back to him.

"The fate of the galaxy is in your hands, young Padawan. We pray you are up to the challenge. May the Force be with you."

She was part of the way back to the Ebon Hawk before remembering a question she had wanted to ask Vrook, who seemed to be more or less in charge of domestic matters. As she walked up to him, he glared and commented acidly, "It is good that you are still alive, Padawan, in that you have not yet managed to fail us completely. Why is it that you are now bothering me instead of seeking out the Star Map?"

She chose to ignore his commentary and get right to her question rather than prolong this conversation with the bitter old man. 

"Why does the Council not stop the Mandalorian raiders?"

Vrook grunted, and she got the sense that for once he wasn't annoyed at her when she spoke. Instead he actually considered the question before answering. 

"So you heard about them, did you? They have been harmless up until now. It is tragic that someone had to die before we took action. You have our leave to deal with the murdering Mandalorian raiders should you encounter them."

His look as he finished clearly indicated that she had better state some important business with him or leave. She decided that a diplomatic retreat was probably wisest, and immediately followed that course.

"I am sorry, Master Vrook. I will go."

"You have a mission to attend to, Padawan. And as much as I may wish it otherwise, you are our only hope. The Council has placed the fate of the galaxy within your hands. I pray both you and Bastila are able to emerge from this ordeal as servants of the light. May the force be with you, young Padawan."

Of that small speech, only the last half was free of Vrook's typical distaste for her. He was being honest, and she appreciated it. He did want the women to succeed, and he honestly hoped for their well-being. She bowed respectfully and strode away, catching up with her companions where they waited near the Ebon Hawk. Before she could meet them, however, a young Twi'lek by the name of Deesra stopped her, introducing himself as Master Dorak's apprentice. Immediately she paid him her full attention, and was glad she did. His warning about the beasts called terrentak was disturbing, and she had the distinct feeling she'd be grateful for her attention later. Another Twi'lek stopped her, making her wonder idly if there was something about her that drew Twi'lek. This one called himself Lur Aka Sulas, and he was looking for a human girl named Sasha, who had been kidnapped. After agreeing that she'd look out for the girl despite knowing it was a long shot, she was finally able to meet up with her companions. Mission and Bastila waited for her at the Hawk's boarding ramp, and she gave Mission a smile then turned to Bastila and looked at her for a long moment in silence, until the woman twitched under her dark eyes.

'_What is it?_'

'Thank you for earlier,' she replied simply, all her gratitude and warmth for the woman slipping into her tone. Bastila blushed slightly and turned away, just as yet another Twi'lek approached.

'Are Twi'lek really this common on Dantooine?' she asked. She hadn't noticed many of them, but perhaps Bastila knew something she didn't on the matter.

'_No... not really... actually, I believe you have met almost the entire population of the planet,_' Bastila replied, sounding confused herself.

"Mission? Is that you?" the pretty Twi'lek asked, surprising the two humans by speaking Basic. Apparently Mission recognized her, because she immediately launched into a fit of rage. Alriah listened with half of her attention, chiming in when appropriate to calm the teenager down but otherwise staying out of it. Apparently this was the Lena Mission's brother had left with, but she was nothing like Mission had described her. It was clear, however, that she was a dancer, and from the way she moved she was talented in many forms of dance... probably including those that weren't usually performed in public places...

'_Are you quite finished?_' Bastila asked acidly, her eyes flashing. Alriah turned, trusting that the two Twi'lek were distracted enough to not notice.

'Finished with what?' she asked, confused. Bastila was so angry that any control she might have had had vanished, leaving her emotions exposed for a moment before she realized how much she was revealing. 

'You... You're jealous!' Alriah realized. There was no denying what she had sensed in that great wash. 'What do you possibly have to be jealous of!'

Bastila glared, radiating menace that seemed to include both the dancer and Alriah. 

'_Do not mock me! I was not jealous! I simply think that you have better things to do with your time than contemplate the talents of some dancing girl that just wandered up to you as if you were some... some sort of... _man_! This has nothing to do with jealousy!_'

Alriah smiled, further infuriating her companion. Bastila sounded so disgusted at the thought, which amused her deeply. After all, Bastila apparently wasn't accustomed to the thought of a woman being interested in other women, which Alriah could tell was one of the reasons she so thoroughly unbalanced her. She was probably a few too many new experiences for the somewhat sheltered, naive Jedi to handle. That didn't mean she was above teasing the woman.

'And just what is so bad about contemplating the talents of a dancing girl, Bastila? Even women are capable of appreciating the... assets and talents of other women, especially those who are especially gifted with such things. You should know that. In any case, it was an idle thought, nothing more.'

'_Idle thought! You were practically undressing the woman with your eyes!_' Bastila retorted sharply, not helping her cause in the least, '_Not that she needs much undressing, Why not just use the Force and get it over with?_' she added with a dark look, her tone bitter and angry.

'My dear Bastila,' Alriah said calmly, though she actually was feeling a rather guilty thrill at the response to her imagined sins, and at the idea of doing such a thing, though she'd certainly not use such a thing on the Twi'lek, 'Lena is not my type. I tend to favor those who are a little more...'

She paused, searching for the right words, then slowly, deliberately, looked Bastila up and down. The message was clear, but she decided to make it almost impossible for the often dense woman to miss her meaning.

'Well, I prefer those with a little more spirit for one. And a contrary attitude. Not to mention eyes that flash like lightning at some times and at others can be softer than silk.'

It wasn't like her to be so blatant or blunt, but she wanted to make her point excessively clear while still not quite saying anything specific enough to be beyond caution or tact.

'_Alriah, that is... I... I don't know what you are talking about! Honestly, you are a confusing, infuriating woman!_'

'Be that as it may,' she said, seeing her victory near at hand but unwilling to risk Bastila's self-control to obtain it, 'I was not undressing Lena in any sense. Now, calm yourself Bastila. As beautiful as you are when you're angry, you need to mind your emotions. It's one thing to experience them, but quite another to let them control you.'

Bastila flushed darkly despite how gentle the rebuke had been, and once again she turned away, going into the Ebon Hawk and leaving Alriah to deal with Mission and Lena. She was worried about Bastila, and while she sensed that the younger woman had control of herself again, she wondered about that explosion. While on one hand she was both flattered and gratified by Bastila's possessive jealousy, she didn't want the Jedi to lose herself in it. That was a dangerous path and could easily lead to a fall to the dark side. 

'I am sorry. I did not mean to be harsh, but I worry for you...'

She almost expected Bastila to tell her off or tell her there was no need, but to her surprise, the younger woman just looked at her for a long moment through the bond with such abject terror in her thoughts and gaze that Alriah almost stumbled back. Bastila shook herself and retreated from the contact, leaving her to calm Mission as Lena walked away. Her first instinct was to rush after the younger Jedi, but something told her that would be the wrong move. Instead, she walked up the boarding ramp and found Juhani near the storage compartment wearing red robes that were very different from the skintight powder blue and brown-orange garment she had worn before. The young Cathar smiled slightly at the sight of her, and Alriah was relieved to see that at least this Jedi wasn't afraid of her. While the reverence and awe she did see was disturbing and confusing, it was much less painful than fear would have been.

"I feel I must apologize for the way I acted towards you before, in the grove" Juhani said softly as she approached and they had some privacy. "It was wrong of me."

Alriah shook her head. She wasn't surprised Juhani still felt guilty, but she really did not blame the young woman. If anyone was responsible for Juhani's "fall" it was the Council for their inappropriate management of the situation. Cathar could be trained to do many things, including control their wild emotions, but they needed a great deal of help to do so. The Council had apparently not provided that.

"You thought the dark side had consumed you," she continued, her dark eyes meeting fierce yellow calmly and without prejudice, "It is nothing."

Those catlike eyes widened, but still Juhani seemed burdened. Alriah sighed inwardly, knowing the young woman would need to prove herself before she would allow herself to release the guilt. Little did she know that she'd already proven herself in the dark woman's eyes.

"I am sorry for attacking you," Juhani continued sadly, as if she hadn't heard or quite processed Alriah's comment, then added with even more shame, "I am sorry for thinking you would only try to kill me. I hope that by helping you in your task I may redeem myself in your eyes... and in my own."

That was the real problem. Juhani could not forgive herself, as Alriah had thought. She decided then and there that the best thing she could possibly do was encourage the woman and reassure her as best she could.

"Do not worry, Juhani. I forgive you."

"Thank you..." the cat-woman replied, managing to smile faintly as she commented, "it is most reassuring to know that you can forgive me, even though I tried to take your life. I can only hope that, in our time journeying together, I will succeed."

Alriah could see her determination and fierce devotion to her promise and shook her head. She didn't doubt for a moment that Juhani was capable of doing anything she set her mind to, which included learning to control her more feral impulses, but she hoped the young woman would also learn that ignoring or suppressing her emotions, much less her true nature, was the quickest way to the dark side. Many people underestimated the Cathar, but some part of her knew better than to make that mistake. 

"How may I be of assistance, Padawan?" Juhani asked uncertainly as she continued to fix an appraising gaze on the woman.

"I had hoped we could talk," the Sentinel replied after a long moment. It was true. There was quite a lot she didn't know about Juhani, and she hoped to learn, and in the learning help the girl find herself.

"What would you like to speak to me about?" she asked, sounding both uncertain and touched. It was no wonder, though. Clearly almost no one had taken the time to learn about this talented young Jedi, and that was a mistake. Bastila, at least, seemed to know something, and she respected the other Jedi for that.

"How did you come to be a Jedi?"

"How I came to be a Jedi?" the Cathar asked, clearly startled, "I am sure you would not find it very interesting..." 

Alriah smiled, keeping an interested, patient expression on her face. She honestly did want to know. It was just a matter of finding out if Juhani was willing to tell her. Finally the young woman asked, "Are you sure you would like to hear?"

"Yes," she replied firmly trying to be as reassuring as possible, "Please continue."

"Well..." the Guardian started slowly, clearly unaccustomed to being asked questions about herself, much less actually being given a chance to answer in her own words, "it goes back a number of years... Back on my home world we did not see Jedi very often, especially where I lived."

The first question that came to mind was about the Cathar home world, but she discarded it. She got the sense that many of Juhani's troubles came from the fact that she had spent most of her life isolated and misunderstood. She doubted that would have happened on the Cathar world. She also knew that the Cathar home world had been destroyed, and while she thought Juhani might have been old enough to be born there, she certainly couldn't have grown up there.

"Where did you live?" she asked instead, curious. Juhani's expression twisted to one of disdain, and she began to wonder if she couldn't guess the answer.

"The hind end of space. A pit of a world, to be sure. Where Jedi rarely tread... But we had heard of them," the Jedi laughed faintly, and Alriah thought she detected a note of deprecation in it, but Juhani pressed on so she didn't comment, just listened. 

"Well, everyone had, so that is not to be unexpected. Champions of truth. Defenders of justice. Heroes of the Republic," Juhani paused, her gaze distant and her voice nostalgic. "It was very easy for a child to be enthralled by their image, their mystique. Maybe I was one of those children."

"Did you meet a Jedi?" Alriah asked, not wanting to interrupt what seemed to be some of the young Cathar's more pleasant memories, but she wanted her to be able to finish the story, and she had the feeling that if she let it go on too long she might be interrupted.

"Yes... Yes I did. When I saw a Jedi for the first time they lived up to everything my imagination had created them to be. I was awed..." Juhani blushed, looking at her with eyes that shown with some barely contained, inexpressible emotion, "and maybe a bit enamored..."

Alriah's dark eyebrows rose, her black eyes widening slightly. The significance of the look wasn't lost on her, but she didn't quite understand its full depth. Clearly there was a piece of information she was missing. A critical one, if she was any judge. She asked the only question she could think of, her mind cautiously sorting through possibilities.

"Enamored?"

Juhani smiled slowly, obviously seeing the surprise, confusion, and the beginnings of understanding on her face.

"They were quite striking... especially the tales of their leader," she replied, her tone almost caressing that memory from long ago, "From that moment on I knew that I would have to try to become a Jedi. To lift myself out of the rut I had been living in for years and to make a real difference, as the Jedi were. The foolish delusions of a child. But THIS child made it happen!" 

Fierce yellow eyes flashed, the cat-woman's face intense and almost proud. Alriah agreed with the sentiment. That couldn't have been easy. That would be a story for another time, though.

"As soon as I was able I left my world and went in search of them. I found them and was accepted. I had been living my dream on Dantooine for several years before you came." 

She paused, and her voice became pained as she continued. 

"Although... perhaps I was not entirely ready for it... or not completely suited to the task. Otherwise I would not have fallen... 

She shook herself, meeting Alriah's dark eyes with mixed relief and awe and added, "But thanks to you I have been redeemed. Perhaps I may yet live to see that dream of mine come true. Come, there is much we should do. Let us not waste time talking. Action is what is needed."

Alriah might have turned away then, but something she sensed from Juhani froze her in place for a moment. The young Cathar watched her in uncertain silence, then the older woman asked simply, "Are you doing alright?"

"I... I thank you for your concern, but I am still a bit shaken," Juhani replied, surprising herself with her honesty. Alriah got the impression that she hadn't even realized how shaken she had been until she'd asked. Of course, that was one of the reasons she had asked.

"What is wrong?" she asked, the question coming out somewhat awkwardly. She had meant to say something a little different, but just then something changed on Bastila's end of their bond. She knew she couldn't abandon her talk with Juhani, but she needed to know what was going on with Bastila. She forced herself to focus on the young Cathar, but some of her attention was devoted to ensuring that whatever was going on didn't reach any sort of crisis point. Juhani, for her part, took her silence as a chance to think, and when she spoke she had gathered her thoughts and had an answer ready when Alriah's attention returned to her.

"I have been thinking about myself, about Quatra... and about my anger. I keep thinking that it was my anger that drove me that far, that nearly damned me. I look inside myself now and I can still see it, I still feel it."

Alriah could understand that. She knew she had the ability to go into a violent rage, or to be capable of uncontrollable emotions. Her attraction to Bastila could almost fit into that category. But a Cathar, who naturally had stronger, wilder emotions than a human, it was much worse. She decided right then that if she did nothing else for the girl, she would show the beautiful Cathar that she could be in control.

"Perhaps you just need more time," she temporized, knowing she certainly needed more time to think about the matter and the chance to devote her full attention to determining the best course of action.

"More time would do me good," Juhani replied, nodding, "Time to distance myself from my anger. I think that is why the Council agreed to send me with you. They think, perhaps, that in your company I will be able to free myself from it."

"I cannot afford to look after you all the time, Juhani," she warned gently, then added, "but if I see you begin to slip back, I will intervene."

That was the best she could do for the girl, and apparently Juhani thought this was enough. She didn't seem to realize that she was distracted, for which Alriah was grateful. She didn't want to be delayed any longer. 

"I thank you for your concern and your acceptance. I will strive to prove that I am worthy of our company and trust."

Alriah smiled. In a gesture that was rarely recognized by any but Cathar, she reached out and carefully traced an arch from the corner of one fierce eye back to the base of one of those sharp ears. Juhani's eyes widened, and catlike she leaned into the caress, a sound that might almost have been purring rising from deep in her chest. Alriah smiled and turned away, feeling those intense eyes staring after her. She was concerned, though, that the Cathar gesture would be misinterpreted. It usually meant friendship, trust and affection. Sometimes it was even a parental gesture. She hadn't taken into account the woman's apparently rather intense feelings for her, however. Damning herself for uncharacteristic carelessness, she started toward the bridge, the place she had sensed Bastila last, but Mission, Zaalbar, and Canderous stopped her to ask what they were going to be doing, and she felt she owed them an explanation.

'Alriah...'

Bastila's summons immediately caught her attention, and this time she felt justified in politely but quickly excusing herself to seek out the woman. She found her on the bridge staring out the windows, but as she approached the younger woman turned.

"How can I help?" she asked, as she always did. Alriah frowned, uncertain of herself. Bastila had summoned her, so her behavior seemed rather odd.

"You wanted to speak to me?" she asked, her tone and thoughts conveying her confusion. Bastila just shook her head, her face a mask and her thoughts almost to chaotic to be understood.

"Yes, I did. I wanted to speak to you about our mission. About what lies ahead for us. It seems fate, or the Force, is driving us into a confrontation with the Dark Lord. You must prepare yourself for when we face Malak. The confrontation will be difficult for you," Bastila paused, wondering if she had said too much, then added in a soft, haunted tone, "I remember how hard it was when I first faced Revan."

"Is it true you killed Darth Revan?" Alriah asked curiously, reminded of the stories she had heard. Something about those stories hadn't seemed to ring quite true, and now she had an opening to ask. She would, however, try to get back to the subject of why her battle with Malak would be so difficult for her personally, but that could wait. Bastila, for her part, hesitated for a long moment before answering, and when she did the older Jedi got the distinct feeling she was holding back.

"It's true that, due to my Battle Meditation, I was with the Jedi strike team that boarded Revan's ship. We did not kill Revan, however."

That wasn't entirely a surprise, but still she wondered what could have happened to hurt the proud young woman so deeply.

"That's not what I heard," she said bluntly, hoping for a more direct answer in return. Disturbingly, Bastila's eyes glazed over slightly, leaving her looking lost and forlorn. Alriah almost, though not quite, wished she hadn't asked.

"Our mission was to capture Revan, if possible. It was Malak who turned on his own master, firing upon Revan's ship while we were still on board it. It was his desire to kill us and his master both. Thankfully, we narrowly escaped the vessel as it exploded."

That would be something a Sith would do, but some part of the story seemed to be missing. Did that 'we' somehow include Revan, or had her apprentice and former best friend actually killed the Dark Lord? That wasn't a question she was quite ready to ask, not until she knew more about the limits of the barriers in her mind, so instead she tried to find a way to take that look from Bastila's face.

"What else did you expect from the Sith?" she commented dryly, hoping for some levity, but once again Bastila's expression remained serious and wounded.

"True, I suppose," she replied, despair in her voice, "And yet the outcome of that battle was... unexpected. To all of us. Revan's end was... unforeseen. As I said, we were there to capture Revan alive." 

Bastila shook her head almost violently, her almost opaque eyes looking off into the distance at something Alriah knew tormented her in some way.

"The Jedi do not believe in killing their prisoners. No one deserves execution, no matter what their crimes. Remember that Revan and Malak were once great Jedi. Heroes in every sense of the word. They demonstrate the danger of the dark side to us all." 

Alriah almost stumbled at the sheer intensity of the younger Sentinel's grief, regret and guilt as she said those words, but before she could say anything, Bastila turned away, though not before Alriah thought she saw tears falling from her eyes.

"I'm sorry. We really shouldn't speak of this anymore. The memory of my confrontation with Revan is... painful. Let's return to the mission, please."

It was so shocking to hear Bastila begging that she agreed. Before the young woman could rush away, though, Alriah caught her arm and pulled her into an embrace. The action was enough of a surprise that Bastila hadn't been able to prepare for it, and it said much for her mental state that she hadn't sensed the motion, nor did she pull away immediately. Instead, she leaned into her touch, just for a moment allowing herself the chance to be hurt and fragile. She bent her head slightly, just enough that her ear was pressed against Alriah's heart. The strong beat seemed to course through her, filling the empty, echoing spaces. The older Jedi could sense that sound, that feeling, becoming the only thing Bastila was aware of for a long moment, then the other woman pulled away and retreated rapidly.

'_I... I think I should... I should rest... clearly I am over tired._'

Alriah let her go this time, though her black eyes followed her as long as she could see the woman.

'One step forward, two or three steps back,' she commented to herself, hoping the thought wouldn't be transmitted over their bond. She elected to give Bastila a few minutes to calm herself before speaking to her again, so she went back to her companions to explain the situation. Juhani, who hadn't been present for Taris, listened eagerly to stories of their mission on that world, and grieved with Alriah for its loss in a way only another Jedi could. Once Alriah had sensed that Bastila had calmed down sufficiently, she went back to the bridge, and, as always, the younger woman asked, "How can I help?"

She'd used the time with the other Jedi to think about what she wanted to ask, knowing it had to be general enough that Bastila would answer but specific enough to get some information. Her conversation with Juhani had actually been a great help in that regard.

"I'd like to know more about you, Bastila," she started cautiously. The Sentinel seemed somewhat surprised and a little guarded, but still open, which was a good sign.

"Yes, I suppose I can understand your curiosity, given the bond that connects us. Very well, I'll tell you a bit about myself," she replied, as Alriah had hoped she would. She smiled to herself, knowing that if she could keep her wits about her, she could get what she was after.

"Tell me how you joined the Jedi, then."

For a moment Bastila's emotions were walled off, but as the wall came down Alriah realized that Bastila hadn't meant to block her out. Whatever the history here, she had very strong feelings about it.

"I was found to be strong with the Force at a young age, as most Padawans are," she started, her voice slipping into a smoother, gentler cadence and tone than what was her normal for her, and the older woman stayed carefully silent in both thought and speech. She wanted to keep Bastila talking like this for as long as possible. 

"As a girl I was given to the Order to be trained. When I joined the Order I left my family on Talravin, as all Padawans do. My family is still there, the last that I heard," the younger Sentinel sighed, her eyes shadowed as she added, "I have had little contact with them, as it is discouraged."

"Discouraged? The Jedi separates children from their families? Why?" she asked, having to force herself not to sound sharp. She could guess the Jedi wouldn't want the separation to be too stressful or emotional, but if they completely isolated a child from their families, or their people as they had with Juhani... well, it was no wonder that some of the greatest Jedi rebelled. If that was the case, the Order was more corrupt than it could afford to be. All organizations with power were corrupt in some way, but...

"Relationships with family members are fraught with powerful emotions. Such extremes are to be avoided. Anger and hate are the worst, but even love can lead to folly," Bastila was saying, drawing her thoughts back to their apparently inevitable conclusion.

"You aren't allowed to love?" she asked softly, seeing and sensing a flare of pain from her companion. Bastila's eyes watered, and for just a second she reached out, the tips of her fingers just brushing the back of her hand before she pulled back, shaking her head almost violently.

"Emotional entanglements can be dangerous. They can impair rational thought; they can lead to outbursts of uncontrolled emotion. A Jedi must be above such things."

It sounded like she was quoting her masters, and it hurt to hear.

"You don't sound very convinced," Alriah observed sadly. Bastila's face and mind were haunted, and she could understand the pain. Though she came across as cold and aristocratic, she had sensed and seen such potential for love and compassion from the young woman, but someone had told her it wasn't allowed, so she didn't allow it of herself.

"It can be a hard lesson to learn," Bastila replied in a pained whisper, confirming her thoughts, then she shook herself, changing the topic slightly to something a little less painful. 

"I was not on good terms with all of my family, but I do remember missing my father terribly for a long time."

"You and your father were close?" Alriah asked, confident she could guess who Bastila hadn't gotten on well with.

"Very close," Bastila replied with a soft smile that looked like it belonged on a little girl, not a grown woman. Of course, at times Bastila was very much the child. 

"I was only a little girl when I left my family, but I still remember him fondly. He was kind and gentle and doted on me. My mother, however, was different. I was not on good terms with my mother."

Bastila's eyes darkened, and Alriah knew her suspicions had panned out.

"I was only a little girl when I left," she repeated, "but I was old enough to resent her and the way she treated my father. She pushed my father into treasure hunting. I spent all my young life on ships traveling from one false lead to the next. She whittled away my father's entire fortune, and I hated her for it. I think she was relieved to give me to the Jedi, but my father was heartbroken."

The scout frowned, sensing Bastila's anger rising like a black wave as she stewed, and she quickly asked a question, hoping to get her thoughts off the subject of her mother, which was clearly a dangerous one.

"You never tried to get in touch with your father again?"

The black tide eased somewhat, and while she was still angry and bitter, she relaxed somewhat.

"A child is too young to understand the sacrifices that must be made. It is better if they have no contact with their family once they are removed. Once I was older I realized the wisdom of this policy. A Jedi must do what is needed, personal desires notwithstanding. Love can only obscure and confuse the matter."

Once again Bastila's eyes and thoughts were haunted and sad. Once again she reached out, apparently involuntarily, her fingertips brushing Alriah's hand.

"You sound very sad when you say that."

Bastila looked away, but her hand trembled slightly. Alriah's black eyes bored into Bastila's, the other woman's pain tearing through her. 

"Are you saying you no longer feel love?" she asked, her voice low and intense.

"Even a Jedi cannot always control the feelings of the heart. We must do our best to guard against it, no matter what the cost," Bastila answered weakly, her eyes unable to leave Alriah's, "But some sacrifices are harder than others." 

She finally looked away, but her hand grasped the other woman's tightly before she realized what she was doing and pulled away again.

"I... I do not wish to discuss this anymore. I would rather return to our mission."

Alriah agreed, but only because she knew that she didn't need to press the issue. Bastila knew what she would say, and she was thinking about it. That's what mattered. Unlike many things, the younger Sentinel could not dismiss this. Alriah wouldn't allow it. If Bastila closed herself to love, that dark tide waiting inside her would overwhelm the strongest defense she had. It had already started. What bothered her was that she, a novice, could see the darkness in Bastila so clearly, while the more experienced Bastila and at least the master who had trained her initially could not.

'If even I know better... what is happening to the Jedi Order?'

She shook her head, knowing she wouldn't be able to find the answers yet. She would, but not yet. Instead, she had Bastila and Carth follow her out to the shops for one more quick check of their equipment. Once she was sure that they had the best equipment they could, she headed back to the ship. As they approached, she stopped abruptly and sighed slightly. Her companions looked at her oddly, right up until a Twi'lek female approached them several seconds later. 

'Bastila...?'

'_Don't ask me,_' she replied, '_there never seemed to be this many Twi'lek here before._'

The pale golden woman walked up to Bastila and asked in huttese, "Excuse me... I know it's been a very long time, dear, but aren't you Bastila, Helena's little girl?" 

She looked closely into purple-gray eyes, and her own eyes widened. 

"Yes - it is you! I can see it in the eyes. My how you've grown!"

Alriah wanted to laugh. One of the things about Bastila that had always drawn her attention was her unusual eyes, and if this woman knew Bastila's parents, that would be a distinctive feature. And imagining Bastila as a little girl was too cute. Apparently Bastila herself wasn't so amused.

"I am Bastila, yes. I take it that you know my mother?" she asked coolly, her voice cool and her posture stiff. The woman seemed taken aback, but she recovered quickly, as if she was accustomed to such behavior, which she probably was.

"Oh, yes. I worked for your father on an expedition years ago. Your mother showed me holos of you before you... well, before you left. Such a pretty little girl you were."

'_Malare, perhaps? She worked for my father many years ago, when I was still a baby. He talked about her at times. She was very skilled at keeping my mother occupied..._'

The implications of that were too many to think through now, and Alriah doubted it was particularly relevant. At least she had a name for the woman.

"Is there something I can do for you, miss? As you can see, we are in quite a hurry," Bastila commented out loud, her body language and tone a clear dismissal. Her thoughts were less sure, and the black tide was slowly rising again.

"Don't be rude, Bastila," Alriah chided gently, locking Bastila's eyes with her own and calming her through their bond. Malare seemed to understand, but clearly she had a purpose.

"Oh, I didn't mean to take up your time. I just wanted to ask you if your mother's condition has improved any since I saw her."

Bastila started, fixing intense eyes on the Twi'lek.

"My mother's condition?" she asked sharply, her tone one of patent disbelief. 

"Oh, you... you don't know?" Malare asked, startled. For the first time she seemed truly upset, and she looked at Bastila with pain and pity in her eyes, which didn't settle well with "Oh, dear. I just thought... I assumed that she had found you. When I talked to her last, she was desperate to find you..."

"I have not seen my mother since I joined the Order," Bastila replied, and Alriah heard her thoughts immediately shift to her father. Only then did she sense any fear or concern. 

"Do you know what has happened? Did she... say anything about my father?"

Alriah wondered just how horrible this Helena must have been to earn such total disregard and unconcern from her daughter. This wasn't a new thing, she sensed, and it said much about Bastila's past, and of the woman herself. At the moment her best guess was that somehow her mother had caused her so much pain and fear that Bastila no longer had any to spare for her. Malare seemed to notice this as well, but she went on, perhaps hoping that what she had to say would reach the young woman.

"I'm sorry, dear, but your mother is very ill. So she told me." 

Seeing Bastila's impatience and agitation, as Alriah had, Malare added, "She didn't say anything about your father, however. I didn't see him."

"I see. Where did you meet her, do you remember?" Bastila asked coldly. Alriah shook her head, wishing Bastila wasn't so strongly reminding her of the sith governor they'd fought on Taris. In some ways her bearing right now resembled his very closely. 

"I saw her on Tatooine, dear. She said she'd been there for a while. Maybe she's still there?" Malare answered uncertainly, unable to look Bastila in the eye. Instead she looked to Alriah and was met with understanding and thanks from those black eyes. Bastila didn't notice the exchange, instead turning away in obvious dismissal.

"Thank you for informing me. I really must be going now." 

Malare rushed away gratefully, and the older Sentinel turned to her companion, her dark eyes concerned and searching.

"What's this all about?" she asked, meaning Bastila's attitude and bearing. The other Jedi either chose to ignore the meaning, or she was just oblivious. Neither boded well for her mental state.

"It seems my mother has been looking for me. Strange. Should we get the opportunity, could we look for her on Tatooine?"

The dark woman sighed to herself. Whatever this situation was needed to be resolved quickly, if only for the sake of Bastila's sanity. Still, she was curious as to what the younger woman was really after, because she could sense that Bastila had no desire to see her mother. 

"I thought you and your mother didn't get along?"

"We never did," she replied a touch sharply, then looked up, her eyes softening as she realized how she was behaving. She was too proud to apologize out loud where Carth might hear, but her thoughts were a definite second best.

'_I do apologize, Alriah. I did not mean to take my temper out on you._'

Alriah gave in, allowing herself smile at the other woman, but her thoughts were concerned. She resolved to keep an eye on Bastila. Something was very off with her at times, and Alriah feared for her.

We can certainly go, if you think it's important," she said aloud. It wasn't a particular issue to her. Tatooine was the first stop she had planned, so it wasn't as if they were going out of their way.

"It is important enough that my mother was attempting to seek me out. Perhaps it has something to do with my father." 

Some of Bastila's previous ire returned then, and she added, "Part of me would rather not see her at all. But if she is really sick... well, we shall see."

Had they been alone and Bastila less upset and confused, Alriah would have asked more, but things were as they were. What disturbed her most was not the anger or even the cold disregard. Those were things that could be discussed and brought to light. The confusion that was rising in Bastila's mind, however, was overshadowing everything, and that was something that could not be talked out. This kind of confusion came from something too deep for words. She sensed the only thing that would ease it was action, but she didn't know of what sort yet. The first step was getting to Tatooine and finding Helena. Things would become clearer after that.

'I hope...' she muttered inwardly, where Bastila couldn't hear. With a quick gesture she led her companions back aboard the Ebon Hawk, her eyes and mind following Bastila unconsciously. Finally they took off, and Alriah took some time to talk to Mission, who had finally calmed down somewhat. Apparently Griff was on Tatooine as well, and as she had with Bastila she reassured Mission that if they could, they would look for him. While it was true their mission was important, in her mind the people with her deserved answers and would do better once they had them. No one should have to go into battle with endless questions. That was potentially deadly.

"Alriah Dakari!"

She turned, sensing the owner of that voice rushing down the corridors. She smiled faintly at the image of Zaalbar's huge frame navigating the narrow ship's halls, but when he approached with an almost panicked look on his face she sobered. When he explained that their food stores had been tampered with, however, she almost laughed. Wookies had a love of food that she had never seen rivaled. Still, it was curious, so she agreed to investigate. As she entered the hold, she sensed the smallest whisper of a presence, and knew that there was indeed a stowaway. Whoever it was was not Force Sensitive, or a warrior. In fact, she doubted the person was an adult. As she paced the ship, she could hear footsteps now and then, and again that whisper of a presence, and turned back to the cargo hold. Whoever it was had returned there. As she rounded the corner, she came face to face with a small human girl. 

'Something is off here... I think I know who she is.'

She spoke softly, asking the girl who she was and why she was on the Ebon Hawk, but the girl clearly didn't understand. Instead she grew frightened, crying out in what sounded like garbled Mandalorian. She briefly considering asking Canderous about what she was saying, but rejected the idea immediately. The big, imposing warrior would probably frighten the poor girl out of her wits, and she knew she understood Mandalorian very well. What the girl spoke was different, and yet not.

'So... where to start...'

She decided to try to learn the girl's language and kneeled, looking her in the eye. When the girl said something, she asked about each word, determining that bristag meant ship, laesfa was home, and yum, obviously, meant food. Little by little she determined that when the girl had shouted 'no abds!' at her, she had meant that she didn't want to be hurt. The 'manalory' had hurt the girl, which she understood meant that the Mandalorians had captured her and beat her. She had escaped and hidden on the Ebon Hawk. Finally she understood enough to ask her name, and was not surprised to find that her name was Sasha. 

'I was right...'

Just to be sure, she asked about the girl's former home, and after a moment's thought, she answered that it had been Dantooine. She asked about Lur Aka Sulas, but Sasha didn't understand. She smiled at the girl, handing her some food when her stomach rumbled, and the girl laughed, communicating that she liked the tall Jedi and told her she wanted to know more about her. Alriah smiled softly, but knew the language barrier would keep that from being easily done. 

'Bastila? Could you tell Carth to go back to Dantooine? We need to take our young stowaway home.'

Bastila, who had been watching her interaction with the girl, agreed, and they had shortly turned around. She spent the time talking with Sasha, telling her a little about herself. After a while Bastila had come to stand in the doorway, watching her with a mix of sadness and pleasure. As they approached Dantooine she left, only to be replaced by Juhani. She smiled at the Cathar and asked her to keep Sasha company while she found the man who had been looking for her. At first Juhani was reluctant and unsure, but Sasha's quizzical nature quickly had Juhani learning her odd language and talking with her as well. 

'That's better... I knew Juhani had it in her.'

Once they landed she found Lur Aka Sulas almost immediately, right where he had been before. She gave him a quick explanation of her stowaway's situation, and he followed her to the Ebon Hawk with no hesitation. He immediately understood what she had meant by her warnings, but after a brief reassurance from Alriah Sasha was willing to go with him. As the girl was leaving, she sensed that Sasha had a good future ahead of her. She also sensed that the girl's path would shortly leave Dantooine, and she was grateful for that. Something didn't feel right here. It was like the calm before some great storm. She looked out over the plains of Dantooine and decided that she needed to do one last thing here. She left the ship on her own, searching for the place she needed to be.

'Circles... there are always circles...'

She just hoped this one wouldn't go the way she thought it would. Nonetheless she found herself in the ancient grove, and she knew then that her fears would soon become reality. It was as inevitable as her arrival here, as Revan's had been before her.

'She came here, just as I did, to say goodbye...'

With a sigh she settled herself into a meditation pose. All around her she could sense the taint that the Jedi claimed came from here, but this was not the source. The source was at the very heart of Dantooine and its people. This planet had become warped, and because of that it would have to be swept clean for the taint to end. The thought pained her. For that to happen many would have to die, and that was never good or right. But, dedicated as she was to the way of the light, Alriah knew that sometimes destruction was a necessary evil. As she faced that reality, the shadow rose within her once again.

_**You do not waste time, do you?**_

"What do you mean?"

_**It took me much longer to accept that reality.**_

"Perhaps it is because I have seen it in action. I studied Revan's battles. She never destroyed anything that wasn't already destroying itself. I wonder, sometimes, if it is possible that the Jedi who claim to be so wise couldn't see that."

_**You do not believe that those actions were driven by evil?**_

"Evil? I don't know. I think the necessity was evil, and was driven by evil. But Revan... Revan I do not yet understand. She... she is not what the Jedi name her, of that I am certain. But beyond that I do not know. She could have been a savior of the Republic, or its reaper of death. Beyond that, though..."

_**Answer me this, then, Alriah Dakari. Do you believe that a person cannot be both evil and good? Both light and dark?**_

"No."

_**Why not?**_

This, she sensed, was what the shadow was looking for, what she had really wanted Alriah to face. What she was about to say, she knew, went against something most Jedi believed very deeply, and would likely brand her a traitor should any of them hear.

"Because there is no light without darkness. The Jedi are not innocent or pure. Their code... our code... is a good one, but when taken too far... And there cannot be darkness without light. Nothing is purely evil. The idea of any life that exists without one or the other is impossible. I wonder if the reason Jedi have fallen to the dark side is because they strive to reach something that is impossible to attain and are punished for that impossibility. Such seems to be the case for Bastila and Juhani."

_**Do you think the little one can fall?**_

Her black eyes grew distant, and she looked at the rolling plains as if wishing they would provide her with another answer. With a sigh she closed her eyes, brushing her hair back from her face.

"It isn't a matter of can she or not," she answered heavily, opening her eyes and watching an iriaz soar overhead, "It is only a matter of time until she does. I can hope that the Force can guide her away from the cliff edge she is on, and I can try, but... when it comes down to it it's Bastila's choice, and I do not think she will see herself falling until it is too late."

The shadow came closer, close enough that the barriers around Alriah's mind started to throb. The sheer strength of the shadow was amazing, but what really struck her was the pain it bore, and with it the burden of knowledge.

_**You carry the same burden that I do, Alriah Dakari,**_ she said softly, touching her face, _**But like me you will not turn away from it. Good. You are ready to face your destiny. Go now. Return to her side. She will need much from you.**_

As the shadow started to fade back into the darkness, Alriah reached out and stopped her.

"Wait a moment. I have a question for you."

_**Yes?**_

"Does she know?"

The shadow looked away, then back. She seemed more haunted than usual for a moment, then straightened, shaking herself free of whatever had pained her.

_**You already know. If you didn't, you wouldn't have asked. You know as well as I do that you could warn her, but as with the other matter, she would not be able to believe you. She cannot. She has to experience it herself, as you did, have, and will. **_

With that the shadow vanished, leaving Alriah almost alone in her mind. Bastila's presence was there, but she was distant, distracted. Alriah gathered her strength and will and reached down and out, not for Bastila, but for Dantooine. 

"If I am to say goodbye," she whispered to the world, "I will do it with my whole self, to all of you, so that when the time comes you will not be alone."

She felt the world's gratitude and smiled. It was a strain to touch the entirety of a planet and its inhabitants, and the effort left her drained, but she sensed that the Force approved. Finally she rose, the song that made up Dantooine, that one tiny refrain in the great orchestra of the galaxy, echoing in her mind and body. Just before she reached the Enclave she turned and bowed. Behind her eyes she saw the kath hounds and the iriaz, the shadowy kinrath and laigreks, all the people of Dantooine, the plains, the caverns, and the ghosts. Finally she turned away and trudged back to the Ebon Hawk, giving Carth the order to take off before collapsing onto her bunk.

_**Farewell...**_ she heard the shadow's voice whisper, and she echoed the sentiment. For now, though, it was time to rest and return to the present. The future would have to wait a while.


	7. The Mother of All Terrors

Disclaimers: I do not own the rights to KotOR, Star Wars, or its characters

Disclaimers: I do not own the rights to KotOR, Star Wars, or its characters. I do not make a profit from this story, although I sure as hell could use it. Do not sue me. Trust me, you'd be wasting your time.

Okay... let's all take a deep breath and remember not to shoot the writer. I know that last chapter was dialogue heavy. In fact, I'll readily admit this whole story has been. Sorry if it's boring or not your cup of tea, but this story is all about character analysis and interaction. That requires a lot of conversation. Also, remember that KotOR, depending on how you play, can be as much if not more talking than action. So it really isn't just me. Everyone put their guns away? Good.

Now, reviews. Thank you to those who have reviewed, and to those who haven't, may I ask why? I know one reason I don't always review stories is because I feel that someone else will say what I think. Turns out that isn't often true. Just keep that in mind. That, and the fact that I _want _to hear what you have to say. Even if it's negative.

**Dakari: The Real Story**

**Chapter 6: The Mother of All Terrors**

Alriah slept most of the way to Tatooine, and could barely force her eyes to open when Bastila woke her, ostensibly to tell her they'd be at the planet within an hour. The woman sat down next to her, and she could feel that she was shaken and scared. She didn't have to look far for the reason why. Another of those dark fragments had broken off and was worming its way into her mind. With an effort of will she took Bastila's hand, drawing the younger woman closer.

'Don't be afraid,' her mind whispered, still drained from her contact with Dantooine, 'I'm here.'

She hadn't expected that to do more than cause Bastila's prickly pride to reassert itself, but to her surprise the younger woman rose and curled against her, clutching at her armor.

'_It hurts, Alriah._'

This time it did, and Alriah forced herself to concentrate on why. She found a tenuous link from the dark fragment to a greater darkness that radiated rage and malice. Bastila was fighting it, and the struggle was what was causing the pain. She worked cautiously but quickly, taking on the worst of the pain while still allowing Bastila to experience the emotion. If she had deprived the other Jedi of that, she would have been doing more damage than had already been done. 

'Let go, Bastila. Don't fight it. I'm here. I won't let it hurt you. It's just a memory... and an echo. If you don't let it, it can't harm you.'

Bastila only seemed to tense further, and the dark woman shook herself free of her lethargy to wrap her arms around the woman, bringing her closer. 

'Bastila... don't do this to yourself.'

As the dark fragment embedded itself into her consciousness, she wrapped her mind around Bastila's in a protective cocoon where she could experience everything but would be constantly aware of Alriah's gentle, anchoring presence. Within that cocoon Bastila finally relaxed and allowed herself to experience everything without fear.

'Bastila...' she started, but before she could finish, the memory took control and swept them away. They found themselves surrounded by sunlight and sand, and Bastila started in her arms, looking over her shoulder. She turned, and if she could have stepped back she would have. Revan stood a short distance away in her dark robes, looking unfazed by the hot desert sun. She carried her red lightsaber and her short purple one, and all around her lay bodies. Malak was on his knees behind her, a much smaller group of bodies around him. Revan turned to him, her cloak swirling around her.

"Are you all right, Malak?" she asked, striding to her friend's side. Malak tried to rise without taking the hand she offered, but she stood patiently until he gave up on trying alone. She pulled him up calmly, the Force gathering around her. His eyes widened as healing light erupted around him, and as she walked away he stared.

"Revan! If someone saw you using _those_ Force powers-"

"I know, Malak," Revan interrupted, "and I don't care. Anyone who has an issue with me can address it." 

The Dark Lord gestured to the corpses nearby, and Malak's eyes widened. Bastila's purple-gray eyes were fixed on the pile of bodies, and while Alriah was determined to see where Revan was going to go, the younger woman was her priority. She turned away from the scene, looking down at Bastila. The Jedi almost flinched under her gaze, and Alriah sighed. Trying to understand this woman was like trying to predict where a mynock would chew on power cables. Sometimes it was logical, easy, other times the damn pests were so deep in the system there was no tracking them. 

'_Is that really how you see me? A pest?_' she heard Bastila ask, her voice trembling.

The pain in her voice was intense, and it tore through her like a vibroblade.

'I'm sorry, Bastila,' she whispered inwardly, and the agony in her own voice startled the young Jedi. Her black eyes locked on her companion's, and Bastila gasped at the turmoil she saw there.

'_You... you really don't..._'

Alriah shook her head, the tone of her thoughts still rough with pain.

'No, Bastila. Never a pest. You're just... as difficult as one.'

'_I don't mean to be..._'

'I know.'

Bastila seemed to stare at her for a long moment, then sighed, the fear that had been so prevalent in her gaze and thoughts fading somewhat. She looked past Alriah to the corpses, and the scout followed her gaze. She sighed, closing her eyes against the sight for a moment, then faced it, knowing she had no choice.

'_It bothers you, doesn't it?_'

'What?'

'_The bodies. The trail of dead she leaves._'

The dark woman frowned, provoked by the thought that she wasn't affected by the carnage.

'Of course it does, Bastila! How could it not!'

'_You just seem to take it so calmly, to accept it. To accept her, the Dark Lord of the Sith herself. I don't... I cannot understand that._'

The scout sighed, torn between something like anger and a deep well of grief that threatened to overwhelm her, though she didn't know its source. That was probably the worst part, she realized. She didn't know herself, her mind, and it tormented her. Bastila, who was still studying her, seemed to realize that and embraced her tightly.

'_I apologize, Alriah. I fear I've misjudged you... again._'

The older woman shook her head, looking down at her companion with dark, haunted eyes.

'I do accept this, Bastila. I want you to realize that.'

When the younger Sentinel might have interrupted, she shook her head again.

'Acceptance is something very different from approval. I do not condone this in the least. I hate that everywhere Revan goes a trail of death is left behind. But think, Bastila. Everywhere we go there's death and destruction. That is the life we have chosen. Revan...'

Her thoughts trailed off, and Bastila glared at her, the fear returning to her gaze.

'_How can you just-_'

Alriah took a step away from the younger woman, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her slightly, her black eyes flashing. When she tried to pull away from Alriah's grip, the Sentinel demonstrated both her physical and mental strength and kept her where she was. Bastila's eyes were fearful, and while the look cut through her, Alriah refused to give up on the argument. She was tired of being feared, underestimated, overestimated, and generally misjudged and misunderstood by the one person who should know her more intimately than anyone. From anyone else she would tolerate, perhaps even accept it, but not from this woman. Bastila had every reason to know better, and still she treated Alriah like a mad wookie ready to rip her apart at any moment.

'I don't _just_ anything, Bastila Shan!' she growled lowly, aware that she'd surprised the younger woman with her sudden intensity, 'I think before I act, before I speak. I do not kill, destroy, or fight without taking the consequences into account. I also know, however, that I cannot change what I have seen here. I cannot change what Revan has done. What good would it do to rage about it? I might as well yell at space for having no air. That's how much of a difference it would make!'

Bastila trembled in her grasp, but Alriah didn't release her. Instead she bent down, her black eyes boring into Bastila's purple-gray, the pain in their depths unmistakable as the younger Jedi stared at her in terror. She could sense her wondering if she would be hurt, and that was too much.

'I swore I would do nothing to hurt you, and I won't. If, however, you continue to believe that I am so heartless as to condone the murder of so many, than I would prefer you leave me alone and find a way to get out of my mind, because clearly you are not paying attention to what is there.'

She turned away, not angry enough to break the protective cocoon she'd put around the younger woman's mind, but no longer wanting to touch her. Physically she turned away, leaving the Jedi to herself. She tracked the residual echoes of Revan's presence and found herself in a cave. The Star Map was before her. She wished she could get closer, see the information more clearly, but the barrier in her mind blocked her. She looked up, realizing that Revan was standing next to her. The Sith Lord's head was bent, and she radiated sadness.

"This... has to be worth it..." she whispered, and turned away, seeming haunted. Malak waited at the mouth of the strange cave, out of earshot, but Alriah remembered that he had been the one to ask if this was worth it. 

"If this doesn't work... then I have destroyed countless lives for naught." 

She looked up, seeming to look right through Alriah. 

"And I will have destroyed myself. I do not care what it takes. This must succeed, no matter the cost."

Revan turned away to rejoin her companion, visibly straightening. She seemed harder, harsher, and Alriah decided that for all the suffering and death Revan had caused, she still respected the woman. She didn't do the things she did mindlessly, as Malak seemed to now. She thought, she planned, and, perhaps most impressively, she seemed to feel all the pain she caused and accept it with a calm, unbiased understanding that Alriah understood and admired. 

'_I wish she weren't so... honorable..._' she heard Bastila comment, sounding strained. The young woman stood across from her, on the other side of the Star Map. She was beautiful in the light that radiated off it, but Alriah was determined not to give in to that attraction the way she had in the beginning. She might have turned away, but Bastila's gaze didn't waver from hers, and when the young woman approached she decided to wait, wondering what her decision would be.

'_I never would have called her that, you know,_' the young Jedi continued, '_but you understand her, far better than anyone ever has, I think. And you're more correct than they are._'

She paused then sighed, her gaze dropping.

'_You are, in some ways very much like the Revan I thought I knew, and in others you're very different. I just... I don't know what to make of you, or her. You both have such strong personalities... and you both know exactly what you're doing, all the time. It's like you don't feel fear or doubt like I... like most people do._'

Alriah heard the correction Bastila had made and almost smiled. 

'Bastila, you know better than that. I don't know much about Revan, but you've seen, as I have, that she does have fears and doubts. As for me... well, you've been inside my mind. You should know that I am definitely not immune to fear or doubt.'

'_I know,_' the young Jedi replied softly, still not quite looking at her, '_but you don't freeze up or panic. You act, you take command, and you do what's needed. I can't... I can't do that. With the kath hounds, with Juhani and Mission, with the Matales and the Sandrals..._'

Now the truth was coming out, and Alriah waited patiently, knowing there was more. She wished there was something she could say, but she sensed that this was something Bastila needed to talk out for herself.

'_You frighten me at times. I think you know that. You're so sure of yourself... or at least you seem that way, even when you're not. Even though I have this bond with you, even though I know you feel fear at least as acutely as anyone else does... I cannot help but... well... let us say that you..._' 

Alriah couldn't hold back a smile any longer, but the flustered Sentinel didn't seem to notice. She struggled for the words the older woman already knew, apparently oblivious to how intensely her emotions were broadcasting.

'_I... I must admit, Alriah Dakari... I think I envy you at times. You have many strengths that I do not... that I do not share. I cannot help but be somewhat... intimidated by those qualities. I hope, however, that you can forgive my... tactlessness. You... you were right. I have never known you to be reckless or uncaring. Quite the opposite, really._'

Alriah nodded, but she hadn't forgiven the younger Jedi. She could accept most insults to her character, but the thought that she did not care for the dead and the dying was unpardonable. Bastila seemed to sense this, and she came around the Star Map, reaching out to very gently grasp her arm. 

'_I know I have no right to ask you this, but... can you forgive my carelessness yet again?_'

The scout looked down into those stormy eyes, struck again by the pain that was so visible behind them. She didn't want to add to that pain, that fear, but now that this had happened once, she was afraid to let herself love Bastila. The woman carried so much fear and doubt, almost as much as she herself did. If she could think Alriah capable of apathy, what else might she be capable of in the young woman's mind? How many times would they have this argument, or similar ones?

'I don't know, Bastila.'

The young Jedi retreated as if struck, turning as if to leave, but Alriah stopped her, unable to bear the sight of her burdened by yet another trouble.

'Give me some time.'

Bastila searched her eyes, and the older woman couldn't resist pulling the her against her body again, feeling her body trembling and her mind's fear again. Now she understood some of the fear that came with these visions. She could sense it clearly, the young Padawan's turmoil making it painfully obvious. These were Revan's experiences, her memories, and Bastila feared being lost or overwhelmed by them. Rightfully so, it seemed, as these little fragments of memory thoroughly overwhelmed them both every time they had to experience one. That was why her behavior and emotions became so erratic at these times, and Alriah realized she just might be forgiving the younger Jedi. She shook her head, gently disentangling herself and taking hold of Bastila's arm.

'Hold on a moment. I think I can get us out of here. Close your eyes and trust me.'

She was slightly surprised when the usually argumentative prodigy didn't put up a fuss and did what she was told. She knew it was because the young woman was frightened and unsure of herself, and she was putting her trust in the only thing in this environment she knew. Still, it touched something within her, and she decided to at least try to put the argument behind her for the time being. 

'_Alriah?_' she heard Bastila ask as she gathered her energy to wake up her body. She had seen enough to begin to guess where the Star Map might be, and she sensed that she would get no more information here. The barrier was getting closer as it was, and if she were to be of any use, she couldn't let it get too close. 

'Yes?' she replied distractedly, turning only a small part of her attention back to the woman she held. To her surprise, Bastila hesitantly leaned into her, her mind supplying her own with energy. As their bodies began to reach consciousness, Alriah felt a rush of energy, much as she did when immersed in the Force. 

'Bastila?'

'_There is no reason for you to wander around exhausted, Alriah,_' she scolded gently, '_but that isn't what I..._'

Bastila cut herself off, and Alriah sensed her confusion. She might have reached out, tried to sense more, but then she sensed something else, something that forced her to turn her attention to the outside world. She forced her body to full consciousness and leapt out of bed. She had reached the door when something stopped her, and she turned back. Bastila was coming awake more slowly, drained by connection they'd shared, but otherwise okay. She felt the first blaster bolt of the enemy craft she'd sensed approaching just as the younger Jedi started to rise, and in a burst of motion grabbed her just as the deck rocked under their boots. She braced herself automatically, pulling the younger Jedi against her. 

"Hold on, Bastila!"

'_I have no intention of letting go Not of you._'

The thought took Alriah off guard, but she quickly realized that the younger woman hadn't realized she'd been overheard. She smiled, the last of her anger fading away. She hadn't forgotten the argument, but she decided she could put it aside for now. 

"I have to go. Be careful."

For just a second as she pulled away, the scout felt her companion's hand squeeze hers before falling away. With a smile on her face she sprinted to the gun turrets, tracking and destroying the attacking fighters. She stayed in the turret control until she felt the ship land, meditating in the relative quiet the turret provided her. When she sensed the ship had landed she returned to the bridge where Carth and Bastila waited.

"The Force has given us a... a vision. Like the one we shared on Dantooine. Did you see it?" 

Bastila shook herself inwardly when she realized how ridiculous the question was. Something wasn't quite right with her, and when Alriah realized what it was, she almost laughed. Bastila was embarrassed, and preferred not to think too much about their experience. This was her way of denying it. She remembered the essential parts, the cave, the Star Map, while choosing to more or less ignore the rest of it. That was not good.

"Of course... you must have," Bastila went on, sounding strained, "The Force is strong with us both." 

'_Please... I do not wish to address it with Carth or the others. I..._'

'If you can assure me that you will not ignore the issue, I will keep silent about it.'

'_Of course... you are right. Do not worry. I will not forget._'

'No,' Alriah whispered in the guarded part of her mind, 'you certainly won't. But will you learn from it?'

"Tatooine is known for little but blowing sand," the young Jedi continued, her tone softer, almost sad, "I find surprising that there would be a Star Map somewhere in its desolate wastes."

The scout sighed, but found herself somewhat relieved. Perhaps Bastila would learn the lesson she so desperately needed to.

"Maybe Tatooine wasn't always a desert," she commented, remembering the strange statues that had been near the Star Map. There had been something about them... something about the weathering on them and the way they'd fallen...

"Perhaps, though that would have been tens of thousands of years in the past," Bastila replied, tracking her thoughts, "Now there is nothing but the howling emptiness of the Dune Sea. The Star Map would likely have to be within some kind of shelter to protect it against dust and sandstorms. I suspect there are many such caves and caverns hidden in the sands of the Dune Sea. The creatures of this world probably use them as their lairs."

She sighed, just as Alriah did inwardly. There were too many uncertainties, too many doubts, too many questions. 

"No doubt things will become more clear once we discover the Star Map's location."

In agreement with the younger Sentinel, she started to turn, but as Carth passed her something pulled her back. Bastila wanted to talk privately, and now was as good a time as any. 

"How can I help?" she asked when Alriah turned back to her. The scout smiled, realizing that once again Bastila hadn't realized how much of her thoughts she gave away.

"You wish to talk to me?" she asked, smiling slightly when her companion started. She really hadn't realized how loud her thoughts were. That was all right. Alriah had no intention of telling her unless it became a danger.

"I do," she responded hesitantly, obviously shaken, "I've been watching you. Studying you closely to see what kind of progress you have made since your training at the hands of Master Zhar."

Alriah was tempted to be annoyed, but she controlled the emotion, letting it take its course without taking over. Instead of the angry response she'd braced for, the younger woman found herself on the receiving end of a charming grin and knowing black eyes.

"I think we both know the real reason you've been watching me."

"You never give up, do you?" Bastila muttered, torn between amusement and annoyance, "I admit I'm interested in you. I find you intriguing. Compelling, even." 

Before the scout could say anything, the Jedi held up a hand.

"But it's not what you think. You have a great gift. You have an awesome command of the Force, and I tremble when I think of how you might misuse it."

'I'm not that easy to throw off.'

"I make you tremble? Do you get all tingly inside, too?" she asked, laughter in her voice that completely went over Bastila's head. Her purple-gray eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"What? I... no!" she stammered, staring at Alriah as if she'd just transformed into a Hutt, "No, of course not!"

When the scout fixed her with a knowing look, she glared, managing to mutter. "Not like that, anyway." 

She was none too convincing, but then she grew serious, remembering what her original point had been. She straightened, her eyes lighting with some inner fire.

"In many ways you are... you are dangerous. You could be the savior of the galaxy; or you could bring untold destruction upon us all!" she continued, her voice rising until she was almost yelling. When she saw the look on the other Jedi's face, she calmed somewhat, her eyes softening as if she were really looking at the older woman for what almost seemed to be the first time. 

"I've seen how you have resisted many temptations and continue to walk the path of the light side," she went on, her tone softer. She shook her head, visibly struggling to look and sound more academic. 

"Very commendable, but I'm afraid you might stray from this path. You need to see what the dark side represents in its entirety, for it is what we battle. Only the wisdom of a Jedi Master can truly explain this, but I will do my best to make you understand."

"What are you trying to tell me?" Alriah asked, seeing that there really was something bothering Bastila, something she needed to allow the woman to get out. Bastila seemed to appreciate the change in her attitude and gathered herself, looking out the windows to the Tatooine spaceport, her gaze distant and rather sad.

"The dark side is not simply giving in to anger or temptation to use the Force to destructive ends. These things only lead to the dark side. The dark side grows stronger and more insidious the closer you draw to it. It begs you to surrender to it, to release all its terrible power... and it becomes harder and harder to resist. And once you stop resisting, it is too late. It twists you up inside and... and turns you into a mockery of everything you once stood for."

She frowned, looking back at the dark woman with eyes that were haunted and a mind that was being torn apart by grief, regret, and rage. Alriah stumbled at the unexpected deluge of emotion, and Bastila reached out, taking her arm and bracing her. She might have apologized, but Alriah just shook her head, straightening and carefully shielding her mind from the brunt of the emotional wave without losing touch with it.

"You seem to know that temptation very well."

Bastila looked haunted again, and the Deralian frowned, seeing past the exterior to the turmoil in her mind. 

"I am no less resistant to temptation than any other," the Padawan replied sadly, lost in some memory she hid from their bond, adding in a pained tone, "I simply have the benefit of training you do not. But even the training of the Jedi might not be enough to save us. We need only look at the atrocities which have been committed by those under its sway to understand the terrible, corrupting evil of the dark side. Millions dead, and far more suffering. What sort of person would you have to be to perform such deeds gladly?"

"I couldn't see myself ever doing such things," Alriah replied slowly, but at the same time she wondered. She could see herself doing such things, if not gladly, then willingly. If it was necessary... she might just do it.

"And that is why the dark side is so insidious," the agitated Jedi hissed, her eyes flashing, apparently only partially aware of her thoughts, "If you are not careful, you do not even see each small step you take towards it until it is too late."

She both agreed and disagreed. She knew when she did things that were not exclusively "good." She guarded herself as best she could, but she knew she wasn't perfect. Far from it. She also knew that not all were as vigilant of their own behavior. Bastila was a good example of that, actually. She could see how a person could be unaware of the small things while being too focused on the larger picture, and fall. It bothered her, however, that all the Jedi seemed to think their side was pure, perfect, and innocent.

"Are you saying the light side is innocent of killing?" she asked sharply, wondering how Bastila would respond. That wasn't possible. They had all killed dozens of living beings just to get this far. What did that make them?

"One who serves the light side does not strike down an innocent. We take arms against the dark side and the injustice that follows it only," the Jedi answered after a moment of doubt and hesitation. She sounded like her old stuffy, prissy self, but Alriah wasn't buying it. 

'_What kind of person would do such deeds gladly?_' Bastila asked again through their bond, and she shook her head, slightly startled by the sudden intimacy of the question.

"I don't know," the scout whispered, finding herself as haunted by the question as Bastila sounded. Something about that question, about what Bastila was suggesting a Jedi was capable of if they fell to the dark side wormed away inside her. It pushed at her mind, at the barrier there, and her head started to pound. She shook herself, trying to pay attention to her "teacher."

"Neither do I, and I hope I never do," Bastila replied aloud, for a moment sounding ever bit as tired and vulnerable as Alriah could sense she was feeling before she straightened, shifting back behind her "teacher" mask, though with limited success, "It is so easy to think that we would never fall prey to such a horror; that we have unlimited control, vigilance and foresight. If only that were true. The Sith have become powerful because there are many Jedi who have succumbed to the lure of the dark side and joined their cause. What greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause? To use their own knowledge against them? We are weakened while they are strengthened. So we must harden our hearts and do whatever is required to fight against the dark side. Even when the battle becomes wearying."

'It sounds like the battle is always wearying,' Alriah whispered, shielding the thought from her companion. What Bastila had said was causing the wall in her mind to rise up again in force, preventing her from thinking the idea over much. With an inward sigh she filed the thought away where she could reflect on it later without too much trouble from the barrier. For now she focused on the rest of the Jedi's statement.

"Do whatever is required? Such as?" she asked, wondering if Bastila had heard Revan wondering something similar about what she had been doing. The discomfort the Padawan radiated told her she'd been aware of at least some of Revan's thoughts.

"I don't know. The vision of our future is clouded by shadows cast from the dark side. But I sense something ominous lurking in those shadows," she answered softly, both women intensely aware of the shadows she was referring to. Their every step was dogged by them, and what Alriah sensed in them... well, ominous was an understatement. The younger woman shook herself, adding briskly "But words alone cannot save one from the dark side. Come, we should continue with the task at hand. When the time comes I only hope we are all strong enough to do what we must."

The subject was clearly closed for discussion, so with an inward shrug she strode to the loading ramp, bringing Bastila and Carth with her. At the base of the ramp an officer of Czerka company from his uniform waited, asking for a fee of some sort. She considered just paying it, but she knew she would need all the money they had soon, though not quite way. She could have used the Force to persuade him, but instead she used words only. It was her feeling that violating the man's mind would be wrong, especially over something so trivial. He agreed easily enough, giving her information about Czerka's operations on the planet and who to talk to about work, as well as giving her what little information he had on the inhabitants, the Sand People and the Jawa. She left him to his work and went toward the large doors to the rest of Anchorage, only to be stopped by another dock worker. When he told her a crate of Gizka had not only been loaded onto her ship but broken open she sighed. Sometimes the Force had a twisted sense of humor. 

'Juhani,' she thought, projecting her thoughts to the other Jedi with an effort. It was much harder to speak to someone this way than it was to communicate with Bastila, but she wanted to be sure Canderous didn't kill the creatures. They were harmless, and they wouldn't chew power cables. 

'Yes?' the Cathar asked uncertainly, clearly startled to be spoken to like this.

'Could you please ensure that no one harms the Gizka? They're harmless, playful creatures. I don't think they deserve to die because of a dock error.'

The younger woman agreed readily enough, and Alriah laughed aloud at the image she saw of Canderous trying to catch the Gizka or shoot them. Carth looked at her strangely, but Bastila saw what she did and had to suppress a chuckle of her own. 

'Thank you.'

She closed off the connection to the Cathar, mentally reorienting herself and moving forward, noticing an alien shopkeeper of the same race as one she'd seen on Taris, the one that seemed to be made of two different creatures. As she recalled, the one she'd spoken to had said that she could only hear one voice, but the other certainly had plenty to say. She'd sensed an unusual intelligence from the person, or people, and she had realized that having two minds could be beneficial. When she approached the alien seemed surprised by her easy acceptance of his unusual appearance, and it happily chattered while she browsed its wares, determined to buy as much from it as she could use, rather than spending money at Czerka stores. She didn't like the Czerka company, but she did like this alien. While looking through its goods she noticed a vial of Gizka poison, which it seemed surprised to see. It also had Bantha fodder, which was curious, and on a whim she bought some. She could sense it might come in handy later, and it was very inexpensive. As she strode away after paying the alien she could sense it watching her with a great deal of curiosity and smiled to herself. Outside the docking area in the main area of the port a Duros was walking around muttering to himself. When he saw the three humans he approached, looking annoyed. 

"That... human woman! I am... outraged at her arrogance. You! Do all of your species place yourselves on such annoying pedestals!"

Alriah tilted her head, trying to make some sense of what he was saying. Finally she asked in a polite a tone as she could, "I'm sorry? What are you talking about?"

He muttered to himself, giving her a dark look.

"You should be sorry for sharing a species with that... that creature. I swear, 'Helena' must be your word for pit rancor."

That definitely got her attention, and explained quite a bit. She turned to her companion, trying not to smile too broadly.

"Helena? Bastila, isn't that your mother's name?"

Bastila growled softly, her purple-gray eyes darkening noticeably. She didn't understand the Duros language, but that didn't seem to be bothering her much. If nothing else she seemed to have grown very comfortable with the wide array of languages Alriah spoke.

"My mother was supposed to be here somewhere. Ask if they have seen her."

When she relayed the question the Duros spat on the ground, his eyes widening in his large blue head.

"Seen her? Human, you couldn't miss her if you tried. She strolled into the cantina like she owned the place."

"Is she still there?" she asked, keeping her tone neutral while inwardly having to fight not to laugh at both this man's expression and Bastila's.

"Probably. I don't think anyone else could top her attitude, so she won't be leaving. I won't be going back while she's there, though."

"We should try to find her. I doubt she wants to be kept waiting," the Jedi remarked, sounding more than a little annoyed by all of this. The Duros looked between them, not understanding what she'd said but clearly understanding their intention.

"You're actually looking for her? You humans, you're all out of your minds."

He brushed past, leaving the two Jedi and Carth alone on the dusty pathway. She'd been aware that Bastila's mother would likely have an attitude, but hearing it from the Duros made her worry about having not only Bastila's temper to deal with, but also Carth's.

"Carth, I just realized that it would be a good idea if someone with some technical skills were checking up on the _Hawk_, just in case there's a problem. Why don't you go back and ask Juhani to join us."

He glared, prepared to argue about it, but she very deliberately ignored him, not giving him the chance to. While he stomped off she turned to Bastila, using their relative solitude to ask her something she'd been wondering. 

"How can I help?" Bastila asked distractedly, using the familiar to shield herself from thoughts of her mother. Alriah decided to ignore that for now, staying on the subject she had wanted to talk about in the first place.

"Why did the Council send me with you on this mission?"

"Why?" the other Jedi repeated, sounding surprised by the question, "I could not accomplish this on my own, I need the aid of others - especially one who is strong in the Force. The bond between us made you a natural choice. Besides, the events on Taris proved that the Force wanted to bring us together for this mission, and there is little left to chance when the Force is involved. Is that not enough for you?"

It wasn't, and that was the reason she'd brought it up in the first place. Along with that, Bastila made this sound like it was her mission when in fact the Council had made it Alriah's. Bastila was here to aid her, not the other way around, or so they had implied. Semantics aside, however, the other woman had just left herself open to another round of teasing, and Alriah was not about to pass up the opportunity.

"If the Force wants us to be together, why do you keep resisting my undeniable charms?" she asked, trying not to laugh or reveal her amusement. She managed to say it with a straight face, though barely, and somehow managed to hold it even as her companion stammered and sputtered, searching for a response that wouldn't get her in any deeper, which of course wasn't going to happen. 

"I said we were brought together for our mission: to stop Malak. I hardly think the Force would be pushing us towards a romantic involvement when the fate of the galaxy is at stake!" she shot back, almost managing to sound like she believed it, then added a touch weakly, "Please try to stay focused. I doubt the Council would approve if they knew we were busy discussing our mutual attraction when we should be saving the galaxy from Malak."

The Deralian caught the slip before Bastila even knew what she'd said and pounced, knowing an opportunity like this wouldn't come very often.

"Mutual attraction? I knew you were interested in me!"

Those eyes widened and there were several seconds of shocked silence before Bastila regained her composure, managing to glare darkly at her. What she didn't seem to realize was how much her thoughts gave away of her emotions.

'_I can't believe I admitted that! Take it back! Take it back now! Do not give in!_'

"Mutual attraction?" Bastila repeated out loud, apparently unaware that her continuing mental fit was being overheard. "I never said... it's just an expression! Whatever our feelings... uh, I mean... whatever your feelings, you have to try to ignore them. Don't let this complicate things. Finding the missing pieces of the Star Maps is our only hope of locating the Star Forge and defeating Malak. The Council explained this all quite clearly."

Once again Alriah took a moment to simply enjoy the other woman's blustering and confusion before going back to the matter at hand. She didn't forget or dismiss Bastila's slip of the tongue and mind, however, storing them away for future use.

"It just seems odd they would send me off without a Master to guide me." 

The simplicity of her response, and the fact that it was serious, threw the other woman for a loop again.

'_One moment she's flirting with me and the next she wants to discuss the Council and our mission! This damn woman is going to drive me completely mad!_'

"I admit, there were times that I wondered if this is more than just a mission to stop Malak," Bastila replied slowly, using the time to get her bearings and think of an appropriate response, "There were times when I wondered if this was also a way for the Council to test my own abilities."

The young Padawan didn't notice the way those black eyes narrowed or the way Alriah's mental barriers rose to shield her thoughts, still too flustered to pay attention to such nuances.

"I get the feeling that there's more going on than I know," the Deralian remarked softly, her voice low and cool. That Bastila did notice and hurried to explain herself. Her rush was, as usual, something of her undoing, however.

"I wondered if the Council wanted to see how I would help and guide you on our quest. I wondered if they were testing me to see if I was ready to become a Jedi Master myself. And then I realized how foolish such thoughts were. As the Council explained, sending a Master in our group would only have drawn unwanted attention from the Sith. The fate of the galaxy is at stake, the Council would not risk it merely to test me. They calculated the risks and in the end chose the only option available."

"I guess that makes sense," Alriah said doubtfully. To her it made very little sense. It was clear the Council, and Bastila, feared and mistrusted her. It was strange that they would send her off on a mission like this with only two unstable Padawans, a temperamental and haunted war hero, a Wookie, and a street kid as help and guidance. That didn't seem wise or safe to her.

"You must learn to trust in the wisdom of the Council. Your destiny will come in its appointed time. You mustn't be so impatient," Bastila chided, earning a long look from the dark woman. Alriah shrugged, setting the issue aside in favor of something more interesting, and possibly more productive. She didn't trust the Council, and she probably never would, so there was no point in worrying about that. Some things, however, were not so futile.

"Me? You're the one who thought this was her big audition for 'Masterhood'!" she retorted, hiding her amusement at the other woman's frustrated response. She didn't do this just for the fun of it. It was obvious Bastila was attracted to her, and denying her own emotions was dangerous, especially when they were that strong. Still, she had to admit it was fun, as long as it didn't threaten the young Jedi's control.

"Must you be so frustrating?" Bastila asked rhetorically, again unaware of the older Jedi's internal dialogue, "I admit, I had a moment of foolish pride. But I'm over it. Now I am focused on my true responsibilities. I am simply trying to help you and complete this mission and yet you battle me at every turn."

Alriah had to smile at that. She wasn't the one doing the battling. She was quite certain of that. It worried her that Bastila didn't seem to see that, but it was also rather... cute. 

"What can I say? It's fun."

For a moment Bastila's thoughts were torn between a desire to smack the grin from her face or just kissing her senseless, but neither could quite get the upper hand. Alriah almost laughed as Bastila took a step forward, her body trembling with poorly contained desire and frustration.

"Fun! Fun! Driving me insane is your idea of a good time!" she demanded, standing toe-to-toe with the taller woman. Alriah chuckled, deciding it was time she pointed out a simple fact.

"Hey, you brought this on yourself."

"I started it," Bastila replied, clearly nonplussed, then started simply ranting, that being the only thing she could think to do. 

"You were the one who brought up the issue of the Council! You were the one who questioned our mission! You were the one who mocked me for thinking I was being tested! You..."

She trailed off, shaking her head, all the fire draining out of her rant.

"You are a very odd woman, do you know that?" she commented in a bemused tone, "I simply don't know how to deal with you. All I want to do is help you, but you seem determined to drive me mad."

"Complain all you want, but you know you love it."

Bastila eyed her for a long moment, seriously considering just walking away and ignoring her, but then she finally shook her head, actually smiling a little as she realized, though privately, that Alriah was right. She carefully shielded that understanding, both a little afraid of it and rather unwilling to provoke the other woman into teasing her again. She noticed Juhani approaching from the corner of her eye and sighed, part of her regretting that the conversation was about to end.

"I don't know if I should be outraged that you keep joking about serious matters, or if I should be grateful that you can always lighten the mood. Come on, come, let's move on... there's much to be done."

Alriah agreed, knowing she had gotten what she'd been aiming for. Bastila may have been rather skilled at shielding some of her thoughts, but she was far from a master at guarding her emotions. For just a moment she'd accepted what she felt, and that was all Alriah wanted from her. Pressing the issue now would undo all the progress Bastila had made. Once Juhani had joined them she strode to the Czerka office, speaking with the company representative there about hunting licenses and the Sand People. She agreed to bring the Chieftains gaffi, but she knew that if she had any control of the situation at all she would not be killing him to get it. She also asked about Griff, discovering that he was being held captive by the Sand People. It took some persuasion to get all the information she needed, but once she did she was glad she had. She had answers for Mission and a way to search for the Star Map, and those were important things. Now she just had to deal with finding out what Bastila's mother wanted.

'_Believe me when I say I am in no great hurry,_' Bastila commented darkly through their bond. They left the Czerka offices, only to be stopped by another Duros. She remembered him. He had been arguing with the Czerka rep when she'd arrived and had stormed out. Now he explained his efforts at conservation and his argument with Czerka. She agreed to try to communicate with the Sand People as he asked, getting a recommendation on where to find a droid that might be able to manage the job. When he left he was still upset and muttering, but he seemed somewhat comforted now. They passed the hunting lodge the Czerka rep had mentioned as they went on, but as they did Alriah suddenly looked up, sensing distress nearby. She noticed a woman with the look of a settler standing outside a residence and approached, feeling the woman's pain. The woman, Sharina Fizark, explained that her husband had died, leaving her only a large Wraid plate that she couldn't go to the hunting lodge to sell. She said it was worth around 500 credits at least, and Alriah looked at the thing, agreeing. It was huge. She didn't know where or when she'd learned to judge the value of such things, but this piece of bone was definitely valuable and unusual. She offered the woman 700 credits, waiting patiently as she stared at her in shocked silence for a few moments, noticing the lightsaber she carried for the first time. Slowly Sharina handed over the plate, thanking her profusely on behalf of her and her children. Behind her she sensed her companion's approval and pleasure in her actions.

"This is how we Jedi should always act: with honor," Juhani commented, and Alriah could sense that she meant it. It pleased her to feel that in that moment Juhani felt just a little more at ease with herself than she had.

"Thank you for helping this woman. It may not seem like such a great thing to you, but you are making a difference," Bastila added softly. When Alriah glanced back at her she was watching her with warm, sad purple-gray eyes. The expression was gone in the next moment, but through their bond Alriah could feel a tender warmth that Bastila rarely allowed herself to show.

"For whatever it means, may the Force be with you. You've saved us," Sharina said when she turned back to her, hurrying back into her house radiating gratitude and immense relief. The dark woman smiled to herself, glad to see someone on this planet with a real smile. She went into the hunting lodge and met the various hunters, noting that the Gamorreans seemed dangerous and aggressive and making a mental note to beware of tricks and traps. There was a quiet man who spoke with dignity and respect, and while he seemed just a little naive she wished him well. Another man was an open flirt, and the way he hunted, using battle droids, didn't strike her as particularly honorable or sporting, but she didn't say much about it. It wasn't her place. There was also an unusual looking Twi'lek who had a sense of timelessness and gravity about him. He, she sensed, was probably one of the most experienced hunters here, and he gave her a brief explanation of what prey he hunted, including the Krayt dragon. Lastly she spoke with Fazza, the keeper of the lodge, and sold the Wraid plate for the expected 500 credits. 

'Does it really make a difference?' she asked softly, startling Bastila. The other Jedi was silent for a few moments, then a sense of warmth and understanding came through their bond.

'_It does, Alriah. I assure you, it's actions like this that make all the difference._'

Alriah nodded, reassured. She knew on some level she had already known that, but it helped to hear it from someone else. She left the lodge and started toward the Cantina, noting as they walked that they seemed to be heading into a cloud of a darkness. Her hand slid to her lightsaber, and she noticed the other two Jedi doing the same, looking around carefully. As they turned a corner they were met by three dark Jedi. Their leader said something about their master and his displeasure upon finding out that she was alive. She could easily guess that their master was Malak, but why would it matter to him if she were alive? The thought made her head reel as the barrier rose up again, and in that moment of weakness the dark Jedi attacked without warning. She managed to block a deadly downward stroke and take a step back, but the barrier didn't let up. She struggled with herself, lashing out hard to force her opponent back. Her saber met his and she pushed hard, using sheer force rather than skill to cause his blade to drop slightly. The opening was enough and she plunged her yellow blade past his armor into his chest, killing him almost instantly. Sensing movement nearby she growled softly, her offhand blade, which she hadn't revealed until now, slashing back and up, wounding another dark Jedi but not killing him.

'_Alriah!_' 

She turned in time to see Bastila's lightsaber sprout from the chest of her attacker, leaving him to collapse at her feet. Juhani finished off the last attacker a moment later, leaving her to try to regain her equilibrium through the intense pain burning a path through her skull. 

'_That damn fool!_' she heard Bastila think, disgust coloring her thoughts, '_His "precaution" is going to get her killed!_'

She tried to respond, but the pain continued to intensify and she didn't know why. She wasn't thinking about much of anything except the pain, and normally it would have retreated by now,

'Bastila...'

That was the only word the could think of, the only word that she could get out. She felt rage building up inside the other woman, then blessed relief as the pain stopped increasing. She could bear it now, though it was still at torturous levels. 

'_He must have known this would happen! That coward!_' the other woman spat mentally, apparently unaware that Alriah could hear her thoughts. Now that she could at least function again she took the lightsabers the dark Jedi had been carrying, as well as their spare medpacs and gear. They certainly wouldn't need them anymore. As she rose, she considered asking Bastila what had just happened when she noticed what looked like a swoop track. She vividly remembered the race on Taris, and the amazing focus she'd had, and remembered also that Davik had left a bike in the garage of the Hawk. She strode into the building, taking note of the various racers before speaking to Motta the Hutt, who was obviously in charge. She talked him into letting her race for free, not an easy thing to do with a Hutt, and got into the bike with no sense of fear or trepidation. This was a sport humans didn't typically excel at, but she wasn't just any human. She was Deralian, for one, and her people were a hardy sort. She was also a Jedi.

'This I can do...'

As soon as the indicator was green she was off, almost scraping several of the rock obstacles in her path as she got to the first boost platform. She drove intensely, focusing so completely on making the absolute smallest adjustments possible and avoiding obstacles while going so fast she couldn't see that all the pain faded away, just as she'd hoped. Her time shocked the Hutt, and he was impressed enough to tell her about his doubts about the success of his track and the circuit in general, asking for her help.

"I've got one," he said, answering her question about potential racers to give his track a name, "Nico Senvi. Great potential. Only started racing a year ago and loves it. He lives for it now."

"And?" Bastila asked from next to her, outwardly ignoring the way the Hutt's huge eyes looked her up and down, "It sounds like you have something special. What do you want help with?"

When Motta didn't answer immediately Bastila shifted uncomfortably, the only obvious indication of how little she enjoyed being looked at like a slave dancing girl. Alriah didn't like it either, and it was the aura of danger she found herself projecting that got Motta's attention. A look passed between them, and he pointedly shifted all his attention to her, not daring to look at her the same way. He went on to explain Nico's reluctance to sign with him, and she pointed out calmly that he needed to give the racer a better deal. When she turned to talk to Nico himself after Motta agreed he was dismissive, so she decided on a way to get his attention. She raced again, beating the second rank time, then again to beat his time. Every time she rode the bike she fell into a state of calm, but the last race was the one that really mattered. As she dodged past an obstacle that no normal human would have even seen a sense of peace filled her. 

_**You are growing, Alriah Dakari,**_ she heard the shadow whisper, sensing that somehow a barrier had been brought down by the focus of the race, allowing her to be heard again for the first time in a long while, _**Not just anyone would have thought of swoop racing to deal with that Master's folly.**_

'Which master?' she asked curiously, but the shadow shook her head.

_**You know the answer to that. Only one master would be so blind and foolish as to put such a dangerous 'safeguard' in your mind.**_

'Vrook.'

She didn't say more. She didn't need to. They both knew she was right. 

_**The little one has done what she could, but it will only get worse as you get closer to the truth he hoped you would never uncover. At times it will be debilitating, but...**_

Alriah chuckled to herself, understanding.

'There's always swoop racing.'

She hesitated before asking the question she really wanted to, them simply sighed.

'Who was it supposed to protect? Clearly not me.'

_**No,**_ the shadow agreed, _**He thought he was protecting the Force and the greater good. But for all his years and experience, Vrook is a blind fool who listens to no one but himself. Be on guard against him. He has not fallen, but his choices will aid the dark side, as will those of another Dantooine Master. Their blindness could lead to the Death of the Force. You must be the one who sees. **_

Alriah considered that as she crossed the finish line, remembering her sense that the Council had been missing at least one of its members. The pain came back, but it lacked the harsh edge it had before, and she turned her thoughts to Bastila, smiling affectionately at the girl from Talravin.

'Thank you.'

The Sentinel blushed, turning away both mentally and physically. She let it go, instead talking to Motta to get her reward before addressing Nico, telling him about Motta's revised contract for him. He thanked her profusely and went to talk to the Hutt, leaving her to go sell off the racing bonds Motta had given her, then focus on finding Helena. She walked into the cantina and immediately found a human woman by herself in a corner. She noticed that both the employees and patrons were conspicuously giving her a wide berth and smiled to herself. She knew exactly who that had to be. At her approach the woman deigned to look at her and her companions, giving her the impression she considered the three Jedi beneath her. Now she knew where Bastila got that damned aristocratic attitude.

"Yes, I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked, sounding as if she expected them to be there to serve her. Bastila stepped forward slightly, though the scout noticed that she didn't move past her, instead standing next to her and just a step behind, as if hoping the dark woman would protect her from her mother.

"I am here Mother. Or don't you recognize me?" she asked softly, her voice laced with sarcasm. The woman looked closer, frowning deeply. When she spoke she sounded aggrieved and impatient.

"What do you expect, when I haven't so much as a picture of you since you left? Do you know how long I've been trying to find you?"

Bastila's expression darkened, and Alriah could sense her struggling to control her temper. It was clear that Helena knew how to press her daughter's buttons and was fully willing to do so, and the dark woman was already wondering if she should have avoided this confrontation for Bastila's sake. The woman had enough issues with control as it was.

"You knew as well as I communication would be impossible once I joined the Order. Now what is this about? Where is Father?" Bastila asked, her tone making it very clear she wanted nothing to do with her mother, and what she was really there for.

"Then you haven't heard. I should have known."

Bastila shifted, her body tensing until she was coiled as tightly as a Talravin blood snake, a constrictor capable of completely crushing a man in a matter of seconds. 

"Has something happened to him? Are you going to tell me or not?" she retorted sharply, but through their bond Alriah could sense that for all her apparent strength and confidence she was terrified.

"Your Father is dead, Bastila. That is part of the reason why I was looking for you."

The blunt reply made Bastila's thought process grind to a halt, and she paled dramatically, looking like she was going to be sick.

"Dead? What happened? What did you do to him!" she demanded, shaking visibly now. Alriah shifted slightly so her arm was brushing the younger woman's, a comforting gesture that just managed to get past Bastila's terror and rage. The younger woman leaned into the contact, but she was still looking at her mother with eyes like blasters.

"Isn't this a lovely reunion? Already she is flinging insults at me," Helena responded sarcastically, turning to look at the tall Jedi, apparently noticing as her daughter did not the way Bastila gravitated toward her, "Tell me... you're one of her friends. Do you treat your mother this way?"

Alriah felt a twinge of annoyance but shrugged it off. She wasn't going to argue with this woman. She had her hands full with Bastila.

"My mother is long dead, if you must know," she replied softly, remembering that nightmarish day easily enough. Her parents had died in a Sith attack and she had been forced to live in an orphanage of sorts until the Jedi found her. 

"Is that so?" she asked rhetorically, seeming rather put out that she hadn't gotten more out of the young woman, "Well, I'll be joining her soon enough, I suppose."

"I was told you were sick," Bastila remarked, managing to sound much calmer than she actually felt, "Are you actually dying, or is this merely melodrama for my benefit?"

Alriah couldn't help but wonder the same thing. It was clear this woman was well aware of the effect she had on her daughter, as well as Bastila's temper. She could just be taking advantage of those things. Unobtrusively Alriah reached out with her will, brushing against the Force echoes that surrounded the woman. She wasn't about to be so irresponsible as to scan the woman's mind, but the faint ripples around Helena told her enough. She sighed inwardly, wishing she could explain what she had felt to Bastila, but knowing her companion wouldn't listen.

"Such sweet things you say," Helena retorted with a sigh, "Perhaps I should tell you everything, first, before we start arguing again."

"You could start by telling me what you got Father into that killed him."

The stark statement hung in the air between them, and Alriah's felt her own fear start to rise up within her. Bastila was too angry, too scared. It was almost painful to touch her, but she did, lightly brushing a strong hand against her back, feeling the muscles quivering beneath armor and flesh. At the same time she used their bond as a gentle reminder, hoping that would be enough to calm Bastila a little. It did distract her just enough that she didn't physically assault her mother, and for now that was enough.

"I hadn't realized Jedi were so spiteful," Helena retorted, oblivious to the exchange between the two Jedi on just that subject, "You want me to tell you I brought your father here for an expedition, do you? You want to blame me for his death? You never accepted that your father loved going on his treasure hunts, leaving you alone with me. I was always to blame for everything, what else is new? So yes, fine. I brought your father here to look for Krayt dragon pearls. He took an expedition into the Tatooine desert and he died."

The intensity of Bastila's grief and rage almost overwhelmed her control, and she shook her head almost violently, breathing slowly and deeply to counter the nausea Bastila was unwittingly causing the other Jedi. At her other side she felt Juhani gasp and stumble and reached out with her free hand, anchoring the Cathar with both the physical contact and with the Force. 

"How can you be sure of that? Father was an experienced-" Bastila was saying when she was able to listen again, only to be interrupted by her mother.

"Do you think I would look for you if I wasn't sure?" she asked coolly, almost seeming to revel in her daughter's reaction, "They were attacked by a Krayt dragon and one of the guides fled the battle. He saw your father killed."

Before Bastila could break down, losing any semblance of control, Alriah abruptly threw herself and Bastila into that space within the Force, unconcerned with the cost to herself. The suddenness was enough to catch the young Padawan off guard, leaving Bastila's internal self gasping.

'Bastila, breathe,' she commanded softly, wrapping her arms around the woman without giving her a chance to object. The darker woman cradled the sobbing Jedi, though outwardly neither moved, and Bastila seemed to have regained her self control.

"I... see," the prodigy replied slowly, though inwardly she was still crying against Alriah's chest, her control shattered and her emotions raw, "So what is it you want from me? Credits?"

While the question wasn't nearly as sarcastic as Bastila had wanted it to be, it was better than what she otherwise could have managed, and she knew it, for all that she was loath to admit it. She tried to back away from Alriah only once, and weakly, before succumbing to the comfort the older Padawan was offering and just leaning into her inner self. 

"Don't be insulting. I want you to use those senses of yours," Helena retorted, and Alriah noted she seemed almost dismayed by how Bastila had recovered from the news, "I want you to find him. I want you to bring back his holocron."

"Why? So you can sell it?" the braided woman asked, her weary tone colder now, more angry. Alriah didn't quite understand, but she could tell that this holocron meant a great deal to both women, though for very different reasons.

"Is it too much to ask that I have something to remember your father by? Of course it is, isn't it. You couldn't be bothered."

Helena definitely sounded put upon, but Alriah could sense that she knew she was getting to her daughter again, pushing buttons and getting under her skin. With the Force surrounding her as it was, she didn't even have to try to feel the way the woman was gloating internally. She hoped Bastila wouldn't notice and kept her distracted as best she could, privately reflecting on how dangerous it would be if the extremely powerful Jedi lost control in the middle of a crowded room. Thankfully the girl was oblivious, torn as she was between her grief, her anger, and the calm Alriah surrounded her with.

"We're very busy on a mission from the Jedi Council," the Sentinel replied, her voice cold and haughty again, "I doubt I'll have the time. Ask my companions if you doubt me."

She knew that was her cue to step in, so she did, once again shifting to physically put something between mother and daughter.

"Why don't you get the holocron yourself Miss... er... Helena?" she asked softly, unsure if Shan was the correct surname to use and deciding that a little extra respect could go a long way. She knew her attitude took the Talravin woman off guard, which is what she had intended.

"As my daughter is quick to point out, I haven't the coin to hire another expedition. Nor am I the adventurer my husband was," she replied honestly, momentarily stunned by the controlled calm of the dark-haired woman standing so protectively over her daughter. She hadn't expected that. Privately the scout turned her attention back to Bastila, asking gently, 'Don't you want to find your father's remains, Bastila?'

'_What remains would there be?_' the younger Jedi replied inwardly, not willing to say this in front of her mother and needing the comfort of the quiet, peaceful space they hung in now,'_Krayt dragons are huge predators, easily able to devour a human, and the desert is a harsh environment. Finding my father's remains would be an even more impossible task than finding his holocron. An ignoble end to a fine man._'

'What about your mother's sickness?' the Deralian asked persistently. She knew Bastila wasn't listening to her own mind very carefully, but Alriah was, and she would make sure the Sentinel did what she so badly needed for her own closure. The mission didn't mean nearly as much to her as this moment, this woman, which said much. She would do a great deal to protect the galaxy. She would do more for Bastila.

"It doesn't seem to have anything to do with what she's asking," Bastila muttered aloud, looking from her taller friend to her mother and asked, "Are you actually sick, Mother?"

"What difference does it make to you? None, I'm sure," the woman retorted sharply, giving no indication of either an affirmative or negative response to the actual question, "Just find your father's holocron and you won't have to worry about me again either way."

The younger Sentinel shook her head, outwardly dismissive of the issue, but Alriah knew better. She kept her peace for the moment, however, knowing that as long as they were in front of her mother Bastila wouldn't tell her much of anything.

"That's the kind of response I would expect. Very well. We'll look for the holocron if we have time. I can't promise any more than that," Bastila replied in an excellent imitation of her mother's tone. Helena smiled sweetly, seemingly oblivious to how noncommittal her daughter had been.

"I believe your father was headed north towards the Sand People enclave. I would check along that route, dear. Do please hurry." 

The two Jedi watching the interaction glanced at each other, and Alriah could tell that the young Cathar knew as well as she did what the sudden sweetness really meant. Bastila, however, didn't even seem to register it, too distracted by her raging emotions. As she turned to walk out she gave the older Jedi a quick look, then just as quickly turned away. Mentally she retreated as well, breaking away from her companion's embrace and hiding herself behind thick barriers. Again the two Jedi glanced at each other, black eyes pained and golden eyes concerned and full of turmoil. Juhani could sense some of what was going on with Bastila, as well as how much more of the storm Alriah had to bear than she did.

'Alriah,' she whispered softly, connecting with the older Padawan's mind with an effort, 'This isn't right. No Jedi should lose control so easily. I do not sense that the worst has passed, either.'

'Nor do I, my friend,' she responded gently, feeling the cat-woman's pleasure at the address, as well as the chaos that was gathering like storm clouds within the Cathar's mid, 'but she won't let us help her. Not yet. And as you learned... sometimes you have to be faced with your own darkness before you will see it, before you can defeat it. Perhaps this is a trial for Bastila, a way for the Force to show her how she runs from the truth within herself. I cannot and do not know. All I know is that as Jedi it is our duty to watch her. She may be our senior in training and power, but...'

Juhani nodded, understanding the deeper meanings behind what her new mentor was saying. If anything, she understood better than Alriah herself did. 

'I understand her anger, her rage, even her bitterness,' she commented thoughtfully, 'but what I cannot understand is her willful ignorance. Do you believe the Masters have seen that in her as well?'

Alriah turned to look at the young Cathar, her black eyes suddenly icy. Juhani almost regretted her question, but then realized that none of the older woman's anger was directed at her.

'What I believe is that the Masters willfully ignore Bastila's shortcomings so they can take advantage of her unusual abilities. I believe that she has been trained to be ignorant, groomed to be proud, and instructed to ignore what might weaken her. As I have said, I cannot know these things, but that is what I believe. I also believe that before the end of this journey we are going to be the ones who pay the price for those teachings,' she answered swiftly, then softened, adding, 'But until the worst happens, I prefer to hold out hope that one of us will get through to her. I do not like what I sense of what lies ahead for us all if we do not.'

Juhani nodded, but the Deralian could sense that she was having trouble of her own, not just with Bastila. With an inward sigh she started toward the Ebon Hawk, knowing they all needed a short rest and hoping she could get more out of the two Padawans there. She was so tired, but she knew she had to go on, for all their sakes. She just hoped she was strong enough to withstand both storms at once.


	8. Under Sun, Sky, And Gaffi

Disclaimers: Everyone should be aware of this, but I don't own the rights to KotOR or its characters

Disclaimers: Everyone should be aware of this, but I don't own the rights to KotOR or its characters. No one should sue, because I make no money off this, gaining only some sense of satisfaction from the story as I believe it should be told.

That said, let it be made clear that I know my writing isn't perfect, nor do I expect it to be. I take pride in the fact that I'm trying to do as good a job as I can, though. I saw a lot of depth in KotOR that wasn't really explored, hence this story.

Now I know some of you like this sort of thing, character analysis, dialogue, thoughts, etc. and I also know that some people don't. I'm especially grateful to those of you who took the time to tell me one way or another. It's very difficult to know whether or not people are going to enjoy my work. I want people to enjoy what they take the time to read, after all. I'm a writer, but I also love to read, and I know how it feels to get both the bad and the good.

My point, in case anyone is wondering, is that I'm trying to write the best possible story I can while still holding true to my ideas and goals. And in order to do that I need to know what people think. So please, read and review. If you have reviewed, you have my thanks. I really do enjoy reading reviews.

Now... on with the show.

**Dakari: The Real Story**

**Chapter 7: Under Sun, Sky, And Gaffi**

As they stepped back outside into the harsh desert sun, Juhani gave the dark woman a quick look and stepped away, giving her and Bastila some semblance of privacy. She was grateful to the young Cathar, but that didn't stop her from being worried. With an internal sigh she approached Bastila, who, as always, pretended she didn't know what Alriah wanted.

"How can I help?" she asked distractedly, not really paying attention to the older woman. The scout shook her head, frustrated by how the woman tried so hard to be guarded and self-assured when she was really tearing herself apart mentally and emotionally.

"Do you want to talk?" Alriah asked simply, knowing she didn't need to say more.

"About my mother? I am unsure," Bastila replied slowly, her voice weary and frustrated, "I seem to find it difficult to remain objective when it comes to her. I find that... disturbing."

Disturbing was an understatement from the Deralian's point of view, but she wasn't about to say that. It would only cause trouble and perhaps make the woman close down on her again. Instead she focused on drawing her companion out with the same questions Bastila was asking herself.

"You don't think we should look for the holocron?"

"We have more important things to do," the younger Jedi replied sharply, then she saddened, her purple-gray eyes shining with suspicious wetness, along with more than a hint of bitter anger, "Still... my father is dead. Just because we find the holocron doesn't mean I have to give it to her."

There were many things Alriah could have said to that, but she kept them to herself. As she was now, Bastila wouldn't listen to warnings or cautions, nor would she tolerate being pressed on the subject, so instead she went back to her original questions.

"Why do you think she wants it so badly?"

This was something she was very curious about for herself, but she asked largely because she knew the question would bring up something Bastila was trying not to think about.

"Father recorded all his personal thoughts in that holocron even when I knew him. Having it would be like having him with you," the Jedi answered softly, and her companion's heart almost broke at the loneliness and sorrow in her voice, but then it was replaced by anger as Bastila added, "I don't see why she deserves it, however. She drove him to his death. I loved him... and I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye."

"You'd keep it for yourself?" she asked guardedly, trying not to make any judgments without all the information. It was hard, though, when the woman was acting so... childish.

"I don't know. Part of me would keep it just so she didn't get it," the young Sentinel replied with surprising honesty and a great deal of effort, "I don't like that part of me. I would have thought my Jedi training would have put me past this kind of pettiness. I wish... I really don't want to think about this. Please, let's just keep going."

Alriah considered complying, but she wasn't done with her questions, she decided to take the plea at face value and pretend she thought it'd meant that Bastila wanted to change the subject, not go on with their journey. It bothered her, though, that once again a Jedi expected something that wasn't really humanly possible. People had emotions and weaknesses, and yes, they were petty. Being a Jedi didn't change that. All it did, when a Padawan was trained correctly, was give them more ways to deal with it. Jedi were not a breed apart, for all that they liked to think they were.

"Why didn't you ask about her sickness?"

This was said very carefully and with as much neutrality as possible, but it was one of the questions that most disturbed Alriah. She knew Bastila hated her mother, but under that hate was love and a deep need for affection and approval. The woman had hidden those feelings away so deeply that she wasn't even aware of them, and there was little more dangerous to a person, especially a Jedi, than burying and resisting one's own emotions. 

"I have my doubts as to whether she's actually sick," Bastila replied, too busy with her own thoughts, dark as they were, to really care about how and what she said, and that wasn't a good sign either. Knowing what her next question would be and honestly curious, the Sentinel shrugged slightly, the gesture completely overlooked by her companion.

"Why would she lie about it?"

"Mother used to lie about many things to get her way. She is a selfish woman who pushed my father into doing what she wished."

The stark response made alarms go off in her mind, but she couldn't quite decide which part of it bothered her the most. Regardless, she was starting to become afraid, though of what she didn't know yet. But she would find out soon, she sensed.

"You sound bitter," she observed, unable to keep a hint of warning from her voice. Bastila heard it and sighed, looking more shaken than anything else now.

"Yes, I... thought I had let go of that anger. All my training, and it comes back so quickly. I don't want to talk about this any more. Let's..."

She trailed off when Alriah shook her head, not letting her finish her plea this time. She had one more point to make before she could let this go.

"She certainly seemed to upset you."

She said this very deliberately, her black eyes meeting Bastila's purple-gray with purpose and intensity. The younger Jedi shook her head, but she didn't know what she was denying. Alriah did.

"I told you that my mother and I never got along. Obviously that has not changed. And now Father is dead. That... leaves a hurt inside, you just can't imagine. I haven't seen him in so long... I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's... keep going."

This time the dark woman allowed it, signaling to Juhani, who rejoined them immediately. She was quiet as they walked, but she knew better than to deny the fact that she was angry. It wasn't so much that Bastila was denying what was happening within her own mind that upset her. It was that the Jedi had taught Bastila denial and avoidance rather than teaching her to cope. It was no wonder more Jedi were turning to the dark side. They were taking children who didn't know how to face life yet and demanding more of them than they could ever give, and in the process they never learned to face and live life. They were taught to live outside of life, and that was deadly to the spirit.

'This is not what the Force is for!' she growled inwardly, 'It is not a way to become superior to the rest of the galaxy!'

Despite her internal railing she remembered something someone had suggested and headed for the nearby droid shop. Her dark gaze was drawn instantly to a red droid of a design her mind tried, and failed, to tell her she wasn't familiar with. But she did know, just as surely as she knew that if she tried to think about it she would be knocked unconscious with pain from the barrier in her mind. Another surge of anger flared under her skin, but with a sigh she released it, knowing better than to dwell on what she had no control over. She wasn't strong enough alone to fight the barrier, because it was in _her_ mind. It weakened her, and if she tried too hard, she knew, it could kill her. Alriah wasn't so vain as to think this mission would fail without her, but she did sense that it could go very wrong if any one of them faltered. 

'And there is not enough time...'

She didn't know how she knew, but she did. Shaking herself free of her reverie and refusing to consciously think about how she knew the droid, she approached it, amused and mildly irritated by its mannerisms and quirks. Deciding that his claim to speak the Sand People's language was valid, she turned her attention to Yuka Laka, the shopkeeper, to ask the Ithorian what he knew of the unusual HK-47. When his responses were vague and incomplete enough to bother her, she asked him to clarify. The alien shrugged, as much as Ithorians could, looking at her a touch worriedly, as if he knew his chances of selling the droid were going down.

"The unit has been a little uncooperative. They get that way when they go too long without a memory wipe," he answered dismissively, but all three Jedi were aware of his increasing anxiety.

"And if the unit proves even more 'uncooperative' once we purchase it?" Bastila asked sharply, catching the alien's fear and latching on to it with all the intensity of a hunting kath hound. The Ithorian shrugged again, but his bulging eyes were fearful. He could see his chance at credits slipping away, and Alriah was almost amused. She liked Ithorians as a rule, in part because they weren't the best at being greedy. 

"You can leave it alone if you find its mannerisms amusing. It might be a little eccentric, but it's stable," he commented, not really answering the question. Alriah laughed to herself, silencing Bastila with an upraised hand so she could start negotiating for the droid. She talked the Ithorian down to 2500 credits from 4000, and while she knew she could threaten him into giving her HK for less, she wasn't about to actually do it. She was a Jedi. Beyond that, well... unless she had to, she preferred not to fight. She had the money after some careful saving, so the droid was soon traveling along with them while Juhani went back to the ship. She talked to him briefly, getting more than her fill of his views on "organic meatbags" and his feelings about being owned by one. After determining that arguing with him was useless she simply sighed and walked on, knowing he'd follow. She noticed a Jawa standing near the gate, but unlike others she'd seen, who had been working or wandering aimlessly, this one stood with purpose, and his glowing yellow eyes were fixed on her. As she approached the little being stirred, looking up at her. She would have kneeled to be even with him, but she had the sense it would offend him.

"You there, of your kind, can you help Iziz of Jawa? There are troubles from the ghosts among the sands," the Jawa, Iziz apparently, said in a voice that was barely comprehensible even to her trained mind. 

"Could you be clearer?" she asked carefully, trying to be diplomatic, especially since she wasn't especially familiar with these people and she didn't know what would be considered offensive, "I'm having trouble understanding you."

"It is doubtful he can be clearer. Their language is difficult even for droids. He is using a trade language to try and help," HK remarked from her side, and she noticed his blaster rifle seemed to be shifting almost restlessly in his mechanical arms. 

"The trouble is yours, not of Jawa," Iziz cut in, sounding slightly annoyed now, "We must use a language of trade because you listen complicated to what we say simply."

That she understood and agreed with.

"Why wouldn't I understand your true language?" she asked curiously. She knew she was naturally gifted with alien languages, and the Force enhanced that gift. It was unusual, though not unheard of, for a language to be incomprehensible to her.

"That is not a problem for Jawa to have for you. You have the ears that do not listen," Iziz replied somewhat sharply. She smiled wryly, understanding his ire. Humans and several other races had well-earned reputations for not being the best listeners, nor the most tolerant of others views or needs. 

"What is it you want, Jawa?" she asked, her tone taking any sting out of the words. He nodded, straightening to his full height, short as that was.

"Iziz I am. Leader of the tribe that is mine. You are the same in kind, a leader that stands before your tribe?" he waited for her to nod, then went on, "There are troubles that we have. The giants made of sand, they are horned ghosts that take us away."

"Giants made of sand... Sand People?" she asked reflectively, catching an image from his mind of looming shadows rising up out of the sand. No wonder he was so afraid of them if that's how they appeared to the Jawa.

"That is how you know them. Giants are different for us, we being smaller. People of Sand are who I mean."

She nodded, thinking through that. She liked that the Jawa knew the limitations and quirks of being small, and she liked that he could admit them without fear. He was small, and the Sand People were much larger. It was a simple fact to him.

"So, Iziz, what do you want me to do?" she asked simply, much more inclined to help the little alien. The more she listened and sensed of him, the more she wanted to find out how she could be of aid.

"There has been no help given by asking the great group that digs with machines. Now Iziz asks you. I ask that you find us, and then bring away from the People of Sand. Then we will offer a trade with you. Long have we scavenged, among you and those that came before. We have things you will like for this service."

Again she hesitated before speaking. The "great group" would be Czerka, and she wasn't surprised to hear they hadn't been willing to help. Czerka looked after its own interests. "Find us" must mean find his people, the other Jawa. So his people had been captured, and Iziz wanted her to find a way to bring them back in exchange for goods or information that wouldn't be available otherwise.

"Why have they taken your people?" she asked, unable to completely suppress her curiosity. Iziz didn't seem to mind. If anything, it seemed like he had expected the question.

"We find things, and they use them. Jawas slaves, serving. They lead with the whip and gaffi," he explained, and she turned to look at her companions, wanting their input, or more specifically Bastila's. She wasn't sure if the younger Jedi was following all of this, but her comment reassured her. 

"So these Jawas are scavengers who are enslaved by the Sand People? I think I am beginning to understand his plight."

"With the group that digs, we trade and are free. With People of Sand , we serve and die. We prefer you," Iziz went on quickly, probably seeing that they were considering his request seriously, and that she, at least, was inclined to agree.

"A few more questions, all right?" she requested, knowing she didn't have enough information just yet to go running out into the desert. 

"Iziz answers hoping you will free the tribe that he holds."

She nodded, carefully thinking of information she wanted or needed. She didn't doubt the native knew much more about this world than the feckless Czerka corporation, and this might be her only chance to get it. She couldn't help Iziz if she was ignorant, after all.

"Tell me about 'those that came before.'"

The little being shifted, slightly, and had he been human Alriah might have thought he was rolling his eyes. 

"You stand on Anchorhead, a place named and named again. You come to dig, but it was already dug. Settled over and over. Also long ago, ships fell after battles above. Now we scavenge and find the pieces."

"It could be that this Jawa know things about this planet's history that the Republic has no inkling of," Bastila remarked, sounding a bit disturbed at the prospect. She wondered why members of the Republic always seemed to be forgetting that there was a great deal that was unknown, and that the natives of these worlds would always know more than a mere visitor. It made perfect sense to her, but so many others couldn't see that.

"You dig ore and dirt. In time from now, we will dig you, just like digging those that came before," Iziz commented, briefly fixing his glowing eyes on Bastila before turning back to her, awaiting her next question, or her decision.

"I'm looking for something called a Star Map. Can you help?" she asked, choosing not to say anything about that last, or to comment on how much the idea seemed to bother her companion. One day she'd learn that there was a natural order to things, and Jedi or not, she was part of it.

"These are things I know!" the Jawa leader exclaimed, his voice becoming almost incoherent in his excitement at finding he knew something about what they searched for, "Yes! From those that came before, the guide to lights far and away. I can tell you! Please, first help the tribe of Iziz among the People of Sand, and we will trade what we each need."

She smiled at that, amused by his reaction. She would have helped him anyway, but now that she knew he could direct them to the Star Map, she had a way of convincing the others to go along with it. 

"Tell me where your people are. Maybe I'll help."

Alriah wished she could be more definite, but she wasn't in the practice of making promises she might not be able to keep. If she could find the place and free his people, she would. She just wouldn't commit to it until she knew she could keep her word.

"People of the Sand in the sand. There is a place in the far south where they live. The approach holds great fighting. Bring the tribe from in to out and there will be payment in trade and thanks."

The reply was straightforward enough, if not especially informative, but she appreciated both the information and the oblique warning. 

"I'll check it out when I leave the city," she assured the little being gently, "Goodbye."

"Iziz hope you have the luck you need," the Jawa leader answered, apparently aware that she really did want to help him. She spoke briefly with the gate guard, who simply asked for her hunting license and let her through, though not without a glance toward Iziz. Just outside the gate was a woman she didn't recognize, and she approached her very cautiously, sensing a great deal of vindictive malice around her.

"Hello there. You're heading out to the desert? You're a hunter, right? You must be if you've been allowed to leave Anchorhead." the woman, who she sensed was named Marlena, called, then rushed on before she could say anything in response, "When you see Tanis, and I know you know him, tell him his wife hopes he enjoys the anniversary gift."

"Um, all right? What if he has a message for you?" she asked guardedly, trying to remember if she knew a Tanis. Then she recalled the annoying, flirtatious hunter from the lodge and sighed inwardly. Clearly his ways had gotten him in trouble with his wife.

"Oh, I'll be long gone soon enough. The next shuttle to... anywhere, really. I've had it with cleaning up his messes, repairing his droids," she replied coldly, and once again the Deralian picked up a clear sense of malice and outrage, "If he lives, he can try and get by on his own. I doubt he'll last long with no one to listen to his lies.

"Why do you think I would know him?"

The question was largely from curiosity, but also from an instinctive desire to keep the woman talking. Maybe she could get some information from her, or at least find out what she'd done to her husband.

"Don't play dumb. You're just another of his playthings down at that "hunting" club. I know your type through and through," Marlena retorted sharply, and it took a great effort not to burst out laughing, "Well, he can do what he wants. He'll get what he deserves. I bought my own license just so I could see that he did."

Alriah gave the woman a long look, then remembered abruptly that she'd called whatever she was planning a 'gift.' This didn't sound like a gift that she'd want to ever receive.

"Anniversary gift? What are you talking about?" she asked, hoping Marlena would finally tell her just what she'd done.

"Just a little something to remember me by. Something that symbolizes our years together. Something that will blow up in his face. Of course, he'll never understand how appropriate it is. He can't talk his way out of this one. He's not smart enough."

The dark woman frowned, glancing over at Bastila, who nodded. They both sensed the darkness and rage about this woman, then, but unlike her companion, she knew better than to believe this was the dark side of the Force acting on the woman. It was simply the dark side of human nature.

"You sound like you're planning to kill him," she remarked bluntly, and Marlena laughed.

"Oh, I'm through planning. I just left him a little mess that he has to take care of. If he's smart, he'll be just fine. But he's not smart," she replied, her voice cold and full of hate and vengeance. She wasn't going to tell them what she'd done, and Alriah sighed inwardly. It would be a delay, but they could hardly leave a man in the desert knowing he was going to be killed. Sometimes she disliked being duty-bound to be helpful and protect lives.

"I have to go," she stated hesitantly, and the woman fixed her with a vicious smile. 

"I'm sure you do," she murmured giving her a once-over that made her feel a little dirty, "Like I said, when you see him, tell him his wife Marlena says hello."

The woman jogged off, leaving the two Jedi and the droid alone in the sand. With a mental shrug Alriah started into the dune sea, following her instincts and the Czerka markers. Before long she could make out the form of a man surrounded by four specks, as well as a cry on the wind.

"Anyone out there...? Could you help? I seem to be... ahh... doomed!"

'Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?' the Sentinel asked herself, then shook her head and walked up to Tanis, surprised and a little amused to see his droids surrounding him, clearly on the fritz. She half-listened to his greeting, asking what the trouble was as soon as he gave her a chance.

"The wife put a kink in my battle droids." he explained, looking hurt and annoyed, "They're in some sort of discharge loop, and if I move from this spot, they're threatening to blow up. She knew I wouldn't know how to fix them. Could you try to do some repairs? They don't care if you move. It's just me who's stuck."

He gave her a long look similar to the one his wife had given her, and once again Alriah found herself feeling dirty. She shivered inwardly, shaking off the feeling, but not before Bastila had sensed it. Her eyes darkened, and she glared at Tanis, looking ready to throttle him herself.

"I say we leave him," she declared calmly, an edge of jealousy audible in her voice to the trained listener. Tanis didn't seem to notice, but the older Jedi certainly did, and she was both touched and a little concerned by her friend's behavior. 

"You're pretty heartless for such a pretty lady, you know?" the dark man pointed out, and Alriah almost fell over laughing. Bastila just continued to glare, then looked over at the taller Sentinel, her gaze very serious.

"I take it back. Let's congratulate his wife."

It took all her self-control not to burst then and there, and only HK's comment saved her from totally disgracing herself in front of the younger Padawan.

"I say we blast the meatbag and save you the trouble, master."

"What's with all the droids, lately? My wife get to you, too?" Tanis asked, noticing, as the other two humans did, the way his rifle was once again shifting restlessly in his arms.

"Negative. I just don't like organic meatbags. Except for the master, of course. Ha ha."

Alriah intervened, holding up a hand for silence and ignoring the 'victim's' comments entirely. She went from one droid to another, assessing the problems that had been caused by the "Slimeball Must Die" subscript. Each droid had a different error, and would self-destruct if the wrong programming was entered. She shrugged to herself, fixing each one with cautious ease, privately amused by the message Marlena had left behind for her husband. When she'd fixed the four battledroids, Tanis thanked her and made some comment about repair manuals before running back to Anchorhead, a rather distinctive scent wafting after him. He obviously hadn't learned anything, though, and that was almost a pity. She just hoped she wouldn't have to save him again.

'And the Force knows I would, for some reason...'

She laughed inwardly, amused by her thoughts. Sensing trouble elsewhere, she turned, finding a huge sandcrawler in the middle of the area. They were attacked by what could only have been sand people as they neared it, and she had to admit that the Jawa had been right. They were like ghosts. Even with the Force enhancing her senses she barely felt them in time to block their opening volley of blaster fire. HK returned fire with a will while she and Bastila focused on the two coming at them with raised gaffis. They were skilled enough with their weapons, she noted as she exchanged blows, but she and the other Jedi were better. Before her opponent knew what was happening she swung her off-hand saber down toward his head, then buried her yellow blade in his chest, watching him fall with a sense of shock that was almost hidden by his mask and robes. Bastila was already dispatching her enemy as well, so she turned to the one HK was still exchanging fire with. Using a trick she'd picked up from watching Juhani, she leapt across the intervening space, using the sun to blind the alien as she landed behind him, her short blade buried in his chest.

'Bastila, I want to take their gaffi sticks... and their robes.'

'_Their_robes_? You want to disguise yourself as a sand warrior?_'

'That's exactly what I'm going to do,' she answered calmly, 'but not until we're closer to their enclave, and further from Anchorhead. I don't want to have to kill anyone I don't have to.'

Bastila had to agree with that, but she was mildly annoyed to note that the woman seemed surprised. It wasn't as if she enjoyed killing, after all. They started toward the crawler again, finding two terrified miners and their supervisor there, terrified of another attack by the sand people. When a trio came rushing from the dunes, she had to agree they had good reason for their fear. The first set was the same type of warriors they'd faced before, but the next were hardier, more skilled, the elite of their people, she decided. Once again one stayed back to exchange fire with HK, but while the other two closed, they refused to fight separately. They fought back to back, making it much harder for the two Jedi. 

'I'll distract them,' she told the other Sentinel in a mental whisper, 'You try to take one of them down.'

Before she could object, Alriah stepped in, forcing both sand people to attack her. She was faster than they were, but they were much better defended, and more than once only quick reflexes and instincts kept one of their two gaffi sticks from striking her head. Finally Bastila was able to slip behind one, and he was run through before he knew she was there. The distraction gave Alriah her chance, and she took it, sweeping one lightsaber up to knock the gaffi out of his hands while the other decapitated him neatly. HK had already finished the third, but the cries on the wind alerted them to more incoming. These were again different, and from what little she could sense of them, they were Holy Warriors, though what made them holy was anyone's guess. 

'They're strong,' she warned her companion, then had to duck as all three ran straight at her, clearly recognizing that she was the leader here. In pure skill she outmatched any one of them, but as a group they crowded her so badly it was difficult to keep her blade up, and for her companions to attack them, for fear they'd hit her. She took some hard hits to her arms and torso, and while her armor protected her from the worst of it, she was left hurting and a bit slow. She heard the rush of a gaffi coming for her head and ducked, only to have the wind knocked out of her by another. She keeled over, then fell as something hard and heavy managed a glancing blow against her head. 

'_**Alriah!**_'

The cry warned her of danger, and she rolled quickly, feeling her muscles complain at the strain. When she looked up again Bastila had speared two of the warriors, one on each blade of her saber. The last she killed with a quick up thrust of her longer blade, climbing to her feet as he lay dying in the sand. 

'_Alriah, are you hurt?!_'

She glanced at the younger Jedi, raising a dark eyebrow before using her Healing ability. Bastila used hers as well, and thankfully the two Force powers were sufficient for her head to stop spinning and her stomach to feel less like vacating itself of any food she may have eaten lately. The miners approached and thanked them before running to Anchorhead, and she leaned back against the now abandoned crawler, following them with her senses to be sure they arrived safely. Once they were back in the town she straightened with a sigh, giving Bastila a weak smile.

'I'm alright, Bastila,' she assured her silently, 'I just wanted to be sure the miners would be safe. Come on. We still have a ways to go.'

The Jedi might have argued, but already she was straightening her armor and ensuring her lightsabers were secure. The dark woman knew the younger Jedi was worried and upset, but she also knew they couldn't stop. As they walked past the crawler, she heard a cry on the wind, but it felt wrong. Still, she turned toward it, striding through the dunes to a pile of wreckage, where they heard a woman calling for help. She knew no woman was there, but still she felt compelled to stay. There was life here, full of malice and anger, but also stupidity. She sensed the impending explosion as she approached and used the Force to push Bastila out of it's range, but so subtly their waiting enemies wouldn't notice.

'_Alriah, what are you-_'

The frag mine went off, throwing shrapnel in all directions. Instinctively the Sentinel covered her eyes against the objects and light, knowing full well she could protect herself with the Force but choosing not to. Her enemies wanted her to be weak and injured, and while the frag mine didn't actually do that much harm the blood on her face and hands would be convincing. When the Gamorreans jumped out of cover and threatened them for credits, she laughed inwardly. The aliens weren't the most intelligent in the galaxy anyway, but at least two of the three seemed to be completely disconnected from intelligent thought. The leader, however, was a little trickier, but careful persuasion soon had them walking away thinking themselves the winners. She sighed, grateful they hadn't had to fight them, but the pain from the shrapnel wounds was making itself known and already another trio of sand people was coming for them. These were elite warriors, she noticed, and they were better prepared for them this time. HK laid down cover fire, slowing their advance, giving her and Bastila a chance to engage them separately. The battle was over almost as soon as it had started, and they walked on, though Alriah was aware of the concern and fear nagging at Bastila. They reached a pathway into the deeper desert, but it was surrounded by both mines and sand people. The scout sighed wearily, feeling very old and tired just then. 

'I can disable the mines, but not while they're standing there,' she commented silently, 'We need to kill them to get through.'

She knew Bastila wanted to say something then, but she didn't give her a chance. Instead, she ordered HK to fire, so of course he did. The droid took entirely too much pleasure from killing, she decided, and she wasn't entirely comfortable having him around, but she needed a translator, and he was it. 

'_Damn you_.'

She smiled wryly, blocking an incoming blow from a gaffi while ducking under another one. She dropped and rolled as two warriors came at her, flipping her lightsabers in her hand and impaling them both as they collided. She put one in Stasis and threw her off-hand lightsaber, knocking away a gaffi aimed for Bastila's head. The younger Sentinel was fighting with two while HK was barely warding off another three, and she leapt up, coming down in front of the one attacking Bastila's back and killing him before running to clash with the droid's attackers. She could feel her companion coming to fight at her side, the droid a few steps away firing gleefully, but suddenly the battlefield vanished away, leaving her standing in nothingness. She felt a flash of fire, heard the distinctive crackle of a lightsaber, then there was nothing. She blinked once as sensation returned, feeling armor, cloth, and living flesh under her head and the burning sun beating down on her face. She meant to get up, but her body didn't seem to be under her control. After a minute or two had passed she realized why. She was having a seizure, and what was worse, she was completely aware of her surroundings and totally out of control herself. Alriah knew Bastila was holding her head down, keeping her from injuring herself further, and she also knew that the younger woman wasn't as strong as she was physically.

"No!_NO!_Don't you dare!"

It took a few moments for her to realize that her body was failing. Human's were so frail, she reflected absently. She considered just letting it be, letting everything fade to nothing, but something wouldn't let her. Bastila, specifically. The younger woman was holding her together on sheer will, and now she could sense that somehow one or more of the sand people must have gotten a blow to her head, incapacitating her. Bastila's lightsaber had cut the sand people down without mercy, if the state of their corpses was any indication, and something told her that should upset her, that it wasn't right. 

"You're stronger than this, Alriah! Fight, damn you!"

_She's right,_ a voice declared, breaking through the fog in her mind and revealing the bright figure, _You are stronger. You cannot give up. Fight! You must not be defeated! You _WILL_ not be defeated! FIGHT!_

She couldn't ignore the two voices, no matter how badly some part of her welcomed death, almost as if it were an old, familiar companion. 

_**Death was my lot, and I accepted it,**_the shadow told her as she struggled with that inner calling, _**But it is not your time. Rise, Alriah Dakari. The little one is calling. The Force is calling. The young one is calling. And you cannot turn them away, any more than I could**_.

She gathered her will, pushing away the urge to let death take her. The shadow was right. It wasn't her time. The song that was the Force told her as much, and it was incapable of lying. And she couldn't leave _her_.

'Bastila... Healing...' she managed to whisper silently, and the Padawan's trembling hands suddenly steadied and warmed. She could feel the woman's power flowing through her from those hands, and she took that strength and bent her will to combining it with her own. Light blinded her for a moment, then she was gasping as her body fell limp, the muscles relaxing and then becoming still. She rested for just a moment, content to lay staring at the brilliant blue sky, Bastila's hands in her hair, her head in her lap, then sighed and staggered to her feet. To her surprise HK-47 steadied her as she rose, and she got the impression that the droid didn't know why he'd done it, but if she were honest she was glad. She needed the help, and Bastila wasn't strong enough, since now that she was feeling better she could tell the younger Jedi was wounded too, though not severely. Once she was sure she was balanced she stepped away from the red machine, starting to work on the mines. She'd already let one blow up under her. She wasn't about to subject Bastila or herself to that experience again. 

'_You should be resting,_' Bastila growled through their bond, '_Not retrieving explosives._'

The raven-haired Jedi chuckled to herself, aware her companion was right but also aware that there was no time for it just yet. Once they had the Star Map, maybe there would be, but not until then. Once the mines were safely stowed away they walked on, fighting their way through the large area of desert between them and the Sand People's enclave. As they went they found various corpses and more than a few mines for her to disable, and all the while she felt herself getting stronger, more connected to the Force. When they had neared the enclave and gone far enough that she doubted anyone else would be out here she had her companion don the robes of the Sand People, allowing them to walk unquestioned through the alien guards, right past the turrets at the gates, where the warrior standing there immediately recognized that they were not his people. HK-47 proved his worth then, translating and seeing to it that the guard took them to the chieftain of the tribe, who was suspicious, but willing to let her prove her intentions. After a few cautious questions, she found that they did indeed have the Jawas and they'd be willing to cut down on their raids, though not stop them, but only for moisture vaporators. After she agreed the chieftain had them escorted back outside, where she led them all back to Anchorhead.

'_Where are we going to get vaporators?_' Bastila asked as they approached the huge wall of the space port, '_From the Czerka? I doubt we could afford them, and Czerka won't like it. I agree that a peaceful resolution would be best, but..._'

'I know,' Alriah answered, 'but I think I know who to ask.'

And she did. Greeta, the Czerka shopkeeper, agreed to sell her a set for three hundred credits, a price she could afford easily, even more so when she turned in the gaffi sticks they had collected. They returned to the enclave at a run, shocking both the guard and the Chieftain with their prompt return, and with the fact that they carried the vaporators. The chieftain handed over his gaffi and gave them permission to not only explore, but to take both Griff and the Jawas away with them. She gave the tribe the news, and they promised to return to Iziz. Before talking to Griff, though, she sent HK to summon Mission, who greeted her brother with enthusiasm at first, despite his attempts to lie to the Deralian about who he was. After finding out that Lena had been right about him, though, Mission was enraged, even more so when the Twi'lek asked for money from Alriah. She sighed inwardly, giving it to him for Mission's sake, because she knew Griff's little sister really did love him, despite her anger. 

'_That was kind of you, for all that he will likely waste the credits._'

She agreed, but it was the right thing to do. For now, though, she wanted to focus on the mission, and that meant going back to Iziz for the information he had promised. When they made the run back to the gate where he waited, he was almost even more incoherent in his pleasure at having his people returned safely, and gave her a map of the Eastern Dune Sea, where a cave housed an ancient device that could only be the Star Map. Iziz also warned her of the great beast that lived there, which she was grateful for. She hated going into things blind, and now she had much more information than she had before. Before she could start off toward the desert again, however, Bastila all but dragged her back to the Ebon Hawk, treating what wounds hadn't been already healed and commanding her to rest before storming off, mentally grumbling about stubborn foolishness. 

'I can hear you, you know,' the dark-eyed Jedi commented, and she felt the younger woman start, then blush as she ducked away, putting a damper on her thoughts that really wasn't entirely effective. Deciding that maybe the other Sentinel might have a point about resting, though, she decided to spend some time talking to her companions, getting to know a little more about them. Canderous was ready with a story about fighting Revan in the War, and she was struck by the way he spoke of the woman who would become the Dark Lord. He had obviously admired and respected her, but there was something else in his tone, something that told her that if Revan were to resurface somehow, he would follow her to the ends of the universe without question. She left him feeling a bit disturbed by it all, reflecting on what Revan had been willing to do to win the War. Alriah remembered then how she had thought the necessity of Revan's actions evil, but was unsure about the fallen Jedi herself. Now she was even more unsure. She may have been the Dark Lord, but from her dreams she knew the woman had regretted and remembered every death. The ability to take responsibility, to recognize the consequences of one's actions, was rare, but Revan had always known what she was doing. With a sigh she decided to lay down, but as soon as she had closed her eyes she was thrown into another dream.

"Malak, hold still," the Dark Lord murmured softly, and Alriah realized they were in a medical bay of some sort and that the young man still had his jaw. She thought about the last vision, realizing with a start that one had been much later than this, shortly before Malak had turned on his master. This was near the beginning, and from the view out the windows they had just left Tatooine. 

"Those damn Sand People..." the tall Sith muttered irritably, "Even the Force doesn't detect them until they're too close. Why?!"

"Because," Revan started to reply, forcing her larger apprentice down when he squirmed, "They are part of the desert. It's in them, in their blood, and they cannot help but blend into it. Can you blame them for taking advantage of it?"

"...No."

"Good. Now don't sulk and _hold still_!"

Malak chuckled, doing as he was ordered, and Alriah stepped closer, startled at the sound. She had heard it somewhere before, she was sure. Revan was examining him, using Force powers and technology both to heal injuries that had apparently been caused by both gaffi sticks and mines, but unlike the other interactions she'd seen between them they seemed relaxed and comfortable with one another, just two old friends talking about a battle. This was a side to them she hadn't seen up to now, but looking at them this way she could see why Malak would follow Revan so far. 

"Where did you learn that guillotine trick of yours?" he asked, sounding amused, "You could have cut my head off if your aim had been off!"

Revan laughed, pulling his tunic out of the way to doctor a nasty gash on his back.

"My aim is never off, and you know it."

"Oh, but Revan," and now the young Sith's voice took on a pedantic, nasal tone, "You mustn't be so overconfident in your skills. One day that pride will lead you down the dark path! One day you will destroy everything! Now, go through the motions as I showed them to you, and DO NOT improvise! I am the master here, and you are disobedient and reckless!"

Again the Dark Lord laughed, poking her friend in the side with her scanning tool.

"Good old Master Jef. He always believed I would cut my own hand, or head, off one day," she remarked, then sobered, her tone weary and sad as she added, "And as it turns out, he was right in one way. I am destroying everything, Malak. I am the Dark Lord of the Sith, leader of a huge army that has, and will, kill countless people. He was right to fear me. Even Master Kavarr feared me, and he was one of the greatest weapon master's the Jedi ever had."

Malak sighed, sitting up and clasping his friend's arm.

"I know we are not as close as we once were, Revan," he remarked, he face serious and intent, "but I am still your friend. You are not alone in the killing, and I know you hate what we're doing, but would it better to just let things stay as they are? The Republic is corrupt. I know you well enough to be sure there's more to what you're doing than destroying it, but if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Just don't carry all those lives alone. I know they hurt you, even though you were that mask that hides you from everyone else."

Revan shrugged, touching her black and red mask absently.

"We're Sith now, Malak. We're not supposed to have regrets. If the dark Jedi knew, they would try to kill me, and eventually one of them might succeed. I can accept death, but not that way, not at the hands of some fool upstart who doesn't have an inkling of my plans."

Malak shook his head, his big hand wrapping around his friend's smaller one in a surprisingly tender gesture.

"The dark side is changing me," he observed quietly, looking earnest and sincere, "I know that, and I know that I am losing myself in it. Before long, you and I may not be friends, and I will be just one more upstart dark Jedi trying to kill you. When that happens, Revan, I want you to treat me as you would them. Until then, just remember that I will support you however I can. What I most want you to remember, though, and what I may not be able to tell you again, is that I do not think the Dark Side is to you what it is to most. You won't lose yourself in it like I am. I truly believe that."

The Dark Lord sighed, bowing her head as if it were too heavy to hold up.

"I feel myself changing, Malak, and I do not like where it is heading. Look at what I have done, and at who I was before all this. I know that I alone am responsible for my actions, but..."

"Another Sith would call you a coward and a fool, Revan," Malak remarked, rising and wrapping the shorter woman in his arms, "but not I. One day I might, and on that day you will know that I am lost. For today, however, I know you are far wiser than any Jedi or Sith alive. That is why you are the Dark Lord, perhaps the only one in history to be able to call on both the light and the dark so easily. You are more a gray Jedi than a dark one. So promise me, Revan, that you will not give up. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are seeking and hoping the Star Forge will allow you to destroy, you must not ever give up. You must not be defeated."

Alriah stared as Revan allowed herself to be held for just a moment, then shook her head and stepped back, and once again they were Master and Apprentice. The pact had been made, however, and she looked over Revan's shoulder, finding Bastila looking on in complete and utter confusion. As the dream faded they were left alone within the Force, each with her own racing thoughts.

"I never knew Malak and Revan managed to stay so close after the fall," the Deralian remarked finally, needing to speak to break the overwhelming cycle of racing thoughts, "From the other dreams I had gotten the impression that they had begun to hate one another early on."

"And if they were such good friends, how could Revan cut off his jaw later on?" Bastila demanded, trembling under the weight of her conflicting emotions. Alriah sighed, running a hand through her dark hair. 

"He asked her to, Bastila," she explained softly, her tone conveying both her frustration and helplessness in the face of such an act, "He had fallen completely. She knew he was going to try to kill her, and he had wanted her to treat him as a Sith Master should treat an enemy. So she did. I understand that now. I just... I don't want to believe it, I suppose. Watching them like that, seeing how close they were, makes it hard to understand a great deal of what happened between them later."

Bastila nodded, and Alriah sighed inwardly when she sensed her companion had calmed somewhat. She didn't want to argue with her about this sort of thing again, and she was glad that the Talravin Jedi seemed to have learned not to assume that she condoned Revan's actions. 

"Come along, Alriah," the braided woman murmured, her eyes fixed on where the two Sith had been standing, "I feel the Force has shown us what it will for now, and the lesson is learned. I only hope that the cycle doesn't end up being repeated."

Bastila disappeared, but she remained, sensing the shadow approaching her.

"It has already started."

_**It has. But you see now why they were so different. Malak drowned in the darkness, giving up the man he had been in exchange for greater power. His Master, who never sought blindly as he ended up doing, did not drown, just as he foresaw. The Force allowed him that chance, that moment, to do what he could. And he took it. Once he was a good man.**_

"I see that. And yet... it is clear he loved her. So why did he not fight?"

_**Malak knew his own nature too well. He could not resist the lure of the dark side, and he choose that path rather than the much harder road his Master took. I wished you to see this, because it was the last time he was truly himself. That man exists only as an echo and a memory now.**_

Alriah knew that to be true, just as she knew a great many things, but as was often the case she didn't dare think too deeply on the subject. Always that barrier waited, but she was learning now what triggered it. There would come a time, though, when that barrier would be shattered and she would know the truth. 

_**And that day is coming, Alriah Dakari. And you know, as I do, that the little one fears and hopes for it.**_

"I do know," she answered softly, "and I share that with her. But it must come."

_**Very good. Go now. Be with your friends. **_

She woke up then, smiling gently at Bastila, who was leaning over her with a worried expression. She knew better than to address the dream with her right now, though, so she sat patiently while her friend examined her and declared her healed, if not exactly rested. 

'_I still think you need more sleep,_' the younger Padawan remarked, her tone one of mixed concern and agitation, '_But for now this will have to do._'

Bastila walked out, leaving her to clean herself up. Once she felt a little less like a walking sand dune she left the dormitory and approached Juhani, who she had been worrying about for a while. When the Cathar greeted her, she smiled tiredly, knowing the Guardian could sense her weariness but was too polite to comment on it. In any case, they were all tired. The destruction of a planet was hard on anyone, but most of them had witnessed it, and Juhani was a Jedi. She would have felt it.

"Tell me more about your past," the Deralian coaxed gently, sincerely curious. Juhani had been reticent for a while, and she knew the younger woman was dwelling on something painful. Hopefully this would help take her mind off it.

"Well..." she started hesitantly, "I suppose I have not talked very much about the Jedi I met back home. They, all of them, were so very... invigorating."

"Invigorating?"

"There were so very alive," the cat woman explained, "So full of hope and energy and zeal. In retrospect I can see it was a little bit tragic..."

"Tragic?" she asked, a little surprised. Juhani nodded, looking past her at something or someone that seemed to exist only in memory now. 

"Well... yes... these Jedi were going to fight the Mandalorians just after they had invaded. Many of those Jedi perished in the fighting. But to us, they seemed invincible, especially their leader, who they talked about all the time. Paragons of light and justice, sweeping away all iniquity before them. It was like looking at gods..."

Alriah frowned at that, wondering if the young Cathar was waxing poetic or being literal. She decided that perhaps she was being poetic, but just in case she wasn't she commented softly, "If that was the case, they seem to be misrepresenting themselves."

"I was merely using poetic license," the Cathar replied, sounding a touch embarrassed, but went on when the Sentinel gave her an understanding smile, conveying that she had thought as much, "Those Jedi... They were enthralling... Everyone wanted just to touch them. Some people thought it would bring them luck. Not that the peace they brought lasted very long..."

As the Guardian trailed off, the dark woman leaned in a little, sensing a wave of anger and sadness wash through her companion and wanting to alleviate it, but knowing she couldn't without knowing what had caused it. And of course asking would make it worse, at least initially, but at least Juhani would be able to get it out.

"What happened?"

"The Jedi left. The people grew complacent," the frustrated Jedi answered, her golden eyes seeing into the past, "Those who had been wronged saw their chance at revenge... and so the cycle continues. The oppressed became the new generation of oppressors. The human oppressed that is... The non-humans were never treated well in any case... We felt the brunt of both administrations..."

"Was it that bad?"

The question had been intended to provoke a reaction, and it did, though it was stronger than even Alriah had expected. 

"Of course it was!" she spat, her voice dropping into an almost feline hiss, "They took their frustrations and hates out on us because the people they wanted had already fled or were too well protected. But no one looks out for the injustices we suffered! Oh, no!" 

Juhani stopped herself from continuing to rant with a visible effort, shaking her head as if to clear it. The waves of emotion coming off her were still strong, but they were not so strained and felt less like the woman was ready to snap. Short though it had been, the words had released some of what she'd been bottling away, and that was what the Deralian cared about. Emotion was unavoidable, but what made it so dangerous to Jedi was the way they bottled it up until the smallest thing drew out every darkness and enlarged it.

"But... I am sorry, I should not have outbursts like that."

She shook her head and shrugged, feeling a surge of anger of her own. The Jedi Council may have been wise and even meant well, but they were destroying these young, talented Jedi with their teachings. Juhani and Bastila were prime examples of that, and she didn't know if there was anything she could do to show them that the teachings weren't meant to be taken quite so literally. After all, who was she to dispute the words of the Council?

"As long as you do not let your anger influence you."

"Don't you see?" Juhani retorted, all of her anger directed at herself now, "The very fact I mentioned it means it has its influence. Anger can lead to the dark side and I must be ever careful that I do not fall back into those ways."

The dark woman's expression must have given her away, because the Cathar suddenly relaxed somewhat, her fierce expression softening.

"I... I thank you for your support. My outburst was uncalled for, but you did not lash back at me. You are a much better Jedi than I, it would seem. But let us not speak more of this now. We should continue on our journey. Perhaps later we will talk again."

They would be doing that, Alriah decided as she strode away, calling the Guardian and Bastila to join her. She and Juhani had much to discuss, including her "fall" and its true source. She didn't doubt that Quatra had provoked the temperamental Cathar deliberately, but how was the real question. That needed to be answered, because it was festering inside her still, tormenting her until she was blinded by emotion. That was dangerous, but not as much as trying to fight or ignore it.

'_You really believe that, don't you?_' Bastila asked as they crossed the dune sea, heading for the area Iziz had marked for them, '_The Masters say that we must surpass our emotions, but I have seen that you do not do this, and yet you remain so strong in the Light. How?_'

'I feel, Bastila, and I accept the fact that I must. To do otherwise would be to deny that I am a feeling being, and I cannot do that. No one can.'

The Padawan lapsed into silence, fascinated and frightened by the idea. In the Eastern dunes they passed several interesting desert creatures, dewbacks, as well as a small herd of Bantha. Outside the cave was Komad Fortuna, the Twi'lek hunter she had met in the lodge and thought worthy of respect. When his human companion yelled something about not waiting any longer and a dragon, she hurried forward, just in time to hear his dying screams. Komad shook his head, explaining that a Krayt dragon had taken up residence here, and he considered it a danger to Anchorhead. From what she sensed within the cave, Alriah had to agree. The beast was warped and enraged, like the kath hounds of Dantooine but on a much greater scale. He explained his plans and sent her off to lure some Bantha once she agreed to help, warning her reluctantly of the danger of sand people attacks. The warning turned out to be accurate, as they were attacked by a particularly vicious band about halfway back to the cave. The fodder she'd purchased back in the space port had come in handy after all, she mused as she fought, feeling her body responding much more quickly now that it was more rested. The Sand People were no match for three Jedi, and before long they had lured the great beasts close enough to the entrance of the cave to entice the dragon within.

'_That thing is..._'

There was no word for the great beast that came out, and as the trap was sprung and the mines exploded, Alriah grieved for its death. Such creatures were rare, and even though this one had been essentially destroyed even before the mines, it still felt wrong to have aided in its death. Komad seemed to agree, and handed over a very unusual pearl collected from the dragon, keeping another for himself. The Deralian accepted it and wished him well, watching him walk away with a bowed head and drooping head tails, staring at the gem in his hand. It wasn't a trophy to him, she realized, any more than it was to her. It was a reminder of what was wrong in the galaxy. With a mental shake she brought herself back to the present, reluctantly cutting the huge beast apart so they could enter its lair. The Star Map was clearly visible in the back, looking just as it had in the vision, but before approaching it some instinct told her to search the area. She found a couple of crystals, miscellaneous tools and equipment, and in one tattered pack, a slightly damaged holocron.

'Bastila?'

She handed the device over, and the Talravin girl gasped, tears springing to her purple-gray eyes as a shaky figure of a man appeared from it, speaking in a low, thoughtful voice. His daughter took after him, she decided, though she clearly got much of her disposition from her acidic mother. 

'_My father's holocron... he's really dead... I didn't want to believe it._'

'I'm so sorry.'

That was all she could say as grief washed over the younger Sentinel, and she looked helplessly at Juhani, who was watching them both with sad golden eyes.

'I know what it is to lose your parents,' the Cathar remarked silently, 'but now I see that perhaps it is worse to care for someone as they experience that loss and be able to do nothing.'

Alriah nodded, turning her black gaze back to Bastila, who had tucked the holocron away and was trying to gather herself so they could complete their mission here. By silent agreement they approached the Star Map, and it opened itself to reveal a similar map to the one they had seen before, but that didn't stop it from being both beautiful and disturbing.

"The Star Map. Even after all thousands of years it has been here, it still has tremendous power. Can you not feel it?" Juhani asked, her voice reflecting the emotions they were all experiencing. Bastila gave her a strange look, as if she was wondering if the Guardian wasn't being tempted by that power.

"The Star Map is an artifact of the dark side. The krayt dragon may have been drawn here by its dark power, only to be enslaved by it. Come. We should leave this place. There is nothing else for us here."

The Deralian met Juhani's eyes, shaking her head slightly to keep her from responding out loud.

'I know what you meant,' she assured her softly, 'And you are more right than Bastila. Some things get warped by exposure to the dark side, or even by the intentions of their makers, but the fact remains that nothing is inherently evil. The dragon was warped, yes, but not enslaved, and that is an important distinction. The dark side can enslave one's will, but it is far more likely to warp the mind until there is no need for enslavement. It is destruction, not tools, that the darkness craves.'

The Cathar took that in and found the statement both reasonable and accurate from what she had seen and experienced. They turned together and followed Bastila to the mouth of the cave, where the Sentinel gestured to the waiting air speeders and the various figures beside them. Calo Nord she recognized from Davik's estate, but the others, Aqualish and Rodians, seemed to be hired muscle. Calo said something about having a reputation to maintain, but she really didn't care about that. What she did care about was his mention of Malak. Regardless of who he worked for, he didn't want to kill him and his flunkies, but he wasn't giving her any choice. She was tired of death, but it seemed to be following her everywhere she went. And so was Revan's former friend. The question was why? Calo was targeting_her_, not Bastila.

'Alriah,' Juhani whispered, the faint strain of her mental voice telling her how much of an effort it was to connect with her like this, especially in the middle of battle, 'does this not strike you as odd? He mentioned Malak! Is he working for the Sith?'

'I don't know,' she answered, absent-mindedly blocking a spray of blaster bolts with her lightsabers, 'but I do feel he has been with the Dark Lord. But why would he be trying to kill me and not Bastila? She's the one important to the war effort...'

Juhani fell silent for a few moments, eliminating the last of the thugs along with the braided Sentinel while the dark woman focused on the bounty hunters.

'Perhaps Malak knows something the Jedi do not, or choose to ignore,' the cat-woman muttered, so quietly that if Alriah hadn't known she had to intentionally think _at_ her in order for her to hear most of the time she would have wondered if she was meant to hear the comment.

'Or perhaps he realizes that Battle Meditation does not when wars alone,' Juhani went on, and this time she heard a touch of cold anger when the Guardian thought of Bastila. That worried her. There was some friction between the two Jedi, she knew, but she had hoped it would get better, not worse, with time and exposure to one another. Whatever the younger woman was holding in was related, she was sure, and as she drove her yellow blade through Calo Nord's throat, she sighed. It was bad enough they had to leave a trail of bodies behind them. Now she had to worry about conflicts within her party. She took the bounty hunters' gear and lead them back to the Ebon Hawk, determined to get some answers to at least some of her questions. First she approached Bastila, who was staring distracted at the holocron.

"How can I help?" she asked as Alriah walked up to her, and the dark-haired woman wondered why she always felt the need to say that.

"Do you want to talk?" 

"About my mother? I am unsure. I seem to find it difficult to remain objective when it comes to her. I find that... disturbing."

The Deralian took a deep breath, trying to shake off her sense of deja vu. Then she realized it wasn't actually deja vu. Bastila had said that the last time she asked about her mother. She must have been very distracted to do that, or at least she hoped that's all it was. 

"Are you going to give the holocron to her?" she inquired gently, putting aside her thoughts so she could focus on the smaller Jedi. 

"Do you think I should?" the braided woman asked softly, unable to tear her eyes away from the small figure of her lost father.

"You might want to consider it," Alriah answered carefully, and this time Bastila looked up at her.

"That would just lead to another argument. How I always despised talking to her."

The dark-eyed Sentinel considered that carefully, unsure of what to say. Finally she settled for an honest, direct question that she hoped would get a direct answer, or at least would get her companion to really think about the issue.

"Do you need it more than she does?"

Bastila stared at her for a long moment, then bowed her head, staring at the holocron projection again. She could hear the noise of her thoughts in her head, chaotic, agitated, and distressed, but otherwise incoherent. Had she had less self-control she would have been overwhelmed, but instead she let the emotions take their course, something Bastila still would not allow of herself. 

"I would like to keep something to remember Father as much as she would. I'll think about it," the younger Padawan answered finally, her mind still in an uproar, "I should... try and remember my training. I should be able to let go of this, but I can't. I don't want to talk about this any more. Lets... keep going."

Alriah wanted to say more but knew she shouldn't just yet. Instead she strode away, aware that Bastila needed to think on her own but wishing she could just hold the young woman and take her pain away. That, however, was not how life worked. Instead she went to the bridge where Carth stood, waiting for orders like a true soldier.

"Yes? What's on your mind?" he asked softly, not quite meeting her eyes. The Deralian shook her head and shrugged a little.

"Do you want to talk? You got pretty upset the last time we spoke."

"I, ahhh... I'm not very good at this," he mumbled uncertainly, radiating frustration and misery, "I... I know I owe you an apology. Uh... more than one, probably. I was just so desperate to finally face Saul directly in the battle over Taris, and now the Jedi have us looking for these... these Star Maps. I know this mission is important, it's just... I feel a bit useless. I can fight, sure, but I'm no Jedi... all this feels completely out of my league."

"Why don't you return to the front lines, then?" 

The question was serious. He was clearly uncomfortable and miserable with them, and he was right. This was out of his league. She wasn't sure it was in hers either. She was a scout, and her place was always in flux. He was a soldier. If nothing else, he would always have something he could be a part of, something he was singularly good at.

"Because this is more important. This may really, finally, make a difference... I suppose even if I can't figure out everything that's going on, I still want to help if I can," he answered finally, looking helplessly at his hands as he added, "I just hate not knowing what's going on and feeling this... helpless. But I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I've been a royal pain in the backside, haven't I?"

"Don't worry about it, Carth."

"No, I do worry about it," he argued persistently, refusing to just let it drop, "I've traveled the lanes more than once, I should know better than this. So... I'm sorry. Will you accept my apology?"

She laughed, clapping him on the back. She was tired of the tension among her group and if forgiving him would settle at least some of it, she would. It wasn't as if she was particularly upset with him any way. In the scheme of things, his outburst was fairly minor.

"Only if you agree to work with me, for once."

It was the older man's turn to laugh when he realized she was teasing him.

"Done! Let's get underway, then, shall we... partner?"

They shook on it, and Alriah walked away feeling just a bit easier about the dynamic between them, at least. Bastila and Carth still didn't like each other, but Mission and the big soldier seemed to have settled things between them, and Juhani had apparently decided to largely ignore him. It wasn't good, but it was apparent that if she tried to make them like each other, which she would never do, it would just make things worse.

'I haven't had to work in conditions like this since...'

Her thought trailed off as she realized that as far as she could remember, she'd never really been part of a group like this. What little she could remember of her time before the Republic military and of her childhood told her that even when she had been part of a group, she had always been separate from it somehow, close to only one or two other people. In this group she was closest to Bastila and Juhani, but she cared for all of them, including the droids. She wasn't sure how to behave with that revelation, but something she sensed made her turn her thoughts from herself and back to the others, which was just as well. She wasn't used to spending much time contemplating her existence or past, and she was getting a headache.

"Yes? What is it?" Juhani asked, her voice a touch harsh as she approached. 

"Is something wrong?" the Deralian asked softly, sensing that not only was something wrong, which wasn't new, the younger woman was ready to talk about it, which was.

"I... I have been bothered by something of late..."

That was something of an understatement, she felt, but she wasn't going to say that. Instead, she settled for keeping it simple.

"What is it?"

The Cathar's fierce eyes wouldn't meet hers, and that was never a good way to start a conversation.

"I never told you where I came from, did I? Where I grew up as a child? I suppose I was trying to deny what I was feeling."

"What?"

Now she was a little confused, but the picture was starting to come together. Had she been talking to Bastila she would have used the opportunity to tease her, but this wasn't the time, place, or woman to do that with. Juhani was deathly serious, and almost vibrating with tension and anger. 

"I have been wrestling with my feelings inside. Trying to come to terms with it, but I find I cannot," the Guardian started, fixing blazing eyes on her, "I must have someone to blame! Someone to blame for the destruction of my home world. Someone who is responsible for the deaths of everyone I have ever known except those on Dantooine!"

Agony coursed through Alriah's body, both her own and what Juhani had been trying to bury, ignore, or restrain as long as she'd known her. This is what had pushed the young Cathar over the edge, this is what Quatra had provoked her with, and now she needed to face the consequences of the Jedi's "training."

"You mean..."

"Taris!" the girl spat violently, interrupting her, "It was Taris that the Sith destroyed to try to kill you and your precious Bastila! Taris, my home world!"

"I am sorry, Juhani. I did not know."

She could have said a lot of things, but that was all she would allow herself. Bringing up the subject of the purple-eyed prodigy would only enrage her further, and any attempt to placate her would be a mistake and detrimental in the long run. She _wanted_ Juhani to get this out. An explosion of emotion only led to darkness if it was ignored or invalidated. She would not allow that. She cared far too much for the woman to watch her be destroyed by the "training" the Jedi Council and her beloved Master had given her.

"If it were not for you and Bastila, the Sith would have never had reason to destroy that world! It was your fault for being there, and your fault for rescuing Bastila! Without your intervention the Sith would have had no cause to lay waste to my childhood!" Juhani continued, oblivious to her thoughts, which was just as well.

"I..."

"Just let me vent my anger!" the Cathar hissed, just as she hoped she would, "I need someone to blame... something... anything! I hated that world, yet everything I learned as a child I learned there. It is as much a part of me as the air I breathe. I have this ache inside me where all my childhood memories lay, and I find your face there with them. If it were not for you, that world would still exist!"

Alriah bowed her head, letting the rage wash over and around her. Juhani was gasping at the unexpected release, and she looked up, meeting the golden eyes with her own black gaze, her expression understanding and pained.

"I am sorry, Juhani. There was no way to prevent it."

"I... I know..." the young Guardian answered softly, her body sagging visibly at the loss of the tension she'd been carrying around all this time, "I suppose I realized that. But it is so hard to lose your entire past. You would not understand."

Suddenly the Cathar stared at her, and Alriah's head started to pound. Juhani started to apologize, realizing that she'd said something very wrong, but the older Jedi wouldn't let her. They both knew that she had no past, really, though how she wasn't sure. It was just one of those things she didn't understand, and couldn't question without causing herself pain or worst.

"It will be alright, Juhani," the brunette assured her gently, and with so much understanding that tears sprang to the cat-woman's fierce eyes. 

"Yes... Yes I suppose it will. As long as we remain focused on our task it will. I am sorry. I will try not to distract you in the future with my trivial experiences. We should stop for now."

She heard Mission and Zaalbar passing, arguing about something or other, but she wasn't about to be interrupted. She didn't want to be overheard, however, so she switched to a mental whisper, staring deep into Juhani's eyes.

'Your experiences are not trivial, not to me. And if they are a distraction, they are a worthwhile one,' she stated firmly, 'If you _ever_ want to say _anything_ to me, you have my leave and encouragement to do so. It is not evil to feel. It is evil to suppress and deny it. I know what you have been taught, but you are Cathar, and I am human. This may sound corrupt, but there is no such thing as "no emotion," but there can be peace. Please, Juhani. Try to trust me.'

The cat-woman sighed inwardly, reaching across the distance between them to embrace her, which her fear and the presence of others would not allow her to do physically.

'I do, and I thank you.'

With that settled, if only for the moment, she felt a bit better about heading back to the cantina to see Helena. Bastila came, of course, and so did Juhani, who seemed to take comfort in her presence. 

"Back already? Have you even looked for the holocron, yet?" the aristocratic human demanded, her voice even harsher than it had been when they'd first met.

"I have the holocron, Mother," Bastila replied wearily, shaking her head, "I'm just not sure I want to give it to you."

"And why not? Would you deny me even that?" Helena demanded, trying to look indignant and hurt at the same time and not quite managing to balance them. There was no doubt in the dark woman's mind that she was indeed hurt, but she doubt it was for the reasons she was trying to portray.

"I've never denied you anything, Mother. You may think I don't remember what it was like before I left for the Order, but I do. You were the one who pushed Father to go on one treasure hunt after the other. You loved living in wealth. You think I don't remember the fights? You were eager to send me to the Jedi, even though I didn't want to go. You took Father away from me, and now this holocron is all I have of him."

Alriah was distinctly reminded of what she'd gone through with Juhani just a few minutes ago, and sighed. Was she destined to travel with damaged, hurt Jedi who had never been taught to cope with real life? 'No emotion' was all well and good, but it was not meant to be taken so literally! She cursed inwardly, forcing herself to pay attention to the older woman's response.

"Fool girl! You have a strange way of remembering things. That wasn't --"

'She protests too harshly,' the Cathar remarked from her side, quietly enough that Bastila remained oblivious to their conversation. Not that the Talravin Jedi was listening to them anyway, of course.

'Of course she does,' the Deralian replied, just as softly, 'She's so accustomed to either going through life like a Rancor and just ignoring everything in her way or lying her way through like a smuggler. Even if she's telling the truth, she doesn't know how to make that clear.'

"No, I don't wish to argue with you anymore, Mother," Bastila was saying when she refocused on the conversation happening in the outside world, "It's time we parted ways, now, for both our benefit."

"Maybe you should listen to what she has to say," she uttered softly, reminded her braided companion of her presence as well as gently nudging her to talk to her mother. Bastila could not live out her life burdened by this. One way or another, something had to be resolved, and she wouldn't waste this chance, even if Bastila was hell bent on doing so.

"You don't know her," the younger woman muttered, half miserable, half irritated, "My mother is notoriously deceptive when she wants something. Why should she have the holocron?"

'Bastila is... not being sensible.'

Alriah chuckled inwardly. That was an understatement, but she was proud of the tact the Guardian had just displayed.

"Is it too difficult to believe that I am a dying woman who simply wishes to see her dead husband one last time?" Helena retorted, oblivious to the exchange between the two Jedi.

"I find it difficult to believe anything you say, Mother," Bastila replied tiredly, and that at least the dark woman could understand. As she had already pointed out to Juhani, Helena was not accustomed to telling the truth, so even when she did it sounded like a lie.

"It sounds like you've already made up your mind," the brunette commented, her tone holding just the faintest hint of a reprimand. The younger Sentinel responded as if she'd been struck, looking back at her for just a moment as she sighed in frustrated exhaustion.

"You're right. It shames me, but I just... I find it difficult to... let go of the past," she remarked slowly, sounding as if the words were very difficult to say. She turned to her mother, shaking her head as she added, "I'm sorry, Mother."

Helena seemed to relax, and Alriah sensed that it was a mix of relief and hope that she could still get her way with her obstinate daughter.

"I was hard on you, dear. I wasn't a very good mother to you, I know that," she replied, her voice taking on what could almost have been sincere sadness and affection, "Your father loved you so. He wanted you to be just like him... he wanted to take you on his hunts, but I said they were too dangerous."

"Treasure hunting is a dangerous occupation," the dark-eyed Sentinel pointed out, again with a hint of reprimand in her voice.

"I always tried to keep him from the dangerous ones, but he would have none of it," Helena argued sternly, almost, but not quite, convincing the older Sentinel and the Guardian, "It was a reckless life we led, always moving... I didn't want that for you."

"So that's why you gave me to the Order?" Bastila asked, and to this Alriah said nothing, going so far as to block her thoughts from the other Padawan. She had her suspicions and doubts, but some parts of what Helena said she believed, and she didn't want to take away any chance of the two generations of Shan women making amends. The younger Jedi wanted to believe, and she certainly wasn't going to stop her.

"What do your father and I have to show for all those years of hunting? Nothing. That was no life for anyone, especially not someone as gifted as you." 

The older woman frowned, shrugging as if to say there was nothing she could do.

"Your father... he spent all his last years trying to pay for my treatments. That's why he went for the pearls. I begged him not to, but..."

"Your treatments."

"I'm dying, Bastila. I did not lie about that. It's been a long time in the coming, and there's really nothing that can be done anymore. I told your father to let me go, but you know how he was. Stubborn. Like you."

Bastila trembled all over, looking more than ready to cry but refusing to allow herself the release. 

"I'm so sorry, Mother. I don't know what to say," she finally managed, looking helplessly at Alriah, who stepped forward to lightly touch her arm, steadying her with the contact and with her own emotional stability.

"Keep the holocron, Bastila. It would do me good to know you have it. This... talking to you... this is what I really needed before I..."

Helena trailed off, as if unable to say the word, but she and Juhani knew it was also for effect. This woman never did anything for only one reason, and never selflessly, even when she meant it to be. That wasn't her fault, but it was still unpleasant to be around. Neither of them would comment on it and ruin the moment, though.

"I know, Mother. Thank you. I'm glad we talked too."

"Well, now. You said you had important business, and you were never one to mince words," the older woman said hurriedly, sound much like Bastila did when she was trying to get away from a subject that was too overwhelming and made her feel to exposed. She turned to Alriah, fixing her with an intense stare. 

"You there... you take care of my daughter, you hear me?"

The Sentinel grinned at the blush that spread across her face, standing strong and sure under the intent gaze. She's seen worse and it wasn't as if she wouldn't do it anyway. Still, she couldn't resist the chance to tease just a little.

"As if she'd let me!" she replied, trying not to laugh at Bastila's expression.

"You make her let you. She's too much like her father in that respect." Helena answered, and that she believed. With a soft smile, she lightly squeezed the younger Sentinel's shoulder, her black eyes boring into the older human's.

"I'll do my best," she stated simply, and she meant it. Helena smiled too, then straightened, once again seeming to feel that she was entirely too exposed.

"That's good. I'll feel a lot better knowing there's someone to watch her."

"Where are you going to go?" Bastila asked as her mother started to turn away, making her turn around and shake her head, her eyes sad.

"It doesn't matter, dear. Don't you worry about me."

Once again Alriah glanced back at Juhani, who sighed. Neither of them believed it entirely, but they were bound to silence here.

'I wish this woman could be trusted, but let it be,' she told her cat-like companion. The Cathar shrugged, agreeing but mildly annoyed by it all. That was all right. She was too.

"Here. Take these 500 credits. It's all I have. Go to Coruscant and find a doctor. I'll meet you there after... after what I have to do."

'Had I known you wanted to give her money, Bastila...'

'_I know. But this is something I have to do for myself._'

"But I already told you there's nothing that can --" Helena argued, once again unaware of what was going on in front of her face. Bastila shook her head, her face almost desperate.

"Please, take it. I... want to see you again. When we can talk."

Helena sighed heavily, but now it was more of an affectation than ever.

"Alright, I will. Now you do what you have to, Bastila. You go make your father and I proud."

"I'll try. Farewell, Mother."

The older woman left, and the two watching Jedi breathed twin sighs of silent relief. Neither had the patience for much more of Bastila's mother. Neither of them were fond of actors and liars.

'Is she really dying, Alriah?'

The dark human turned to her Cathar companion, black eyes hooded and full of shadows.

'Perhaps. It really depends on whether or not she chooses to live. Personally, horrible as it may sound, I think she prefers things this way. It makes her a martyr and gives her some sense of power over how she dies.'

She left Juhani to consider what she'd said, and why, and approached Bastila, who was staring at the doorway her mother had just left from.

"So do you feel better now?" she asked softly, giving nothing away in her voice. The Talravin prodigy sighed and nodded, turning to look up at her with warm eyes.

"Yes. That brought me a lot of peace. More than I thought it would have. Thank you for urging me towards it. After all my training, I would have thought it would have been easier. Apparently I still have much to learn."

They left the cantina and returned to the ship, done with their business on Tatooine, but Alriah was left feeling disturbed. It was true Bastila had gained some sense of peace, but it was a fragile thing, easily shattered. She shook her head sadly, laying down in one of the dormitories. She was tired, and her spirit hurt. On her own world they had a word for this feeling, and she snorted in amusement at the image of what the masters would look like if she said it in their presence.

_Do not give up all hope, Alriah Dakari,_ the bright form whispered, sounding very far away just then, _It is not time for despair._

'But that time is coming,' she answered calmly, without bitterness, 'And you are going to bear the brunt of it.'

Suddenly something shifted, and a new figure seemed to separate from the brilliant form, and now she understood something that had been nagging at her. The shadow approached then, and they stood together, one brilliant white, one grey, shining with an inner light until it was pure silver, dull in comparison to the light beside it, but no less beautiful for that. Behind them was the shadow, a blackness so complete it stood out from the darkness around it. Together they seemed to represent her past present and future, but she didn't know yet which was which. Before she could say anything, the light had absorbed the silver figure, and they were one again, as if that one had never been. So those two were still unclear and impossible to tell apart. That was interesting, but she was much too tired to think about it now, and her head was already starting to spin and pound. 

_**Rest now, Alriah Dakari. The little one can wait a while. The young one and I are with you. We will hold back the dreams for now. Sleep while you can. You have much left to do.**_

'I always do.'


End file.
